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“Junie—”
“That wasn’t me being bitchy, Luna. I’m legit happy for you and my brother. You two deserve happiness more than anyone I know. Gavin is so different with you back in his life, and I love it. I’ll always be grateful to you for giving my brother happiness and the life he always wanted.”
“I’m the one that’s grateful, Junie. Losing Gavin the way I did nearly destroyed me. I was only existing before he came back, and I didn’t even know it,” she says and for just the merest of seconds a darkness flashes across her face, and if I had any doubts that she was telling the truth—which I absolutely don’t—I would know it just by looking at her.
“You two are really lucky. Love isn’t that easy for everyone, Luna.”
“I wouldn’t exactly call mine and Gavin’s love storyeasy, Junie,” she replies gently, reminding me of the hell they’ve been through.
“True, I’m sorry. I just meant, not everyone gets a happy ever after.”
“Maybe, maybe not. Maybe some give up too soon,” she replies with a pointed look at me.
“Luna, I’ve spent most of my life with men who never put me first and hurt me. I don’t want that anymore. I’d rather be alone.”
“Ben, hurt you?” she asks, clearly not believing it and I sigh.
“Not physically, but there are other ways to hurt someone, Luna.”
“I get that, I do. But I know Ben, and I absolutely, positively know that he wouldn’t be putting the moves on you if he wasn’t serious. That’s just not who he is. I also know he’d never intentionally hurt you.”
“Putting the moves on me?” I laugh. My sister-in-law rolls her eyes at me, and I just shake my head. “Luna, he didn’t do it intentionally, but he still did and with my history… I’m just not sure I can get over it,” I tell her with a shrug.
“Are you going to tell me what he did?” she asks, and I sigh. That’snota conversation I want to have with Luna. Besides, it would feel like betraying Ben in some way. No man wants his ex to know how vulnerable she left him. I hang around more men than women, and I know how their minds work. Hell, it would be the same with me.
“Nope,” I tell her plainly and not elaborating.
“Fine, then I’ll just leave you with one last word of advice.”
“If you must,” I tell her, conjuring up a smile so she won’t know how much this conversation unnerves me. It hurts, even if maybe it shouldn’t.
“Good men are hard to find. I’ve been lucky enough to have two in my life. Even when Ben and I were together, I never saw him so completely engrossed in a woman. Don’t get me wrong, he was good to me, and I was happy. But...I never got that look from him that you do.”
“What look?” I ask, for some reason weirdly nervous to hear her answer.
“The type of look a man gives a woman when she walks into a room and everyone else ceases to exist for him. You’re fooling yourself, Junie, if you think he isn’t doing that. Maybe your past is messing with your head so much that you can’t see the forest for the trees,” she says, and my heart stutters in my chest as hope takes root, even if it shouldn’t. Then, I quickly squash it out.
“It doesn’t matter, Luna. Besides, I’ve not heard from Ben in a few days.”
I haven’t either, which is just as well—at least that’s what I tell myself. After the barbecue, he texted me when I got home, teasing me. He texted me to tell me goodnight later, and then for two days he texted several times through the day. I didn’t respond, and on day three… they just stopped. It’s been over a week now and he’s been silent. I know I ignored him, but if I really mattered, like Luna said, wouldn’t he have tried harder?
God, I’m a freak. Even I understand how self-absorbed that sounds. I’m trying to make him jump through hoops and no man is going to do that for a woman…
“Then, maybe it’s time you should make the first move, Junie,” she suggests, and I frown.
Do I really want to do that?Shit. What would happen if I do? I sigh and go back to work rubbing down the bar while Luna changes the subject to a safer topic of a shopping spree she and Meghan are working on dragging me to. I listen and reply when I need to, but the entire time I’m wondering if I should break down and message Ben. Am I being too stubborn? Am I letting the experiences of my past keep me from finding happiness with a good man?
Unfortunately, all I have are questions, because I don’t have any answers.
Ben
I’ve given Junie space again. It wasn’t in my plan, but after Gavin’s talk, I needed to think about things. I’m not repeating my past mistakes. I could give up Junie, but I’m starting to think that is not an option. This girl is in my blood. That means I’m going to have to have an honest talk with her and see exactly what is going on in her head.
All of that might explain why I’m here at Junie’s bar tonight. Then again, it probably doesn’t. Maybe the simple truth is that I can’t make myself stay away from her. I am surprised, however, when I go in and I don’t see Junie anywhere. She’s usually always here on a Saturday night. I skipped Joshua’s football game last night, which means I didn’t see her. What if she’s sick?Shit. She lives alone. She might need someone—
I don’t get the thought out before she walks over to my table. She looks good. Black jeans, soft orange top, hair down, and light makeup. No frills, just simplicity and it looks fucking fantastic, but then, that’s Junie. She’s never tried to be anything other than who she is. Fuck, how I wish I could’ve met her at a different time in her life… mine too for that matter.
“You’ve been hiding, Sheriff,” she says, immediately calling me on my shit.
