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“Um.” She floundered for an answer. “I’m young. Only thirty-four. I’m not in a big rush to reproduce. I’m not even in a serious relationship. Dating and family can wait a few years. I want to settle into my career first.”
“You young girls, you’re all alike. Putting off babies until your eggs dry up.” She made a tsking sound.
“Mom. Stop!” Zander barked. “Heather is my guest. We’re not planning on having kids. Heather’s family plans are private. Give it a rest.”
Beth sighed. “Fine. I’m just saying .…”
“Mom!” he warned. “Drop it.”
Heather didn’t know whether to laugh or cry. She was mortified. She kept telling herself she wasn’t interested in him, but his dismissal of their relationship was a jab to her ego. Apparently to her heart, it didn’t matter that their relationship was fake.
Holy hockey socks! She was falling for him!She nearly grabbed her heart in shock. She wanted more. They clicked and got along well. Her heart beat faster when he was near. He made her feel like she could do anything.Jumping jackrabbits. She was in trouble.
“Fine,” Beth said. “I won’t say anything else, but you kids need to know that I’m not getting any younger. I want grandkids before I’m too old to play with them. And look at sweet Ella, she’s the perfect age to babysit for you.”
“Mom. Stop!” Jacob growled.
“I second that.” Tyson stabbed his fork into a rib.
Zander reached over and smoothed Heather’s tense fingers. “Relax,” he whispered, “She’s harmless. You’re safe from the marriage trap.”
Marriage trap? Was that what he really thought of getting married? Was he that against it? Somehow, she had the impression that he wasn’t opposed to marriage, just not ready yet. Crazy. She extracted her hands from his and picked up her fork and ate some potatoes and gravy.
“This is delicious, Beth.” It was probably tasty, but it landed in her stomach like ball bearings.
The conversation morphed to the food and there was less chatter as everyone ate, but her mind was stuck on the idea of a relationship with Zander. She wasn’t looking for a man, but somewhere deep in the back of her mind, she must have been considering him for the role. It was disappointing and a bit hurtful that he totally wrote her off as a partner. This whole fake dating and hiding even that from her bosses was a colossal mistake. She could almost count the minutes until it failed catastrophically.
Chapter 14
“That was brutal,” Zander said as he walked Heather home. King trotted beside them, sniffing every post they passed. “Mom was pushy tonight. She isn’t usually that bad.” He paused to look at Heather. She walked along, her eyes straight to the front. She didn’t seem angry, just not right somehow. She was exceptionally quiet, responding when spoken to, but not offering anything extra to the conversation.
“Mom has never made any bones about wanting grandkids, but tonight was over the top. I’m sorry.”
“It’s okay. I’ve seen her around the innsuggestingthat Jacob and Lexi have a child. I should have expected her to comment since she thinks we’re dating.”
“That doesn’t mean she can try and force us into a future together. I’m not ready to actually date anyone. I don’t have time for that.”
“But don’t you think about it? Don’t you think about a family of your own?” she sounded frustrated. “I’m not ready either, but I know that a husband and family are in my not too-distant future.”
Her words burrowed deep into his chest like a worm into an apple, spoiling his contentment with life. Did he want a family of his own? Could he handle taking care of his mother and siblings, and a wife and child? He would like a son, someday. One with his light brown hair. An image formed in his mind. Him, holding his son’s hand as they walked down the street. Only instead of his own brown eyes, the boy had Heather’s ocean-blue ones. He almost stumbled. Painful longing grew in his chest.
“Someday, I’ll have a son,” he said, his voice cracked with yearning. He faked a cough, so she’d think it was the cough that altered his voice, not emotion.
“I think you’ll be a wonderful father. You’re great with Ella and you take such good care of your siblings.” She grabbed his hand and squeezed as if emphasizing her words. They kept walking, hands entwined.
“Thanks.” He cleared his throat. “What about you? How many kids?”
“I think that depends on my husband. At this point, my work hours are long and sometimes erratic. I need a man who can take care of our littles when I’m at work. Someone to share the load of raising a family, of doing housework, of being a partner. He’ll need to be able to help around the house, handle a full family load, and have a decent job. Kids aren’t cheap and it takes a solid partnership to raise them. I’ll need a man who can compromise because balancing his needs, my needs, and our children’s needs is going to take a lot of work. For both of us.”
Me, his mind screamed.I could be that man. I know how to handle a family and work. I can compromise. He clamped his lips together to keep the words in. What was he thinking? He barely knew Heather and somehow, out of the blue, he was imagining the rest of his life with her. From wedding bells, through kids and retirement, to sitting on the front porch in rocking chairs watching the world go by.Holy crap!The weirdest part was the idea didn’t terrify him.
“I probably expect too much. But for me, marriage and children require effort and cooperation.”
Finally, he managed to say, “I think it’s good that you know what you want. And that you’re willing to compromise with whoever you choose. That’s admirable.”
“Thanks. I think a relationship requires give and take from everyone involved. Raising kids won’t be easy. It will take a partnership with the right man.” She paused on the sidewalk beside the truck he’d left in front of her building before dinner. “My roommate is away for a couple days,” she said. “Did you want to come up for a coffee or something?”
“I’d like that.” He hadn’t realized until she asked the question that he wasn’t ready to part from her. He wanted to spend more time with her and learn more about her. Heather was by far and away, the most interesting woman he’d met in a long time. Maybe years. She’d handled his family well. She hadn’t freaked out when Derrick lost his temper. She’d talked with everyone, including Ella. She could have snapped at his mother when she asked about grandchildren, but she had handled the situation with calm and aplomb. Impressive.
