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“You are strong, Nova. Fearless, and one of the toughest women I have ever met. But you are also dealing with a desperate man. And that makes him dangerous. Do you have the knife I gave you?”
I pointed to the pile of clothes on the floor, the knife lying next to my panties. “I always carry it.”
We gathered our clothes and dressed, the mood growing somber as the minutes passed. I didn’t want him to leave, but I knew that he had to. Valik would be back any second and God help us if he came searching for me. I would have to find a way to get him to lay off, and I mentioned that to Cian.
“He’s trying to keep you safe.” Cian’s jaw clenched. “So let him. I’ll find a way to get to you; I always do. Remember, Nova, I’m always around, even if you can’t see me.”
We said our goodbyes and he left quietly through the back door. I waited downstairs for Valik to come back, not in any rush to go home to an empty apartment—or, worse, to Ryzen’s. Having these moments with Cian, no matter how brief, were like a lifeline, one that I needed to cling to keep my sanity. There was no denying the connection we had. The things he said… oh, God, it was all enough to make me weak in the knees. There was so much happening at once, but one thing I knew for sure: I was falling madly in love with him, and that scared the shit out of me. After everything we had gone through, I hoped I was enough for him. That once Ryzen was locked away in prison we would have a fighting chance. That it wasn’t just lust-filled sex, and our need for revenge wasn’t the glue holding us together. Only time would tell.
The night dragged on, slow and boring, which was a nice change of pace. I texted Ryzen that I was safe at home, that I missed him today, and even sent a kissy face emoji to lay it on extra thick for him. He loved the attention. My fake adoration for him was fueling his ego, and it was obvious. And grossing me out beyond belief.
I smelled my shirt—it smelled just like Cian, and I decided I was going to sleep in it. Valik knocked on my door right when I was about to sleep, and I popped it open, hand on my hip. “You aren’t staying out in the hallway all night, are you?” His face turned a shade of pink, and I shook my head. “Why don’t you come inside if you’re so intent on staying?”
“Oh, no, Mr. Goodacre would not like that. I’ll be fine out here.” He plopped down in the metal chair, and I rolled my eyes.
“I don’t like you being uncomfortable all night, Valik. I’m going to talk to Ryzen. I don’t need a babysitter twenty-four seven.” I walked down the hall and grabbed the throw blanket from the back of the couch. “Here, at least take this.” He hesitated, and I tossed it in his lap. “Don’t be stubborn, you big moose.”
I would talk to Ryzen tomorrow and have him pull Valik off my day and night duty. It was too much. Suffocating and unsettling. I knew Cian was supportive of the idea of Valik being around, but if I was going to get the evidence that I needed, I couldn’t have Valik being my shadow twenty-four seven.
*****
I went to Jules’ apartment for breakfast the next morning. There was no need to go to that shit-hole office every day, and the fewer rats I had to deal with, the better. We put our phones in the freezer, and I caught her up with what the FBI had said.
“Did you show them the hair? That’s so creepy.” She shivered.
“That’s what I told them. Cian had a weird look on his face, but he didn’t tell me anything else about it. I think he might be hiding something.”
“Oh, boy. Not the trust issues again.”
I shook my head and took a bite of my croissant. “No, not like that. I mean… maybe he didn’t want to say something he was unsure of.” I shrugged, “I’ll ask him next time I see him.”
“And how are things going between you guys otherwise?”
My skin heated as I thought back to our last moments together.
“You’re blushing!” She chuckled and leaned forward. “Tell me all the details.”
And I did, because that was what you did with your best friend. You told them all about the mind-blowing sex you’d had with the sexiest man you had ever been with. By the time I was done, she was fanning herself, and whistled.
“Damn, I don’t think I’ll be able to look him in the eyes next time I see him.” She chuckled. “So this is actual love? Like looove love?”
I nibbled on my bottom lip, and nodded. “I think so. Everything is a mess, but he… he makes it all a little less messy.”
“Do yourself a favor. Tell him.” She squeezed my hand. “Don’t do what you always do and hold your feelings inside. After everything you’ve told me, you can bet your sweet ass he feels the same way.”
“I’m scared, Jules.” I squeezed her hand back.
“Nova, it’s a good thing. I mean, I know we’re in a total shitstorm right now and everything around us is bonkers, but… it’ll work out.” She held up her fingers in our secret code, and I did the same. “It always does.”
On the way home, I had Valik stop at Mr. Sprinkle Kings. Ever since I had confessed to Juliet that I had eaten her marshmallow fluff, there was this feeling of guilt stabbing me in the back of my head. I ordered four cartons of fluff and three boxes of marshmallows. It was overkill, but I knew Jules would love it.
The camera Delove had given me was burning a hole in my pocket. I knew I had to get it into Ryzen’s office, but wasn’t sure how I was going to be able to do that. Maybe it wasn’t going to be that hard—just show up for lunch, leave it in there, and we’d be good to go.
We drove past our old office, and I had Valik stop so I could get out. A “for lease” sign hung in the window, and I traced my fingers over it and sighed. If only things had been different. If I hadn’t moved into Goodacre Estates, if I had just found a way to not sign the contract… but wishing wasn’t going to make it go away or make it better.
“OK, look.” I walked over to where Valik was leaning against the SUV. “I’m going to grab an iced coffee from my favorite place down the street, and then I’m going to that park”—I pointed over his shoulder—“so that I can lie in the sun and get centered. You stay put. I don’t want to see your face for the next hour. Got it?” I tilted my head to the side and gave him a pointed look. “I mean that in the nicest way possible. But I need space.”
He chuckled and gave me a salute. I punched his shoulder for mocking me, since I was the one who had been saluting him since we had met. “Don’t touch those marshmallows or Juliet will kick your ass. She’s feisty, don’t let her fool you.”
