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I let out a deep sigh, nodded, and walked out of the room. Antonio followed behind me and closed the door softly behind him.
“Thank you,” he said.
“Don’t thank me,” I said, looking back at him. “Thank my mom. It’s only because of her that I’m even going to give you a chance to explain yourself.”
“I know,” he said. “I’m glad you have your mama. For a couple of moments, I was kind of hoping that my mama was going to be alive as well.”
And that was when it hit me that he’d had hope that maybe his mom was still alive, and I could imagine how devastated he must have felt when he realized she wasn’t.
It was like he’d lost her all over again, and he’d lost Jimmy. I wasn’t going to console him. I didn’t want to be that person in his life. I didn’t want him to think he could treat me any way and that he could always get me back because that wasn’t the sort of person I wanted to be, but I wanted to show him some compassion.
We walked down the corridor toward his room, and he opened the door. We walked inside, and he closed it. “Going to make me take a lie detector test again?” I joked, and he just shook his head sadly.
“I wish we could go back to those days,” he said.
36
Antonio
My heart thudded as I stared at Callie. Her face was cold, and I could tell she had not forgiven me or was even that willing to listen to me.
“So out with it, Antonio,” she said. “What do you want to tell me?”
“I want to explain to you—”
“Explain what?” she cut me off. “Why you did it? I already know. My dad slept with your mom, and you blamed him for her death. But hey, we found out that it wasn’t even my dad that killed your mom. It was Tommasso Romano.”
“I know,” I said softly. “Everything I thought I knew was wrong.”
“Well, I’m with you there, buddy,” she said.
I grabbed her hands and pulled her toward me. “I know you’re upset with me. I just want to explain.”
“What do you want to explain, Antonio? Look what’s happened.” She started to cry. “I just feel so betrayed and hurt, and I don’t even know how I’m supposed to feel. My mom is back. My mom that I thought was dead. I just don’t understand how it’s possible. My heart breaks. If I’d known she was alive, I would’ve looked for her. Your father raped her. Do you hear what I’m saying, Antonio? My mother had a baby with your father, and not because she wanted to.” Her voice broke. “I know he was an evil man. He was, but I know you must be hurt that he’s dead, that—”
“I’m not,” I said, and it was true. I had no remorse that my father had been taken out. “What he did to your mother, what he did to my mother, what he did to Luisa, what he did to countless other women, it wasn’t right. He was an evil, evil man, and I was going to take him out myself anyway. I know that makes me sound cold and hard and…”
“I know you’ve killed people before,” she said. “And while that should disgust me, it doesn’t.” She shook her head. “Not if those people were evil.”
“When I found out that my mother had been having an affair with your father, I hated her,” I explained, “because I felt like she chose your father over me and Alessandro. But then when I found out that your father was driving that night and he crashed the car and left her dead so he could rush to his wife, I hated him. Every single emotion I had that was negative was reflected at him, and my entire life was built upon trying to get revenge.”
“I know,” she said, nodding. “And I do understand.”
“I know you understand, but I was wrong. Getting revenge on him, I was wrong.”
“Why?” she said.
“Because I shouldn’t have used you to make him pay for his sins. I knew that you were special—different—from the first time that I met you.” I lightly touched the side of her face. “I know these are just words to you right now, but I was attracted to you, your aura, your sense of humor, your beauty. From the first moment that I met you, you knocked me off my feet.”
“Sure,” she said, rolling her eyes.
“I know you don’t believe me, but you had to have felt those moments when we were together. It felt larger than life.”
“It did to me,” she said, nodding. “And I think that’s why I was so shocked when I found out you’d been lying to me the entire time.”
“I wasn’t lying to you theentiretime,” I said. “I did care for you. You did make me want to be a better man.”
“No, I didn’t,” she said, determination in her eyes. “If we’re going to be honest here, Antonio, you need to be honest.”
