AllFreeNovel
Share Us
He holds it out to me. “Drink.”
I take it, taking just enough of the water to rinse out my mouth, then spit it on the floor after swishing it around. Some of it splashes on his muddy sneakers.
Good.
Burns makes an amused sound in the back of his throat. “I guess, if it’s a choice between you spitting my come or the water, it makes me happy knowing you swallowed straight from my cock.”
Does he have to put it like that? So I did. In the heat of the moment, I sucked every last drop of him I could get, as though I could get him to put the gun away by the power of my mouth on his dick alone.
Burns gets one look at my face and, just like that, his amusement is gone. It’s like a fucking switch, how quickly he can go from one mood to the next. Instead of teasing, he’s suddenly serious, looking down on me with an expression so different from the cold one he gave me as he ordered me to go to my knees.
I hate it. I fucking hate it. I don’t know which one is the real Burns. The protective hero who did what the other cops couldn’t, finally bringing Carter to justice, or the insatiable lover who obviously knows my history as a SA survivor and still pushes me farther and farther than anyone else ever has before? What about the nice guy cop? The bad guy captor? The broken, obsessed man who saw something in me he wanted andtookme because of it?
I don’t know. I’m not sure I’ll ever know.
He killed Carter for me, then decided his reward was to make me get to my knees. How is that any different than what Carter did to me? So far, I’ve managed to convince myself that letting him touch me, kiss me, taste me… those were things Carter wouldn’t have done. He just wanted to stick his dick in me, whether I wanted him to or not. Not Burns… it was never about him getting off until tonight. I might’ve stroked him off once before, but I made that choice. I took ownership in that moment.
Did I have any tonight? I want to believe that, if I held firm and refused, he would’ve backed off. He swore he would never force me, but he never said he wouldn’t manipulate the circumstances so that I’d say yes because saying no wasn’t really an option.
Like, say, when he has a gun to his head…
I still can’t believe he did that. Threatening Dean… that’s something I’d expect from Burns. Me going on that date with him is what set my cop off in the first place. He thought I was choosing another man and decided to take the choice out of my hand by making me his personal prisoner.
I never doubted for a moment that he could point a gun at me all day long and never shoot it. But when he pointed it at himself? I don’t want to examine too closelywhy, but that… that did something to me.
And why? Because he wanted me to finally get on my knees for him?
Without meeting his gaze, I hand the half-drunk cup of water back to Burns. He takes it, and I wordlessly turn my back on him. I tried my best to clean up the blood spatter on the cement floor while Burns was taking care of Carter’s body, but without bleach, I could only do so much. I purposely avoid looking at the part of the basement, instead heading right to the cot.
I lay down on my side. A second later, the cot dips, Burns stretched out behind me.
Because of course he is.
He sighs. “Fine. Be angry at me all you want. So long as you’re not angry at yourself.”
Of all the emotions running through me right now, anger at myself isn’t one of them. “Why would I be?”
“Because of the prick who attacked you. He deserved everything he got tonight, and you deserved to witness it. He can’t hurt you anymore.”
“He can’t,” I retort. “But what about you?”
Burns kisses the back of my neck. “I won’t. I swear I won’t.”
How can he honestly think I believe that? After what he just did?
And I’m not talking about his demanding head. The transactional side of our… whatever we have… makes it so that we have some kind of balance between us. Technically, he’s in control. Of course he is. He has the cuffs, the gun, the badge, and the lock on the door. He has my freedom in his hand. But he plays with me, letting me think I have some power.
Carter didn’t care what I wanted. Burns insists I want everything he does to me—and maybe what happened five years ago really fucked me up because, damn it, Ido. Something about the way he takes the choice out of my hand while also ensuring that I’m pleasured… that I’m not just used… is so different from my assault that, except for the last time Burns wanted me to blow him, I could keep the two separate.
Until tonight. Until he went a step too far with the gun.
The revelation that Burns isn’t a killer isn’t a surprise. Neither is finding out he’s the reason Brick disappeared. But how can he swear that he’ll never hurt me after the stunt he just pulled?
“Burns… you pulled your gun on me. You said you’d never hurt me, and you threatened to shoot me.”
“No, I didn’t.”
I stiffen. If there’s one thing I hate more than anything in this world, it’s some gaslighting me. I was there. I know what he did. He can’t tell me that he didn’twhen I was fucking there.
