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When he’s looking at me like that, it’s hard to remember how much older he is.
“Well,” I daintily say, swaying my hips exaggeratedly as I walk over to the elevator and push the button. I don’t speak again until the elevator pings and the door opens. “If you can’t work it out, I guess I’ll have to.”
Kai narrows his eyes, no longer looking so cocksure. “What does that mean?”
I plaster on a fake smile, and sing-song, “Whatever do you think it means, husband? If the three of you can’t work out your differences, I’ll choose.” I would be lying if I said I’m not at least a little pleased that they all look shaken at my words. “If I can’t have you all, I’m not selfless enough to just let you go. Oh, no, I’m selfish enough to keep at least one of you.” I lift my hand and wave at them just as the elevator door closes.
Idon’tknowwhereI expected my dad… Alexander—shit, I don’t even know what to call him anymore—to take me. But if I’d given it any thought, a house so near my beloved beach I can hear the gentle rolls of the waves wouldn’t be it. However, the more I allow myself to think back on the man I once knew, the less surprising it is. After all, he’s the one who instilled the love of the ocean in me.
When I was a kid, he insisted we’d go to the beach as often as possible. Not only was it the place he did his best thinking, it was also the place he felt most alive—or so he told me. The only reason I can think of for having forgotten that is that since I entered the maze the first time, I didn’t really give myself permission to think much about the life I once had.
“I was surprised when I got your text this morning,” my dad admits, carving a hand through his shaggy, salt and pepper hair.
An uncomfortable silence fills the air when I don’t answer him. While I try to look unbothered, I’m anything but. The tone of his voice is surprisingly gentle, caring even, and it’s throwing me off my game.
When I texted him, I had every intention of asking Liam to come with me. Though, that didn’t seem like such a brilliant idea after what went down at my apartment.
Maybe I shouldn’t have texted my dad to pick me up sooner than we’d originally planned. I just couldn’t stand another moment in the place I used to love. Not now when it’s filled with dark memories of hurt.
First, it’s where Liam and I were smoked out—so to speak—before I was auctioned off.
Second, it’s where Gus lost his shit.
Now, third and final, it’s where Liam and Kai attacked Gus.
Swirling a lock of hair around a finger, I’m pondering if it wouldn’t be a good thing to move in with Kai sooner rather than later. It would give us a fresh start. Then again, we were all poisoned in the room that’s meant to be the safest place in our society.
“Acacia?” Dad’s voice slices through my thoughts, and I look up to find his gaze resting on me.
I shake my head. “Sorry, I missed what you said.” Even though it’s petty, I try to sound aloof, like I’m not interested enough to give him my full attention. Which is beyond stupid since I’m the one who asked to meet. So I square my shoulders and swallow all my negative feelings towards the man in front of me. “I don’t know how to be around you.”
He nods, like he’s trying to convey that it’s understandable, and it… annoys me. I don’t want to sit and have a cordial discussion. I want to know how the fuck he could abandon me, and… and selfishly let me grieve him while he apparently still watched me from a distance.
At the same time, I don’t want to talk about that either.
“I can see the anger on your face, dove—”
Before he can finish, I spit, “Don’t call me that. You don’t get to just waltz back into my life after all these years, and use that nickname like nothing happened. You let me believe you died. You allowed me to weep for you…” I trail off as emotions cause my throat to close up.
I. Am. Not going to be weak or vulnerable in front of him.
“And you have every right to be angry with me. I deserve it,” he prattles on, completely ignoring my outburst.
“Glad you approve.” I’m feeling very accomplished when no emotions leak out and into my tone. Then I close my eyes and force myself to breathe deeply while I mentally count to ten. I need to keep a calm head around him. Not just for myself, but for… for Nikolaos, and for my mom. They both taught me to act better than this. “I didn’t come here to spar with you, verbally or otherwise. I came to get answers, and I’m not leaving without them.”
Again, he nods. “That seems fair.”
Before I can stop myself, I scoff. “Nothing about this is fair. But if you really think so, please enlighten me. Where’s the fairness in a daughter being heartbroken because both her parents are dead? Taken from her world almost simultaneously?”
“I thought you said you weren’t here to spar with me,” he says, a sad smile lingering on his lips. “I merely meant that it’s fair that you want answers. However, that doesn’t mean I can give you what you want.”
Why does every word he speaks irk me like nails on a chalkboard? It’s like his every breath is offensive, and I can’t stop myself from pointing it out. Maybe I really do need to yell at him, get it out of my system. But… do I want him to know how much I’m holding in? How much I’m fighting myself not to lunge at him, and hurt him like he’s hurt me—like he’sstillhurting me.
Fuck… I really wish I’d brought Liam instead of being so hasty. My level headed consort would be able to help me hold myself together, and to not let my emotions get the better of me. On the flip-side, if I did give in to the vortex of my emotions, he wouldn’t hold it against me.
“I get that you’ve kept an eye on me, but that doesn’t mean you know me. Not really. Maybe you’ve heard things, but that doesn’t give you the right to act like you know who I am anymore. Just because we share blood… just because we’ve run from traps in the same maze… that means nothing. You don’t know me, Alexander.” My breath saws out of me as I scream the last part.
My dad’s mask finally slips, and his eyes shine with unshed tears. “It wasn’t my choice—”
