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Not really, but I read Great-Grandma Dori’s notes on the mission board. How they had to twist my mom’s arm to get her to admit her feelings for my dad. She had way too many hang-ups because he was four years younger and her twin brothers’ best friend. But I’m not telling her about the mission boards yet. Maybe ever.
“Everyone is cautious when it comes to the heart. Especially when I had all this on my shoulders to keep our family afloat.” She motions around the office. “Everyone was relying on me, and I didn’t see where a personal life would fit in. Your dad showed me how that was possible and that I needed him to love me. The lust between us became love and there was no turning back.” She gets that soft expression she always does whenever she talks about my dad.
“That’s the thing, Mom. I didn’t shy away from love and look where it got me.”
She blows out a long breath. Concern glints in her eyes. “Brinley, I told your dad the night of Sawyer’s funeral how worried I was about you. Up until then, nothing bad ever happened to you. Sure, you grew up without your grandparents, but you had Dori until well after you became an adult. I think, in some ways, that made you think it was a good idea to get married so young. I know you were happy with Sawyer and loved him. I know, sweetie. But I think you thought that you two would live happily ever after and nothing bad would ever happen. You guys bought that ridiculously expensive house without much forethought on what it would take to keep it running or what would happen if the market changed, then it all crashed down around you. And what happened to Sawyer was awful, the worst thing that could happen. But for four years, I’ve watched you just stand still and not move forward. My biggest fear for you that night has come true, and I wish I could turn it around for you.”
I abruptly stand. “Jeez, Mom, you make it sound like I’m damaged goods.”
“You’re not damaged goods. You just don’t believe in anything that can only be felt anymore. If I had a glass ball and saw a future with you and someone else, you’d probably go for that man, but since no one can predict the future, you’d rather stay holed up, alone.” She straightens her legs and slides her feet into her heels. “Your dad and I are going out tonight. Want to join us?”
I shake my head. “No, I’m going to go work out and then home, so I can come back for another shift here.”
She walks over to me and rests her hands on my shoulders, staring into my eyes. “I love you, sweetie, and I just want you to be happy. Tell me to stay out of your business, and I will.”
“Stay out of my business,” I say, tilting my head with a smirk.
“I’m sorry.” She cringes. “I just can’t. You’re my baby.”
“I thought Asher was your baby.”
She shrugs. “He’s off at college, hopefully not sowing too many wild oats. I have no interest in being a grandma quite yet.” She laughs, her forehead falling against mine. “I love you.”
“I love you too, and I’ll admit, Van is very attractive. But he’s hiding something. I just can’t figure out what it is.”
She tucks a strand of my hair behind my ear. “Have you told him everything?” Her eyebrows rise.
“No.”
“Well then, maybe he senses that you’re not being one-hundred-percent open and letting him in. Of course he’ll close himself off a little.”
“We’re roommates,” I say, and she laughs again.
“Anyone in the room with you two knows there’s much more than shared rent between you.” She kisses my forehead. “Now you made me all sappy and yearning for your father, so I gotta go.”
“Mom,” I groan.
“Oh, grow up, Brin, you know your dad and I have sex.” She’s at the door, her hand on the knob. “And you should be having sex too. If anything, just for fun.” She eyes me over her shoulder and walks out.
I plop into my chair. “Why does everyone have an opinion about my sex life?”
On my way home from the office, my aunt Cleo calls, so I answer it on Bluetooth.
“Hi, Aunt Cleo.”
“Hey, Brin. How are things?”
“Good.”
“We’re planning a trip down to the ice cave next month. I’ll put you on the list.”
“Is this the singles thing?” I hit the button on the steering wheel to increase the volume a bit.
She laughs. “Oh, I forgot! Rumor has it you already have someone, huh?”
“Where’d you hear that?” BuzzWheel, I’m sure.
“Does it matter? What’s he like?”
