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“Hey,” he says. “What are you doing here?”
“You lied to me.”
His eyes widen.
“You told me you’d catch me.” I repeat his words that day in his truck when we first had sex. “Actually, you promised. Then you just left. I didn’t even get to say anything. So, I’m here for some answers.”
He opens his mouth, closes it, and opens it again. “I told you already. It’s pretty clear.”
“Your job is risky, and I’m pretty sure you knew that when you signed up for it.”
“Brinley.” He shakes his head.
I put up my hand. “You don’t get to decide our fate alone. I get a say too. And I’m ready to move on with my life. I want a life with you. I want to wake up with you next to me. Fall asleep on your chest. I want you to plan dates that push me out of my element. Mostly, I just want you in my life, and I’m willing to take you however I can have you.”
He walks to me, but I put my hand on his chest.
“But not if you’re broken. Not if every time you look at me, you see your own failures. I can’t let you live like that.” Tears prick my eyes.
“Brin,” he says my name with desperation.
“You’re an incredible man, and any woman would be lucky to have you. I desperately want to be her, but that’s up to you.” I run my hand over his heart. “You gave me my life back and I want to give you yours, but I can’t force you. I put all my stuff with Sawyer away, donated all of it except for a small box. I told my mom I didn’t want to take over Bailey Timber, that I want to draw. I have no idea how I’ll support myself, but at least I’ll love what I do.”
“I signed the papers. I reenlisted,” he admits, looking forlorn.
“Being together doesn’t mean we have to be in the same town. You’re worth trying long distance for. That’s not a deal breaker for me unless it is for you. So, I’m going to leave here, but I’m leaving the door open. Please only step through it if you’re one hundred percent in this and you forgive yourself for what happened that night. I already have, though there was nothing to forgive in the first place.” I rise on my tiptoes and place a kiss on his lips. “Goodbye, Van.”
I turn and walk away back to my rental car. He doesn’t come from behind the house, and I start the car. I wait, hoping he’ll come, but he never does. I thought he might need more time, and I’m prepared to wait. So I drive back to the airport, with faith that the man I fell in love with will come to his senses.
A week later, I’m at Lucky’s with Easton and Lance. Lance is talking about how he’s finally decided to buy a condo in New York. Although he’ll come to visit a lot, we won’t be seeing him nearly as much as we’re used to. Then again, when Easton is in season, we don’t see him very much either.
“Are you going to look up Kenzie?” I ask.
Lance shakes his head. “That’s over. She’s getting married, right?”
Easton remains quiet, but I don’t think it’s because he still has feelings for Kenzie. I think he just feels uncomfortable talking about how it all went down between the three of them.
“Yeah, I think next year, maybe?”
I haven’t heard from her except for an “I’m so sorry” text when she saw on BuzzWheel that Van had left town. She didn’t even call to see why he’d left or how I was doing, but that’s been our friendship since she moved to New York. She moves in different circles now.
“Enough about that. So still no word from Van, huh?” Easton asks.
I shake my head. “I’m still holding out faith. It’s not like there’s a time limit. I just want him to heal.”
“Man, I never thought I’d see the day when you’d have all your shit together.” I pick up a pretzel and throw it at Lance. He dodges and says, “But it’s really nice to see.”
“I signed up for a few art classes and my dad’s working with me now, although he’s more of a freestyler. He asked if I wanted to take over Smokin’ Guns when the time came, said that I could work under him and learn to tattoo.”
Both of them look at one another and back to me. “Really?” they say in unison.
I nod because I’m really thinking about it. I think I might actually enjoy it. Once I know what the heck I’m doing.
“I feel like I’m sitting with the teenage version of you,” Lance says with a smile.
“Me too.” I shake my head and tip back my beer.
The door to the bar opens, and a cold breeze flows through the space. Goose bumps rise on my arms. The silence that blankets the room alerts me that something is up, so I turn to see what.
