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Bella had spent the entire five days since Summer’s abrupt departure unmindful of her mother’s passing, instead asking where her Summer-hero was.
And rather than fill me with joy as it once had, every question from my little girl's mouth made my heart harden even further towards the mother of my son.
Serena had called to let us know her sister had taken a turn, and she would need a couple more days, meaning we didn’t even have Bug’s usual routine back in place to distract her from the incessant questions about Summer.
The one bright spot in the midst of her confusion had been meeting her big brother.
His easy grace, so similar to his mother’s, had Bella instantly gravitating towards him to fill the space her Summer-hero had left behind.
And he’d been quick to take up the mantle of protector, after passing the superhero tea party test with flying colours.
Mum had been quick to follow up their Disney trip with the idea of regrouping at Dad’s ranch, North Star, in Texas afterwards. It’s right next to Ford’s parents’ place, Circle H, which is how we got to know the Holloway family in the first place.
It’s not a bad idea, seeing as I’m due to make final changes to the vocals on Misdirection’s latest album, and the studio that Dad built there is second-to-fucking-none.
My mother. The master manipulator.
The thought puts a half-smile on my face as Jesse appears at my side.
How I’d have handled these past days without this boy beside me, I don’t know.
My son is filled with a quiet strength I’ve only ever experienced at the hands of one other person. His mother.
The fact that he’s a well-reared boy with thought for others and an inherent kindness built into his soul makes the wasted years somehow seem less so. As though his mother—because I can’t think of her as anything closer to my heart, in case I hop a plane and beg on my knees for her to come back to me—had spent those years moulding him into the most perfect version of our love.
“Have you heard from Mom?”
I turn my head to the side, finding him facing forward. His face gives nothing away.
“I texted her two days ago to tell her Layla died. I can’t tell her anything else because we haven’t released the news to the media, kid.”
He nods slowly, not meeting my eyes. “Oh. Okay.”
A frown crosses my face as he stares into the distance. “Haveyouspoken to her?”
His face lightens considerably, and my chest clenches in envy. “Yup. We talk daily.”
I grunt before spinning on my heel, making a beeline for the recording studio.
It’s been aired out since she left. Should be safe now.
I need to strum some chords. Hit some motherfucking drums. I need to dosomething.
“Mind if I watch, Caden?”
I grit my teeth at his use of my first name, but force a nod.
It’s like he’s doing it to punish me. For not claiming him sooner? For letting his mother leave? For getting his mother pregnant and not remembering the damn act?
Fuck.
Her revelation of us being together before she’d left had broken me. I hadnorecollection. None at all. Ithadto be that time. The dates line up perfectly, plus from Summer’s recollection, I’m relatively sure I didn’t wrap it up.
How had she lived? What was his delivery like? Had she been able to afford proper medical care? A decent apartment?
I had a million and one questions, and like a fool, I’d let her leave. I’d not given chase. I should have stopped her. Or made her come back.
I should have donesomething. Instead of staying here, festering in emotions I can’t put a name on.
