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And there, sitting on my pillow, was a goddamn pregnancy test.
Chapter Twelve
I walked across the room but didn’t pick the kit up. I just shoved my hands into my pockets and stared at it while large parts of me wished it would disappear.
I needed to know. I was well aware of that.
But I also had no desire to uncover the truth right now. Knowing for certain I had another life to care about when the specter of death dogged my heels might just make me second-guess my actions at the wrong damn time.
Was that selfish? Irresponsible?
Maybe. But in this particular case, when there was so much already at stake, I just didn’t want or need something else—someone else—to worry about.
I tucked the box into the top drawer of the bedside table, then grabbed fresh clothes and headed into the shower.
My phone rang just as I’d finished getting dressed, and a quick glance at the screen had my stomach flip-flopping.
Mom.
I took a deep breath that didn’t do a whole lot to fortify my nerves, then hit the answer button. “I tried, Mom—”
“I’m well aware of that.” Her voice was cool and very, very composed. It was the exact same tone she’d used the day I’d tried to save Cat and had failed, and meant she was holding on to her emotions very tightly.
I just had to hope that this time, they didn’t slip. And if they did, that I was nowhere in the vicinity.
“I’m not ringing to accuse or place unwarranted blame, Elizabeth. Julius’s refusal to believe the danger he was in combined with a certainty that his magic could protect him from any assault is the true reason for his death. His overconfidence is not your fault but rather ours.”
I swallowed heavily. I hadn’t expected her to see that, let alone admit it, especially when she’d always had a soft spot for my brother.
“But I will not allow this dark bastard to further decimate my family,” she continued. “I want to help you track him down and kill him.”
I sucked in a breath, caught utterly by surprise. “I understand the need, Mom, but you’re next on his list, and I really don’t think it’s a wise course of action.”
“I’ve lost two children already, Elizabeth, and I will not lose a third. I don’t care if you hate me. I don’t care if we’re estranged and we remain that way. You are my child, and I will not stand idly by any longer and let this monster take you as he has taken Catherine and Julius.”
Tears stung my eyes. I blinked rapidly and tried to get a grip on my tumultuous emotions. “I understand, Mom, but—”
“No, I don’t think you do. Not until you have children of your own.”
Which might be closer than either of us knew. “Have you talked to Dad?”
“Indeed, I have. He believes my decision is both foolish and unwise, and I believe I have no choice in this matter. Not if I want to live with my conscience and make amends for past decisions.”
The tears threatened again. I said, in a voice that was slightly constricted, “Mom, Juli’s family is going to need the support of you both to get through this. His kids—”
“Could well be next in the firing line,” she cut in. “Who is to say this bastard will stop at me or your father or even you? Who is to say that Catherine’s death didn’t give him a taste for our family? Especially now it is evident the females of our line carry an unusual gene.”
Meaning they’d not only received the test report but suspected my ability with the wild magic had to come from that anomalous gene. There was a part of me—a vicious, still hurting part that just couldn’t let the past go—that believed her determination stemmed more from a need to understand my “special nature” than to keep me alive.
But that was unwarranted and unfair.
If it had been my father, however...
“Mom, this is what I do. I stop bastards like this from destroying lives and families. You have to step back and let me, Belle, and the HCI—”
“I will not,” she cut in again. “You are many things, Elizabeth—possibly far more than any of us might have imagined—but you are not fully trained, and you do not have the family’s power at your call even if you do have your own. I am one of the strongest witches in Canberra, and this bastard will feel my fury, even if I have to hunt him down alone. I would rather not, however.”
In that moment, I totally understood where I’d got my stubborn determination from.
