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“What you don’t get is that I’ve got a lot more going on than the fact that Angel’s banging my fucking dad.” Just the sound of it makes me cringe. “It’s actually towards the bottom of the list of shit I’m trying to process. You know, like the fact thatyourfather murdered my mother.” I know he’s only worried about hisprecious Princessand doesn’t want anyone upset with her. But fuck that, I have the right to be upset, and I’ll talk to her when I’m damn good and ready.
“He’s your father too,” Royal snarks through the line, which sets me off.
I jump off the bed punching the air. Gah, I wish it was his face.
“Are you seriously trying to piss me off right now? No way in hell will he ever be my fucking father. Sperm donor? Maybe. Just because he got my mom drunk and took advantage of her doesn’t make him shit to me. Screw you for even saying that. You can claim the bastard all you want, but I never will. I know who raised me.” I don’t want my name tied to King’s in any way, shape, or form. That prick can rot in hell as far as I’m concerned.
“Oh, so after all these years, you finally want to claim Gabe as your daddy?” He chuckles like there’s something funny about this situation, making my blood boil.
“You know what, fuck you!” I hit the end call button before he can say anything else. It’s too damn early in the morning to deal with Royal’s bullshit.
Why the fuck did I just call Gabe my dad? I’m so confused by my own thoughts and feelings. I don’t know what made me say that. I haven’t used that word to describe him since I was a child. At this point, I honestly don’t even know what you would call our relationship.
My phone lights up in my hand, the vibrations pulling me from my thoughts. Thisdude just doesn’t give up.I hit accept without saying a word. Breathing deep, I try to calm myself before I say or do something I can’t take back.
“I can hear you breathing, fuck face. Don’t hang up on me.” I remain silent, which I know drives him crazy. “I’m sorry, okay? I was trying to push your buttons and it worked,” he says like I didn’t already know that’s what he was doing. I’m not an idiot.
“No shit, sherlock,” I growl back at him.
“Well, can you work out your daddy issues later? Because right now, we need to talk. I’m gonna text you an address and I need you to meet me there around noon. Get your ass outta bed and stop sulking,” Royal says in his demanding tone. My nostrils flare, and I roll my eyes at how annoyingly relentless he can be. He just doesn’t know when to stop.
“I’ve already told you I’m not ready to talk to Angel. Your controlling bullshit doesn’t work on me, Royal. Just let me deal with this on my own,” my voice grows louder as I start to spiral again.
“Angel won’t be here. She just left and has other shit to take care of. Just come meet with me and the guys so we can figure things out. Then, when you’re ready, you can talk to Angel. You’ve been gone two years, D. Since the moment you got back, things have been a mess and we need to figure out how to put our family back together.” Damn, I hate it when he’s right. I’ve dreamed of the day things fell back in place between us, but now, it feels like a boyish dream that will never come true.
“You can’t just snap your fingers and everything will be alright again. The damage is done, Royal. But fine, send me the address and I’ll meet you guys there.” I end the call and toss the phone on the bed.
Royal has a compulsive need to take charge and fix everyone’s problems. Just last night, he was as mad at Angel as I was, but today it’s all about fixing our family.
Ha! Family—yeah right. I’ve been calling Royal, Lucky, and Jax my brothers for as long as I can remember. Now it turns out Royal isactuallymy brother. Things just keep getting weirder by the minute. I feel like I’ve walked into the twilight zone and nothing makes sense anymore.
I’ll go meet the guys to see what they have to say, but I just don’t think I’m in the right headspace for this conversation. I need to figure out how we can find King and help Gabe put him six feet under.
I pull out some clothes, and quickly get dressed, throwing on a pair of jeans and a white tee with my riding boots. I leave my cut hanging over a chair in the bedroom. We are supposed to wear it everywhere we go, but I’m not sure where I stand with the club or if I ever really belonged there. So I leave it where it’s at. It’s not like they’ve ever truly accepted me, anyway.
Heading out the door, I climb on my bike and glance back at the house. Sorrow starts to creep in. This place has never felt like home, but it’s been worse lately. Gabriel hasn’t been here in weeks.
The house has been eerily quiet, and even though I’ve enjoyed him not being up my ass at all times, I hate to admit it, but I’ve kind of missed him.
Since the moment he told me the truth, I’ve had this deep ache in my chest that I can’t seem to shake. He’s probably still camped out at our old house. I could easily go over there to see him, but what would I even say to him at this point?
I was a child the last time I thought of Gabriel as being my dad. After mom died, he shut himself off from the world—me included. Maybe he wants to keep it that way.
Just because Angel convinced him to tell me the truth doesn’t necessarily mean he wants things to change between us. Hell, knowing her, she probably backed him into a corner to get her way.
I take off down the street, getting consumed by my thoughts.
I’m grateful to Angel. She didn’t owe me anything especially after I ghosted her for two years, but she still did what she thought was right.
A huge part of me wishes Gabe would have told me the truth when I was younger but I’m barely handling it now so who knows how I would have reacted back then.
It must have been hard for him to relive that kind of trauma. It’s beyond tough for me to try to come to terms with the fact that the loving dad I once had was gone in the blink of an eye and it was all King’s fault.
The same man I used to run to when things got tough at home is the same one responsible for creating the problem in the first place.
I know everyone handles things differently. Gabriel chose revenge instead of grief and I can’t fault him for that. I just wish I would’ve known sooner, then maybe I would have forgiven him for being so cold and angry all the damn time.
Hell, I would’ve been angry along with him.
