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“Nana’s lawyer?”
“The family law attorney. Bird’s lawyer,” I clarified. “And she said that we’d have a better chance keepin’ Bird with us if we were married.”
“Oh, she just threw that information out there, did she?”
“No,” I ground out, the sarcasm pushing on my last nerve. “I asked her.”
“You asked if we’d look better in court if we weremarried? Why would you do that?”
“Because my parents did it,” I barked, starting to panic. I knew I hadn’t fucked up, I’d only asked a question, but it sure felt like I’d fucked up somewhere.
“What do you mean your parents did it? What are you even talking about?”
“Okay, listen,” I said, deliberately lowering my voice to try and defuse the situation. Jesus, this was not at all how I’d pictured having this conversation. “My parents got married so that my mom wouldn’t have to testify against him in court.”
“What the hell did he do?”
I just looked at her.
“Right, not supposed to ask.”
“I don’t even know,” I said with a shrug. “I just know that’s why they got married.”
“Seems like a really fucked up reason,” she mumbled, crossing her arms over her chest.
“It worked out pretty fuckin’ well,” I pointed out. “They’ve been together for almost thirty years.”
“They’re the exception, not the rule,” she replied slowly. “You realize that, right?”
“I know that,” I said, taking off my seat belt so I could face her fully. “But I also know that I love you a hell of a lot more than my dad loved my mom back then.”
“I’m not even sure how you’d measure that,” she shot back in exasperation.
“Oh, I don’t know,” I bit out. “Maybe because even if Bird wasn’t at stake, I’d still want to fuckin’ marry you?”
“Why?” she snapped, taking off her own seat belt. “Because you were afraid I was going to die? Because you feel guilty about something you had no control over? What changed your mind so drastically that you’d want to marry me all of a sudden?”
She was so angry she was practically spitting, and I was getting nowhere. Anger had been another one of those reactions I hadn’t planned for.
“Do you not love me anymore?” I asked, the words like broken glass in my mouth.
“Why would you even say that?”
“I don’t know.” I shook my head, frustrated with how our conversation was going. “I just—I thought that youwantedto be with me. You know, before you said that, you did.”
“Before,” she replied quietly. “When you didn’t?”
“I feel like we’re talkin’ in circles.”
“Maybe because what you’re asking me doesn’t make any fucking sense.”
Her hair was messy, and her face was almost completely healed, and she was wearing one of my old T-shirts that had the sleeves cut off and a ratty old pair of running shorts, and she’d slid her feet out of her sandals so she could sit cross-legged on the seat and I was so fucking in love with her that I could barely see straight. Everything was screwed up. Samson was gone, and Ash was going to prison, and Bird was being fought over because Nova’s absentee parent wanted to be an asshole, and I looked at her, and she was theonlyfucking thing that made any sense.
“Have I ever lied to you?” I asked softly, looking into her eyes. “Ever?”
“No.” She crossed her arms over her chest and looked nervously out the window before her gaze came back to me.
“Why would you think I’m lyin’ now?”
