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Had everyone been able to see how much I loved Rumi, or had I successfully hidden it?
At least Rumi didn’t know. That was a small consolation.
I figured that until things became easy for us again, we’d just have to fake it until we made it, and Rumi must have had the same idea because whenever our paths crossed, he treated me the same as he always had. He was friendly, annoying, flirty, Rumi—and part of me was glad.
A small part of me, a tiny part that I refused to acknowledge, wished that Rumi looked at me the way Micky was looking at Emilia.
Instead of dwelling on it, I made the rounds, saying hi to people I’d known since I was little. The club was Pop’s. He was the member. But Nana had her posse, too. The women had always treated Nana like she was an integral part of their group, even though I could tell that she kept herself just slightly apart.
Once when I was younger, I’d asked her why she did it.
Lots of old ladies cling to the club, she’d explained,make it their entire personality, even. But what if their man dies? What if he’s disgraced somehow? What happens when the club’s no longer there? I’ll stick with me and mine, honey. You, your pop, Bird, and your mother whenever she graces us with her presence are all I need.
“How you been, sweetheart?” Rumi’s grandpa Grease asked me, throwing his arm over my shoulder and kissing the top of my head.
“I’ve been okay. How about you?” I asked, grinning up at him. I liked most of the guys in the club, some more than others, and Grease more than everyone else. He was so gruff and blustery, but he had a serious soft spot for women and children and it showed.
“Samson said you got into that school you’ve been waitin’ to hear from,” he said, giving me a squeeze.
“Yep, I start in the fall.”
“Outstandin’,” he boomed, smiling. “We should be havin’ a party for you!”
“It’s just a trade school,” I murmured, embarrassment making my cheeks heat.
“Bullshit,” he spat, giving me a gentle shake. “You’ve been savin’ up and you worked hard in school and now you’re goin’ to finish your education so you can get a job you dig. Don’t downplay it.”
“Okay, you’re right,” I said with a little laugh. “I rock.”
“Thatta girl,” he replied, smiling. “Where’s that grandson of mine?”
“Which one?” I asked cheekily. “You have like fifty of them.”
“I know,” he muttered conspiratorially. “They’re multiplyin’ like rabbits.”
“I think Rumi’s inside,” I told him, hugging him as he gave me another kiss on my head.
He walked away, and I roamed around a little until I saw Olive, Gray, and Rumi’s cousin Charlie sitting at a picnic table.
“Hey, did you just get here?” Olive asked. “Where’s Rum?”
“Why does everyone keep asking me where Rumi is?”
“I don’t know,” Charlie replied dryly. “Maybe because you two are always attached at the hip.”
“No we’re not.”
Gray started laughing. “Right.”
Then Rumi was there, introducing Emilia to everyone and acting completely infuriatingly normal.
Iwantedhim to act normal. I didn’t want people asking me what was wrong and where the tension was coming from and looking at me with pity in their eyes… but did it have to be soeasyfor him? We chatted for a while and I kept an easygoing smile on my face, replying in all the right spots, and ignoring the urge to look at him every second. Eventually we all went in to grab dinner and that went fine, too. It was no big deal. I wasn’t jealous that Micky had come to get Emilia for dinner. I made all the right jokes and replied to all of the conversations.
See us? We were just friends. Just like always. We hadn’t been fucking in secret. I hadn’t walked in on him fucking someone else. We hadn’t gotten into a screaming match just minutes before we’d shown up at the barbecue. Look at how normal we were. Nothing to notice.
I found Bird and sat with him and Rumi’s little brother Titus for dinner. It was simple with them and if I had to listen to them discuss sports and debate who would win a race—Titus was on the track team but Bird thought he could win because he was scrappy and full of spite—well, it was better than worrying if someone would pick up on a facial expression that I didn’t know I was making.
Honestly, I just wanted to go home. I’d made my appearance and said hello to the people who expected it, and I was ready to go home, get in my pajamas, and watch a movie or something. I was tired of hiding the gaping hole in my chest that seemed to be growing every time Rumi swanned by like he didn’t have a care in the world.
