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"But it says here that, regardless of what happens with the contract, from the date of its signature, Bella will start receiving monthly deposits in the amount of fifteen thousand reais, in a fund that only she can access and at the age of eighteen...” Stunned, I raise my eyes from the paper and stare at Marcos, who continues to play with the pen without looking at me, as if the aforementioned change was no big deal.
“Exactly...” he comments casually, and I need to fight the burning in my eyes.Even though I have no idea the reason for Marcos’ sudden generosity, its impact on Isabella’s life makes me want to cry with relief again.However, his carelessness and his obvious disinterest in explaining to me his motives makes me want to kick his pretty ass.I open my mouth, but I close it without saying anything.
I need a few moments before I formulate a sentence that makes sense, yet everything that comes out of my mouth is a single word.A question, actually.The elephant in the room.
“Why?”
“Why what?” he replies, still not looking at me, and I breathe deeply.
“Why would you do something like this, Marcos?”
“Because it’s fair?”he asks, finally raising his gaze and giving me his full attention, for the first time since we met again this morning, really focusing his eyes on mine.
That nagging sensation settles into my spine again, but I ignore it, even if it feels like we spend too much time staring at each other silently and purposelessly.
His answer makes me want to grunt.I mean, could he have been vaguer than that?
But following my own resolutions, I say the exact opposite of what I would like.I’m too close now to ruin everything for lack of patience.I mean, the universe tried in every way to warn Asshole Marcos that marrying me was a bad idea for him, that I’m definitely not what he’s looking for, and yet here we are.
If with all the signs, he refused to see, it will not be me to raise a flashing light sign warning him. No, I will keep my character sweet, or at least as sweet as I am able to pretend to be, for I am also not obliged to play the poor helpless girl.I was never that girl, and after all, it wouldn’t make sense for me to be.
“I don’t understand...” I turn my eyes away from his.
“In two years, Isabella’s life will be turned upside down, I know it, I know it’s not right for her, and despite that, I will. The least I can do for her is make it up to her somehow.Fourteen years is a long time, the deposits made over all that time will pay off, and when she can access it, she’ll be able to do and be whatever she wants...”
“You don’t have to do this...”
“I know, but I want to.”
“Thank you, thank you very much.” These are the sincerest words I’ve said to Marcos since he first spoke to me.
“You have nothing to thank me for, Antonella.I told you this marriage would be as convenient for you as it is for me, and it will be.The next two years don’t have to be difficult.They should be easy, easier than any you’ve ever lived through.I promise to do everything in my power to do this, and in return, I only ask that you be you.And let me show you off to some people.”
I bite my lip.He has no idea how easy some of the years I’ve lived have been or what he’s asking about being myself, when that’s the opposite extreme of what he wants.I almost feel sorry for him, almost.But life is too difficult to put anyone else’s interests in front of mine or Isabella’s on the rare occasions when I have the chance to choose.
I don’t have the nerve to say yes with all the letters.I just shake my head up and down, nodding silently.
“Do you have any questions?”
“Actually, I’d like to ask you something.” My heart races in my chest, that’s a very important request.
“If it’s within my capability.”
“It is. I want a job at Valente” I say at once and see Marcos frown. “I mean, not now, not in a few months, but when I graduate.There’s still some time left.Three years, actually, but I would really like to intern at Valente & Camil and subsequently be hired. I know that…”
“Wait, graduate?” interrupts my speech, and I swallow hard, putting into practice the best representation I am able to do to look embarrassed. “The books, they’re yours...”
“What?”
“The law books in your apartment, I saw them yesterday and wondered whose they were... They are yours.”
I nod, confirming.
“That morning, when I met you, I had arrived early to use your library. I do that sometimes, you have a lot of books I couldn’t buy” I tell him a piece of the truth, since that’s all I can offer.
It’s Marcos’ turn to shake his head, agreeing.
“Why didn’t you tell me you were in college? Damn, could I have been more of a douche with you, Antonella? I don’t think so…”
