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Even though the fire was blazing and I could feel a few drops of sweat on my brow, a chill ran down my spine. “What do you mean?”
Cesare kissed the top of my head and told me not to worry about it. “But just know that if you’re ever in trouble, tell me. We’ll figure it out together. You aren’t in this thing with my family, but you are just as important to me as my brothers. I will always be here for you, Kessa.”
* * *
Cesare is the first person I go to when I can pick myself up off the living floor. I have to pull over three times on the drive to his house because I’m shaking so badly. But eventually, I pull into his garage and breathe a sigh of relief. Being here is like coming home. It is safe to be at Cesare. I know that whatever happens here, he’ll protect me.
I find him in the living room on his laptop when I make it inside. His fingers fly across the keyboard, and I worry I’m interrupting him. But then Cesare looks up and smiles at me. I break in two, bursting into tears before he can say hello. He sets his laptop to the side just as I make it over to him. I don’t know what possesses me to curl up in his arms—maybe it’s fear, maybe it’s knowing that he’s the only one I’ve ever trusted completely—but I get on his lap and let him hold me.
“It’s okay,” he whispers as I cry into his chest. “Whatever it is, we’ll handle it.” He doesn’t push me to tell him what’s wrong; he just runs his hand up and down my arm while whispering soothing words into my ear.
Eight years of guilt pour out of my eyes, drenching his crisp white shirt with my tears and makeup. That makes me cry even more. “I’m so sorry. I didn’t mean to ruin your shirt.”
Cesare holds me tighter. “Fuck the shirt, Kessa.” He’s so kind that it sets me off again.
I don’t know how long I go on before I finally run out of tears. It feels like a lifetime, but it was probably only a few minutes. Either way, when I can lift my head from his chest, I’m met with a concerned look on his face. “I did a bad thing, Cesare,” I whisper. “And now I’m being punished for it.”
I know that I’m a hypocrite. When we were in high school, I refused to forgive Cesare for cheating on me with Kiersten Karminski. She was the perfect blonde dancer that I never could be. And to get revenge for what he did to me, I swore I’d never date him again. Even when he made me feel like I was the only girl that mattered. Even when he apologized a million times over. Even when he was the only person I trusted. I was getting my lifelong revenge by depriving the both of us of a relationship we desperately wanted.
Now that revenge has come back to punch me right in the gut. I know it, and so does Cesare when I show him the note and explain what happened.
His jaw is tight for the duration of the story. When I tell him someone broke into my house, his brows crease in anger. I don’t know what goes through his head, but he looks displeased the entire saga. I can see the physical pain on his face when I tell him about my affair. He grows even more angry when I tell him why I entered it. “Fucking Peter,” he swears under his breath.
Hearing my dead husband’s name on Cesare’s lips is rough. It feels like a knife being stabbed into my heart repeatedly. Cesare and Peter were never best friends, but they liked each other well enough. Peter understood that Cesare would always be a part of my life, and he embraced it as best he could. It’s almost painful to hear that my best friend is angry with my deceased husband because the best years of my life were when the three of us were together.
“I don’t know what to do,” I finally finish. The story was so long and drawn out that I crawled off Cesare’s lap at one point and curled up on the couch instead. “The guy who broke in didn’t say anything about what I’m supposed to do next. But I think I’m being blackmailed. What do you think the guy’s boss wants?”
Cesare remains quiet for several moments before bringing his hands up to his head. I watch his fingers dig into his temples as he furiously rubs away an impending headache. “I don’t know, Kes. If there’s one note, there will likely be more to come. I think you’re right; you’re being blackmailed.”
My heart drops. I had hoped by some miracle that I was wrong. Maybe I was looking into this too much. But if Cesare agrees, then what’s there to second guess? “What do I do?”
He is quiet again, and I can see him thinking. He doesn’t meet my eyes; he just stares at the floor and rejects idea after idea. Sometimes his mouth opens a fraction, and I think he has a solution, but then it closes just as quickly, and he returns to weighing his options. Finally, he looks up at me. “Thank you for coming to me, Kessa, for trusting me. I know that admitting what you did all those years ago must have been hard.”
I don’t think I could have ever talked about it with anyone else. I’m closer to Cesare than I am to my own sister.
“Can you trust me to handle this?” He asks after a few seconds. “I’ll get a friend to look into the note, and we’ll see if we can find the guy that went to your place. There are cameras everywhere in town,” he smiles, “even on people’s doorbells. We’ll track him down, or his car, or something. We’ll figure this out, Kessa. Believe me.”
His words lift a weight off of my shoulders. I knew I was right in coming to talk to him. Cesare has always looked out for me. “I trust you with everything, Cesare. If-if you think you can find out what this guy wants, then I’ll leave it to you. But what if he tells everyone? What if I lose my job? What if Eric loses his job?”
Cesare’s jaw ticks when I say Eric’s name, but I pretend not to notice. It was a long time ago, and if that makes him angry, there’s nothing I can do to change it. Eric and I are no longer as close as we once were. We only see each other in professional settings, and even then, it’s all business. “We’ll deal with that if it happens, but I promise I won’t let it get that far. You have to trust me.”
I trust him with my life. Maybe that’s why I say yes. “Okay. Just tell me what you want me to do.”
He reaches across the space between us to grab my hand. “I want you to stay here with me. I don’t like how easy it was for that guy to break into your place. I can’t protect you when you’re not here. Stay with me, Kessa, at least until this is all over.”
“I was hoping you’d say that.” I break into a smile while tears well up in my eyes. I know I’m treading a dangerous path, but maybe it’s time to give up on my lifelong revenge.
Maybe it’s time to date my ex again.
11
CESARE
Idon’t know what I’m supposed to “find,” but while Francesca is in the kitchen slaving away over a hot stove, I call Mateo.
“Kinda busy right now.” The baby screams, and something crashes. Mateo swears under his breath.
“Yeah, same.” I glare at the phone as if he can see me. “Considering Kessa just came to me for help with this Eric Benson thing.”
