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I was thankful as hell that everyone seemed to take it in stride that we were getting married, because I sure as hell wasn’t. I wanted to marry Rumi, Idid, but rushing to get a license felt wrong, especially since, in twenty-four hours, my nana was turning herself in to the police, throwing herself on their mercy.
I sat down on the bed and looked at my shaking hands. I don’t think I’d ever been more overwhelmed in my life. Things were moving so quickly, and my life was about to change again for the thousandth time in two weeks.
“Hey, you okay?” Rumi asked, coming in and shutting the door. “You looked pretty freaked.”
“I’m okay,” I told him, getting to my feet.
Now that I’d agreed to marry him, I couldn’t tell him about my doubts. I loved him. I knew that much. Everything else would work out, I had to believe that.
The day moved too quickly, and I would’ve given anything to slow it down. Rumi and I got our marriage license. We spent the day with Nana while she showed me how to make Rumi’s favorite spaghetti bake—like I hadn’t learned it years ago—and went over health insurance and phone numbers and which bills were due when and a million other things that it took to keep our lives on track. My head was spinning as I followed her around the house.
Bird acted as if it was any other day. He played the little gaming console that Titus had loaned him and asked what was for lunch and generally made himself a nuisance just like always. I think he was in denial that soon everything was going to shift once again.
It took everything inside me not to touch Nana at every opportunity. My hands itched to hold hers. I wanted to make her sit down so I could lay my head on her shoulder one more time.
And Rumi was there for it all. He sat quietly with Bird while Nana and I were in the kitchen. Took notes while she went over what we should get rid of at the trailer and what we should store. Asked questions that I didn’t even know to ask. He kissed me as we passed each other, gave my hip a squeeze, ran his hand down my back. Steady. Solid. Comforting.
I didn’t sleep that night, but it didn’t stop the morning from coming. I was in the kitchen drinking a cup of coffee when Nana came out of the guest room.
“Morning,” she said quietly, laying her hand on my shoulder as she went for the coffee pot. “Did you sleep?”
“No.” I looked at her over my shoulder. “Did you?”
She smiled and shook her head.
“Are you scared?”
“Scared?” she asked. “No. Nervous, maybe. Jail wasn’t exactly fun the first time, but I’ll deal with it.”
“They could still give you probation, right?” I asked hopefully.
“Yes.” She sat across from me at the table. “But that district attorney is lookin’ to make a name for himself. I wouldn’t bet on it.”
“I wish we could just take off,” I said with a sigh.
“Me too.”
We were quiet for a while, soaking in the togetherness one last time.
“I won’t be gone long,” she said finally. “Max is five years.”
“Five years is a long time,” I choked out.
“Not so long,” she replied gently. “Bird won’t even be grown yet.”
“How are you so calm?”
“What’s the other option? Cry and scream? Rail against the universe? How would that help us?”
“I don’t know. This is so unfair.”
“Baby girl,” she said, reaching across the table to put her hand on mine. “What was the alternative? Huh? You gone? Bird gone? I’ll take five years gladly.”
“You’ve already been punished enough,” I blurted, tears coming to my eyes. “Don’t they see that we’ve suffered enough?”
“You’ll be alright, No,” she said, patting my hand. “You and Rumi. That boy would do anything for you.”
“I know that.”
