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“I don’t feel good. I just want to die,” I said, tears running down my face.
I was in my safe space now, talking to my best friend, and I knew I was about to collapse emotionally.
“Oh my gosh, Callie. What’s wrong?”
“Nothing.” I sniffled. “What’s up? Why did you call? What are you up to?”
“Don’tnothingme.”
“I’m fine; it doesn’t matter.”
“What’s going on?” she said, her voice concerned.
“I slept with him, and he was just using me. He never cared about me.”
“What? Who? Who are you talking about?”
“Antonio,” I shouted. “Who else?”
“Antonio,” Imogen repeated, and then she gasped. “Not the guy you said was in the Mafia?”
“Yes.”
“Oh my gosh. You slept with a Mafia boss? Whoa.” The phone was quiet for what felt like an eternity. “I’m shook right now.”
“Imogen, now is not the time for you to be acting like some sort of drama queen wannabe Z-list actress or whatever.”
“I’m sorry,” she said, her voice quiet. “So it wasn’t good?” she inquired. “I can’t believe you’re no longer a virgin.”
“It was amazing,” I admitted, feeling ashamed. I wanted to lie and say I regretted every moment of it. I wanted to say that Antonio had been unimpressive. I wanted to say his penis had been so small, I’d barely felt anything. But the truth was the exact opposite. It had been the most amazing night of my life.
“So then why…” Imogen sounded confused, and I understood why. She didn’t know what had gone down. It was almost unbelievable.
“He was using me. He wanted to get back at my dad. He wanted revenge and to hurt me, and this was all a setup.” My voice was getting louder as my anger grew. “Valentina set me up. She made me go to that party so he could meet me, and then he flirted with me and…”
“I thought you said he was a jerk when you met him, though.”
“He was a jerk. What’s your point?”
“So, if he wanted to get into your pants, why wasn’t he nicer?”
I paused. “I don’t know. I don’t want to talk about it anymore.” I took a deep breath. The ground felt like it was spinning again. “I just need to sit down. I just need to forget.”
“Callie, you sound awful. I’m going to get a flight. I’m going to come to New York.”
“No, you have classes. You—”
“I’m coming,” she said firmly. “I’m going to see if I can get a flight tonight. I could be there tomorrow. I’ll take you for pancakes and cupcakes.”
I hiccupped through the tears that had sprung from my eyes. “You’re the one that likes cupcakes.”
“You like them, too.”
“Not as much as you.”
“I know.” She laughed. “But hey, we’ll just forget that asshole stuffing our faces with sugar. It’s going to be okay, Callie.”
“I don’t know if it will ever be okay. Why would he do that to me?” I sobbed. “Am I not a good person? Why would he use me to get his revenge?”
