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She started crying as I wrapped her ribs, but when I paused, she just shook her head and gestured at me to finish.
“Too tight?” I asked once I’d secured it.
“No, it’s good,” she mumbled, sniffling.
“Hey,” I said, pulling her against me. “It’s alright, sugar.”
“Nothing is ever going to be the same,” she whispered against my neck, her tears soaking into my T-shirt. “Why did this happen to us?”
“I don’t know.”
“I miss him so much,” she choked out. “I was so scared, Rumi.”
“I’m sorry,” I rasped.
“I just kept thinking,it’s me, Pop. Don’t you recognize me? Why are you doing this?”
“Shh.”
“And more than that, I was thinking, if you touch my brother, I’llkillyou.”
“None of it makes sense,” I whispered into her hair.
“Everything is ruined,” she sobbed. “Everything.”
“Not everything.” Carefully, I pushed her wet hair away from her face. “You’re okay, and Bird’s okay, and so is Ash.”
“What are we going to do without him?”
I stood there, comforting her the best I could, but I wasn’t sure it made any difference. Nova was so far in her head, I didn’t think anyone could reach her. I eventually helped her dress and carried her into my room as the events of the past few months poured out of her in fits and starts. She had to get out, and I knew that, but even knowing that she was safe in my arms, my body broke out in a sweat just from hearing about all the things I’d missed.
She fell asleep against my shoulder, her hand gripping my T-shirt, while I stared at the ceiling in my room.
I was angry, and it wasn’t just normal anger—it filled every molecule in my body until I couldn’t focus on anything else. Nova had already dealt with so much in her life. I didn’t know how she’d survived before Samson and Ash had taken her in. From the stories I’d heard over the years, the odds had been stacked against her and Bird. So, why the fuck, of all the people in the world, did this happen toher? How much more was she expected to take?
I’d had a pretty damn idyllic childhood. There’d been the occasional lockdown at the MC and loss that everyone went through at some point or another, but otherwise I’d had it so fucking easy. I’d skated along, getting everything I wanted, taking absolutely nothing seriously, and I’d been so far up my own ass that I’d almost lost the person I loved most.
I’d assumed that she’d always be there. I’d taken it for granted that at some point when we were older, we’d eventually be together. So, I’d put it off, refused to see it, kept my hands to myself and my boundaries in place… until I couldn’t. Then, instead of taking the chance when I’d had it, I’d been so fucking focused on the timeline that I’d wasted it—and in doing so, I’d broken something between me and Nova that I wasn’t sure could be fixed.
I’d let her down so badly, I wasn’t sure she’d ever trust me again.
“Fuck me,” I whispered as Nova shifted against me.
I didn’t just love Nova, Ilovedher, and I always had.
Chapter 22
Nova
If I’d thoughtthat things couldn’t get any worse, I’d been kidding myself.
The first few days at Rumi’s house were a blur. People came and went, checking in on us and bringing by even more food. Olive and Meg camped out all day on the couch. Brody stopped by but didn’t stay long. Something was going on between him and Rumi.
I called into work and told them I wasn’t sure when I could come back. Managers from both jobs had seen what happened on the news and were sympathetic and understanding, but warned me that they’d have to hire someone to cover my shifts. Thankfully, the extra shifts I’d picked up had given me a little wiggle room in the cash department.
Every night Bird started out asleep on the couch and at some point in the middle of the night, we found him on the floor of Rumi’s room. The first night, Rumi got up and lifted Bird onto the bed. When he tried to go to the couch himself, I pulled him back in with us. There wasn’t much space, but I didn’t mind. There was something infinitely comforting with Rumi on one side of me and Bird on the other side while I slept.
Nana walked around the house like a ghost. She barely spoke unless she was making sure me and Bird were okay. More than once, we found her sitting on Rumi’s broken-down back porch, unable to stand being in the house with so many people.
