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Antonella passes in front of me, making her way to the building that I notice has no doorman.She opens the iron gate, the only barrier between the apartments and the street, without even needing a key.Damn, safety for what, right?
Already inside, she holds her daughter on the side of her body and extends one of her arms to me.I look at her with a raised eyebrow in mute questioning.
“The bags, Marcos, please?”
“I’ll go up with you, Antonella...” I say the obvious, and she frowns.
“It’s not necessary.Thank you for everything, for the day, for the help...” Her head lowers, and she takes a deep breath before continuing. “I don’t know if I’ll be able to work in the next few days, I need to find another day-care for Bella, I...” She shakes her head, denying it, and I can imagine that she is mentally listing the huge number of things she will have to deal with from now on.And the fact that she didn’t ask me for help instigates me to want to help her in a way I didn’t think I was capable of feeling. “But I’ll let Carmen know how things go.If you decide to hire someone else during this time, I’ll understand.But I can’t think about it now, okay?” she asks, making it clear that she really believes that’s the whole reason I’m still here. That makes me smile.
“You don’t hold me in high regard, do you?”
“Can you blame me?” She repeats the question she asked me days ago, and I bow my head, biting my lip and nodding silently. No, I can’t.
“No, Antonella. I can’t. I warned you I was a son of a bitch and I acted exactly like one with you.So, no, I can’t blame you. But that was before...”
“Before what?” She frowns.
“Doesn’t matter. Can we get in?”
“Why? Why do you want to come to my house? Why are you still here?”
“How about we do it like this, we go in, and I answer all your questions, what do you think?” She thinks for a moment, before agreeing with a nod and giving me passage.
I pass by the precarious gate and follow Antonella, who walks in front of me.As soon as we enter the building itself, the smell of mold invades my nose, punishing me. It just gets worse...
The space is narrow, there are only three doors on the first floor and a staircase to the upper floors, which has no floor covering or handrail, and I can’t help but wonder how Antonella intended to climb the steps full of unbalanced weights.It would be almost like she was asking to be in an accident.
But only with Isabella in her arms, with firm steps, she goes up step by step and I follow her. I’m only human, the moment my eyes meet her ass, they fixate on it.
God damn it, did she have to have such a hot ass?
And as I climb a narrow staircase in an old, poorly maintained building, carrying a children’s backpack on one shoulder and a women’s bag on the other, I feel my cock want to start swelling.This is definitely the most unlikely situation I’ve ever lived in my entire life.
I look away, looking everywhere and nowhere at the same time, letting the miserable details of the environment replace any indecent thoughts the hot ass in front of me may have given me.It works, the trace of erection goes away when we reach the third flight of stairs.I wonder how many are left.
The answer comes soon after, when we reach the top floor of the building.Antonella stands before a dark, worn-out brown door, and I realize she’s waiting for me.I get closer, and she reaches out to her bag.With a skill that I do not understand, while holding the child in her arms, she opens the bag, still held by me, removes keys from there and opens the door.She walks in, keeping it open so I can get through, and I do.
It is impossible not to analyze every inch of the clean, small and organized space.A small room, an even smaller kitchen and two doors, which I imagine are to a bathroom and a bedroom.
“I’ll put Isabella to bed, I’ll be right back...” she warns, heading towards one of the doors.
Alone, I allow myself to look even more closely at the details of the place.Photographs of Isabella on various moments over the past few years, some scattered toys, cheap furniture, books... law books.I raise my eyebrows again, caught by surprise by Antonella.
The old, worn-out covers indicate they are old books, I wonder who they belong to, and I make a mental note of satisfying my curiosity later.I take a deep breath, which makes me realize Antonella’s care for her daughter.Unlike the outside area, here the smell is not mold, but cookies.
And so, standing in the middle of a small room, with children’s clothes hanging on a floor clothesline, colorful drawings hanging on the walls and a teddy bear sitting on the couch, I realize that no matter how much it will fuck me, I’m not son of a bitch enough to fuck Antonella any more than she’s already fucked.
I leave the room, leaving the door ajar, and find Marcos with his back to me, looking at the drawings of Isabella that are hanged on the wall, above the sofa.
We’re not in Kansas anymore¹, are we, Asshole Marcos?
Alright, alright. If I have to be honest, today he showed more decency than I ever imagined having in his entire body. Why?
That question haunted me every minute of the day, and I’m finally about to find out the answer.Taking advantage of his distraction, I take a deep breath.Honestly, I don’t know if I have the energy or mind to play any role after the shitty day I had and I don’t even think it’s necessary, after all, if my age was an obstacle to the damn marriage, I can’t even imagine what the realization of the existence of a child, without Vaseline or preparation, can be called.
Feeling as ready as I think I’m capable of being, I clear my throat, drawing the blue eyes attention to myself.Marcos turns in my direction and, despite waiting for it, when his gaze hits me hard, my body doesn’t seem to be prepared.It’s a strange feeling and one that I’m in no mood to deal with.There’s that shiver that goes through my body every time he touches me, even minimally, but there’s more to it than that.
There is a desire to be touched.A strange desire for more, a precision of swallowing and licking my lips, there is almost a need for something that I do not recognize, but that I will certainly not strive to unravel.Not today, not now, not after everything I’ve had to put up with, not with everything I still need to think about.I lean against the wall, seeking a physical support for the impact of his gaze on me.
