AllFreeNovel
Share Us
“Appreciate it.” I headed inside.
In the kitchen, I got plates out of the cabinet and set the table. Once that was out of the way, I pulled condiments from the fridge and put those on the table too. Then I grabbed veggies and lettuce from the crisper. As I was peeling and chopping carrots, Ben ambled inside.
“Need any help?”
“Not from you.”
“Look, I’m sorry, all right? Evan’s death has hit me hard. I didn’t mean to take my frustrations and grief out on you.” He appeared remorseful, but I wasn’t ready to completely forgive him.
“Are you still of the opinion that I caused Evan to take his own life?” I asked, studying his reaction.
“Fuck.” Ben winced and shook his head with a hearty sigh. “No. I shouldn’t have said that. It was wrong of me, and I apologize.”
“Because it was a shitty thing to say to someone you just met? Or because you know deep down I had nothing to do with it?”
“The latter. Or fuck, both, actually. I shouldn’t have said that at all. I’m sorry.”
“Well, that’s something.” At least he was being earnest.
Agony splashed across Ben’s handsome face. “I just don’t get why he would—”
“Why he would what?” I fought the urge to go to him and hug him. The guy was clearly in a bad spot. And who could blame him? He’d lost his best friend. Anyone would be fumbling through it.
Ben stared for a minute before answering my question. “Send a letter for you and there not be one expressly for me.”
“And I’m wondering the reverse.” I shrugged. “We could ponder the whys and wherefores until kingdom come, but the only person who can answer those questions is gone. Unless you find a medium and do a séance, but that’s stretching it a bit.”
Ben scowled and stared like I had lost my mind. “Not in this lifetime.”
“Well, then, stop trying to figure out the impossible. I’m sorry for your loss. Truly, I am. I know you two were tight.” My heart ached for him. Even as I tried to ignore the sizzling attraction between us.
“We were.”
“Why weren’t you guys with him on his latest deployment?” It was better to stick to topics revolving around Evan. If I kept it that way, I would remember that Ben was off-limits. He was Evan’s best friend, and he’d been an ass. Those two items should disqualify him from my bed.
“He’d been promoted and assigned to a new squad. We’re all getting new assignments.” Ben leaned against the kitchen island as I started chopping bell peppers and adding them to the lettuce.
“Oh? Are you retiring?”
“No. Wyatt will hit his twenty years in three months and plans to retire. James and Aiden are being assigned command positions with a new squad. Lucas is being assigned to the Pentagon. And I’m two years out from my twenty. I’ll be working out of SEAL headquarters in Virginia, training new recruits.”
“So no more deployments for you?” I asked, chopping up a cucumber. I was more interested than I cared to admit.
“Only if we end up in a war. But for the most part, no. My days of being deployed are at an end.”
“Are you happy about that? Because it doesn’t sound like you are.”
“I’m not unhappy about it. But everything’s changed overnight. I’ve spent the vast majority of the past eighteen years overseas. It’s strange being back and knowing I’m likely here for the duration.”
“Well, do you want the job you’re taking, or do you want to go on fighting?”
“No, I’m done. Or at least, my body is. I injured my left knee half a dozen years ago. It’s never been right since. And now, at my age, I’ve got some serious arthritis in that knee. It’s making me a liability in the field.”
“Leg injuries blow. Did Evan ever tell you I was training to be a ballerina?”
“No, he never mentioned it. Why didn’t you do that instead of—”
“Taking my clothes off on stage? I taught myself to dance until I was in middle school. I had a teacher who noticed how good I was and helped get me into a performing arts school. Since I was in foster care, I was admitted on a scholarship that made it free. I was good. I’d gotten accepted to Juilliard.”
