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“So, he actually still believes you went to the Culinary Institute?” Pollyanna asked, looking surprised. “Isn’t he supposed to be smart?”
“He is smart, and he believes me because…”
“Because what? Please don’t tell me you’re believing your own lies,” Chelsea said.
“No, but I’ve got a plan. Now let’s go to my room so I can tell you about it.”
“Okay,” they said as they followed me down the corridor. I opened the door to my room and ushered them in before I closed it.
“Okay, there’s something you guys don’t know.”
“Oh shit,” Chelsea said. “What happened?”
“Why do you make it sound like you think it’s going to be bad?” I asked her.
“Because whenever you start a sentence like that, it’s usually not great.”
“Well…” I blushed as I looked down at the floor.
“What is going on?” Polly looked surprised. “Why do you look like that?”
“So, remember how you told me to blindfold him?”
“I didn’t ask you to blindfold him. You said, ‘How can you get away with giving him Egg McMuffin when he asked for eggs Benedict?’ and I said, ‘I saw this TV show where—’”
“Anyways, I ended up blindfolding him to do this taste test.”
“Okay?” Chelsea said. “And?”
“And, well, he kind of pulled me onto his lap so that I could help feed him, ’cause he couldn’t see.”
“Oh shit, why does this sound like the start to a porno?” Polly asked, and I giggled slightly.
“Oh my gosh, she’s not denying it,” Chelsea squealed. “Did you fuck your new boss?” she asked me, eyes wide. She and Polly grabbed hands, jumped up and down, and started singing, “Harriet got laid. Harriet got laid.”
“I didn’t get laid,” I said, staring at them. “But I did come.”
“What?” Polly said. “Okay, well, let’s sit down on your enormous bed, and you need to tell us more.”
We hurried over to the bed and sat down. Chelsea wrinkled her nose slightly. “This isn’t where you guys fucked, is it?”
“We didn’t fuck. Jeez, guys, I did not have sex with my new boss. I literally just started this job yesterday. What do you think I am?”
“You mean, ‘Who do you think I am?’” Polly said, and I just glared at her.
“Do you guys want me to tell you what happened or not?”
“Of course,” Chelsea said. “Now, tell us everything.”
“So, anyway, I guess I’d been spaced out, and he had asked me if I was interested in making our relationship more than boss and employee, but I hadn’t been paying attention, so I hadn’t heard him. So when I was on his lap, I was kind of moving my ass back and forth. I hadn’t realized that he realized that I was doing it, but he totally called me out on it, and he kind of said he wanted to spank me.”
“Spank you. What the fuck?” Polly said. “Is he Christian Grey or something?”
I started laughing. “I think he’s trying to be. He did bring upFifty Shades of Grey.”
“No way,” Chelsea said. “That’s so two thousand and ten.”
“Is that when that book came out?” I asked.
