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CHAPTER 1
SAMANTHA “SAM”
Irefresh my emails one more time as I walk through the Manchester Regional Airport, away from my arrival gate, hoping that a new job had come through in the last twenty seconds, and I can just hop on the next flight out of here.
There’s nothing, and my heart sinks. I get in line at Dunkin' Donuts and lean heavily on the handle of my suitcase, sighing as I take in the painfully familiar sights around me––the sand-colored floor tiles and the quiet clack of heeled shoes walking across them, the sharp smell of cleaning products, and country music blaring from the only bar/restaurant on this side of the security checkpoint.
Most of the time, I appreciate how small this airport is. The lines for the bathroom are never long, and I can always find an empty seat near my gate. But today, the lack of crowds at MHT bums me out. Being here means it’s time to go home. I can’t avoid it any longer.
After I’ve sucked down a large caramel iced coffee in four gulps, I head outside into the muggy spring air and call a Lyft. I can practically feel my hair pulling itself into a ball of frizz as the humidity envelops me. It’s not as bad as the moisture in the middle of summer, but late spring humidity in New Hampshire is powerful enough to destroy a woman’s blow-out the second she leaves the salon.
Still, there’s something about the constant smell of rain this time of year that puts me at ease.
I could’ve asked Vanessa to pick me up, or either of my siblings, but another half hour of quiet is too good to pass up. My brother and sister would give me the latest on Mom’s health, which I already know is rapidly deteriorating, and Vanessa would pepper me with questions about Mylo, demanding I give her more details about the night we spent together.
I’m not ready to go there. It takes all my energy to not think about that night. Most of the time, I can keep the thoughts of Mylo at bay. When I’m lying in bed at night, however, it becomes impossible.
I can practically still feel the tight grip of his hands on my hips as he pulled my body against his.The heat between us when we left the club and found the nearest motel was consuming, primal. We were tearing each other’s clothes off even before the door was shut, and we didn’t sleep a wink.
My memories from that night have certainly kept my vibrator busy––to the point where I need to charge it daily––but I haven’t been able to sleep with anyone else since then. It’s been over a year, and I can’t get Mylo out of my head. He’s ruined me for other men. And the worst part is that I was sure I’d never see him again.
After my divorce five years ago, casual sex was my reprieve. It was simple, uncomplicated, and kept me from feeling lonely. I’d drive to Boston, go out to a club, find a guy to hook up with, give him a fake name, and we’d have a fun night together before going our separate ways. When I met Mylo, I thought he was just another guy I’d never see again. He also told me his name was Marco.
But, of course, his brother married my best friend, and now it’s impossible to escape him. The last time I saw him was when I was last home in Sudbury. We recognized each other immediately, but I successfully avoided his attempts to corner me into a private conversation about our one-night stand.
We had bigger fish to fry at the time, but once we got Axil out of jail and their brother, Luka, hypnotized Officer Burton to drop the murder charges against Axil, there was nothing left to distract us from…whatever it was that lingered between us.
So I left. I took the first photography assignment I could get and ran. That was two months ago.
I can’t run anymore, though.
My phone dings loudly in my pocket, and I hastily pull it out to switch it to silent.
Jackie:Mom just tried making pasteles, forgot the recipe halfway through, got pissed, and smashed a coffee mug on the floor. Please tell me your flight has landed and you’re on your way here.
Cursing myself quietly in the back of my Lyft, I text my sister back.
Me:Yes, I’m 20 min away.
She doesn’t respond, not that she needs to, but the lack of response tells me how frustrated she is. Jackie and my brother Marty have been sharing the load of caring for my mother, and I know it’s my turn to step up. They both have kids, spouses, full-time jobs, and their own houses to manage, so I know it hasn’t been easy for them.
I’m the only one who is single, childless, has a flexible career, and lacks a permanent residence. I should be the one at home with Mom. The last time I spent the day with her, though, she forgot who I was. Her own daughter.
She looked me in the eye as I handed her a cup of coffee, and there wasn’t even a flicker of recognition. It was as if I was a stranger to her. Then she asked what I was doing in her house, and I ran out of the room crying.
It felt like someone had cut a hole in my chest with a rusty knife.
Jackie and Marty have had their share of bad days with Mom, too, and since her Alzheimer’s is only going to get worse, I need to be a team player and help out. No more running.
But what if I’m bad at this? What if I mix up her medications? What if I’m not tough enough to watch her slowly succumb to this wretched disease? Apart from being married for a second, I’ve never had to take care of anyone but me. I’ve been on my own since I graduated from high school, traveling from one place to the next with my camera in hand. What if I can’t be the caregiver my mom deserves?
I send a quick email to my editor, telling him I’m unable to take on any new assignments for the foreseeable future so I can be home with Mom. He won’t be surprised by my news. I told him about her diagnosis the day it happened, and I warned him that this day would probably come.
Selfishly, I just hoped this day wouldn’t come so soon as Sudbury has never been my favorite place. My hometown is packed with pain and trauma I’ve repressed and other icky memories I’d like to forget.
Vanessa has always shared my disdain for this town, which is probably why we’ve remained such close friends over the years despite the various locales our careers have taken us to. I’m glad she’s here permanently now because I’m not sure I’d be able to get through this nightmare without her.
However, with Vanessa comes her husband, Axil. And with Axil comes Mylo.
