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“I’m sorry,” I said.
She smiled sadly. “I’m so exhausted. All that stuff with Luke earlier, it just…drained me, I guess. And I have to be up early, so I need to get to bed.”
“Is he doing better?”
She nodded. “They gave him something intravenously for the headache and something to help relax him. He’s sleeping.”
“I’m here if you need anything. Except that I’m going on a road trip tomorrow. But if you need to talk, call me anytime.”
A tiny worry wrinkle appeared between her brows. “Please don’t tell anyone what I told you. That’s Luke’s private medical information and I don’t want the whole world knowing about it.”
“I understand. I won’t tell anyone—you have my word.”
“Thanks,” she said softly. “Have a good trip.”
I gently squeezed her shoulder. “I’m here if you need me.”
She nodded, turned away, and walked to her door. I watched her until she was inside, and then I unlocked my own door.
I sat down on my couch, staring into the darkness as I processed what Elle had just told me. Now that I knew what was driving her, I understood her a lot better.
And, for better or worse, I wanted her more than ever.
CHAPTERFOURTEEN
Elle
“Smells like pancakes,”Luke said when he walked into the kitchen from his bedroom.
“Because I made pancakes,” I said from the couch.
“What time it is? Why aren’t you at work?”
I set down the book I was reading on the couch. “I took the day off.”
His expression turned guilty. “You didn’t need to do that. I know last night was rough, but I’m fine now.”
Last night had been more than rough for me. I hadn’t realized how traumatic it would be to see my brother having one of his episodes again. It had been a few years since I’d been around him enough to see one. Last night had been a mix of terror and worry for me. Of wanting to run away and being relieved that I was there to take care of him at the same time.
“I love you, Luke,” I said gently.
“Here we go. Can I just eat some pancakes and go workout?”
I stood and walked into the kitchen. “You need to see a doctor.”
He scoffed. “How many doctors have I seen over the years, Elle? At least thirty. Not one of them helped me. You know what they all said—if I have CTE, there’s no treatment.”
“There’s counseling.”
He poured a mug of coffee and took a drink before responding.
“Look, I know you mean well, but talking about my headaches and mood swings isn’t going to make them go away.”
“No, but maybe it’ll help you cope. You’ve been coping in unhealthy ways and if you don’t get help, it’s only a matter of time before you turn to something unhealthy again.”
“Thanks for the tip, Dr. Phil.”
I went over to the stove, where he was piling pancakes onto a plate. Luke had been struggling for years, but he had always failed to recognize how hard it was for his family to walk this road with him.
