AllFreeNovel
Share Us
There were so many days when everything was calm and happy and just how it was supposed to be. We watched movies as a family. Pop took Bird fishing—which had worried me but had gone fine. He took Nana out for their anniversary. Bought Bird a new fancy BMX bike to take to the skate park. We grilled outside and built fires in the cool evenings and he kissed the top of my head whenever I was in reach.
I held on tightly to those good moments, reciting and remembering them when things suddenly went bad again with no warning. When Bird came to the pancake house on his bike, sweaty and upset because Pop was raging and Nana was at work—I looked at that new BMX that Pop had been so proud to buy his grandson. When Pop shoved past me and almost knocked me off my feet, I thought about the million times he’d kissed the top of my head. When he screamed at Nana, I couldn’t help but picture them on the couch, Pop’s head in Nana’s lap while she undid his braid and ran her arthritic fingers through his long hair until he started snoring.
My emotions were all over the place, but still, I told myself that things would get better.
Meg came home on summer vacation and wanted to hang out, but I was too nervous to leave Bird and Nana home without me more than I already had to—so I blew her off.
Olive called at least once a week, more relentless than her sister, asking me to hang out. She accepted every refusal, but she never stopped asking.
Brody came into the pancake house every week, usually by himself, watching me as I worked, but not saying much.
And all through it, I avoided asking about Rumi or contacting him. I just put my head down and worked and spent time with my family. In my spare time, I secretly looked for apartments that I could afford—but I knew moving out was impossible. Nana would never let me take Bird and there was no way I’d ever leave him behind. Not now.
I felt like I was walking a tightrope—that all of us were—and then suddenly, without warning, it snapped.
Chapter 17
Rumi
Iwas atanother club barbecue, the first since I’d been officially patched in—it was about damn time—and even with the new member patch on my cut, I felt fucking naked.
I knew it was probably immature and maybe a little shitty, but I’d been bringing dates to every single get-together that I knew Nova would be at. None of them were important to me, and every single one knew the score. They just wanted to say they’d gone to a real Aces party—even a tame one—which worked out perfectly because I wasn’t interested in anything but using them as a buffer.
And Jesus, did I need that buffer.
I’d been watching Nova since the last time we’d spoken, and something wasn’t right. Half the time she looked like shit, but it was weird because on those days, the ones where she had dark circles under her eyes and her body was perpetually tense, those were the days that she acted the most outgoing. When she showed up looking good, she was quiet, almost standoffish, even to our little group.
I knew that she probably hated me. Hell, she hadn’t even looked directly at me in months, but I couldn’t stop looking at her. Every time we were in the same place, I wanted to throw her over my shoulder and bring her somewhere we could be alone so I could fix whatever the hell had kept her away for so long.
I missed her so much that it kept me up at night. A few times, I’d even picked up my phone and written out a text asking her why the fuck we weren’t talking—but I always deleted them before I hit send. She’d made her position clear when I’d called her, losing my shit, and she’d blown me off.
She didn’t want anything to do with me, and I was trying like hell to respect that even though I thought it was fucking stupid. We’d had sex, and it was mind-blowing, but it hadn’t been worth losing Nova completely. If I could’ve gone back in time and stopped it before it began, I would’ve, which was pretty telling since I’d replayed every encounter in my mind daily.
I made my way through the crowd, saying my hellos and giving people shit and accepting congratulations on my new patch, but the entire time I was searching for Nova. I knew she was there somewhere.
Then I saw her talking to Meg across the yard and the world went quiet.
I don’t know how I didn’t mow someone over as I strode toward her, because I wasn’t paying a damn bit of attention. She was waving Meg off, laughing at something, pretending to trip… but the only thing I could see was her black eye. It was grotesque on her heart-shaped face. It made my stomach churn with nausea.
I’d almost made it to her when she realized I was coming. Her eyes widened a little, making her wince, and then she spun on her heel and hurried away.
“She said she tripped,” Meg called after me in exasperation as I practically chased Nova across the yard.
Bullshit. She hadn’t fucking tripped. Someone had decked her. I’d seen a million black eyes from a million fist fights and Nova was sporting one of those.
She disappeared around the side of the building and I cursed, picking up speed while trying not to run. If she thought she was going to hide from me, she was out of her goddamn mind.
“Nova,” I yelled, following her around the corner. I slid to a stop in the grass when I reached her. She was standing with Micky and Emilia, the former who looked about the same as I felt.
“Who?” I asked, staring at Nova’s poor face.
It was mottled and purple and her cheek was slightly swollen, and now that I could see it up close, I knew that she’d tried to make it look better with makeup but it hadn’t made a damn bit of difference.
“I tripped,” she replied stiffly, her eyes pointed toward my shoulder.
“Bullshit.”
She shrugged.
