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Yeah, by some strange design of fate, this girl wasperfectfor me, but while I knew she enjoyed the way our bodies moved together in this apartment, I didn’t know if she felt the same - if her desires went beyond just the physical.
“Shall we head out?” Her gaze flicked up to me, clashing against mine in the mirror, and it was exactly what I needed because whether Marissa wanted me or not for more than just a fronting situation with benefits, it didn’t matter - all that mattered was surviving the night.
The rational part of me - the more pragmatic part, urged me to flee. To go into hiding, but it went against everything I stood for. It wasn’t as if we didn’t have access to a series of safehouses all over the place, but I knew that even hiding wouldn’t save us entirely. Besides, it wouldn’t work because even if I was somehow able to accept such cowardice within myself, when they couldn’t find me, they would go after Patrick, and I would never risk my brother.
But I might be able to get Marissa out. There was no reason that she couldn’t go to one of the safehouses - couldn’t escape into hiding.
A plan began to form in my mind, and for the first time in two days, I felt at ease - felt as if I was actually in control of this situation because while I couldn’t control my fate - my outcome, I could make sure thatshewas safe.
Surprisingly, the Society didn’t offer us a driver for the evening, instead, they handed me the keys to one of the newer C-Class Mercedes models. But I saw it for what it was - simply another powerplay. They wanted me to drive myself to my own goddamn execution. A sane person would escape - would flee in the fancy fucking car they gave me. But the cost of fleeing was too high, which was how I found myself driving out the gate of the basecamp with Marissa beside me. My throat closed in on itself as I looked at her. She didn’t fucking deserve this. Why had she chosen to get tied up in The Society’s bullshit?
I pushed the thought away, needing some sort of connection to her as I splayed my hand on the warmth of her thigh - the split opening up beautifully for me. And as I flicked my gaze across her, I was suddenly thankful that I had marked her neck - that everyone who looked upon her tonight would know that she wastaken- that she wasmine- that this girl and I went far beyond what The Society deemed fit.
They might be able to look at her, but anyone in their right mind would know that she had been claimed. The thought, along with my quickly concocted plan, soothed me. She grinned at me flirtatiously, and I knew that it was something that I’d miss - even in the next life, I’d miss her smile. Because Marissa didn’t smile easily. Sure, she offered everyone false grins and platitudes, but this smile? This smile was the real deal, and it was so much better because I felt as if I hadearnedit - thatI alonewas responsible for her happiness.
I brought the car down to a slow crawl, fighting Austin’s downtown traffic, the hustle and bustle of the place seeming so similar to Boston that, for a second, I was homesick. We drew up to the hotel, and I knew that my time was up - knew that I should have used our time in the car towarnher - to tell her about the safehouses - to explain that I was protecting Patrick. But, instead, I had driven with my hand on her thigh in a comfortable silence, certain that I would never get to experience this again.
Chapter Twenty-Three : Allies and Enemies Are Often One and The Same
Marissa
TheDriskillspokeoftimeless wonder and glamor - a place where anyone could enter and truly make a name for themselves with nothing but the boots on their feet and a gun in their holster. Of course, Johnny’s family would usethis placeto host their event - a Mexican Cartel in one of the oldestAmericanhotels in Texas. Jesus, could they be any more obvious.
I didn’t miss the tension radiating from Mack. I wasn’t sure why sending him here was such a big deal, but I had long since learned not to underestimate Benson SinClaire. It seemed almost like one big anti-climax for our assignment to bethiswhen I had heard the horror stories of others. It seemed almost absurd - most were forced to endure blood and gore, being mind fucked at the hands of The Society, and Mack and I were sent to Johnny’s party?
I wasn’t sure what the hell I was missing.
The valet walked over without hesitancy, but I noted the way his gaze lingered on my throat, and the fact that there weren’t just diamonds there - that Mack had branded me across my neck sent flutters all the way down to my core. The man was an enigma, and for tonight, I’d hold on to him. Because no matter what went down tonight, we arrived together, we would leave together. I didn’t follow a lot of rules, but as self-imposed rules went, this was a good one.
I stepped against the sidewalk, but before I could move an inch, Mack was there shielding me from some unknown danger. It felt almost strange being outside of The Society’s compound - almosttoonormal when living in the shell of the basecamp that we’d been confined to. Of course, I knew that if we wanted to, we could leave the grounds for errands, but the risk was always too high.
I pushed Mack forward because as much as his protection was cute, we needed to move indoors - we could hardly stand outside the hotel, not with the valet giving us the side-eye. I shouldered myself beside him, sliding my hand into his, and tugged him forward. While I wasn’t certain what the actual problem was, sitting outside all night wouldn’t serve as any sort of solution.
Mack followed - even if his limbs were stiff and his body was screaming with the need to escape, he followed. I knew he would because, for all his faults, he would not allow me to walk into the lion’s den alone.
They checked our coats at the door, and without even really looking I felt their gazes upon me. I knew what The Society was doing, the outfit carefully chosen to display the piece of meat that I was, the diamond collar simply a reminder of where I came from and how I got here, as if I could forget - as if I had somehow been struck with amnesia and didn’t understand that I was here attheirmercy.
Fine. I’d wear the dress and play their games because I needed them to underestimate me - needed them to assume that I was nothing more than arm candy. But as the gazes scraped along my skin, setting my hair standing on edge, and forcing my jaw to lock. I knew that Johnny would get a kick out of what I was wearing. I would never hear the end of this. His warm palm pressed at the small of my back, and suddenly it was his scent - his strength - his presence that set my anxiety at ease. It wasn’t fair that the person that seemed to intrinsically know what I needed without me having to utter a word was the same person I would be forced to let go of. I wanted to keep him, and even though I knew it was a terrible fucking plan, my gut seemed to hold out a little bit of hope. That was the thing about hope - even when the odds were unlikely - even when the idea was shit - even when the impossibility was an exact goddamn science, the ember of such a wish still burned with the belief that if you tried hard enough - believed well enough, that it could actually become a thing of possibility. Because instead of paying attention to my surroundings as we walked into the Cartel’s party, I was dreaming up ways of how I could keep Mack all to myself.What was his skillset? Could he work for The Warden alongside me? Would The Warden take him on? Would he be willing to work for someone like The Warden if it meant he was free from The Society’s clutches.
I knew that it was simply a trade of one sort of ownership for another, but at least I knew where I stood with The Warden - what his expectations were, and while the jobs were shitty and the torture brutal, I was never surprised. He made sure that I always knew what was coming - what to expect, and for that, I respected him, even if he was vile.
The ballroom was magnificent, crystal ropes draped from the ceiling, gold dripping from the walls. I knew Johnny’s family was over-the-top, but every time he’d invited me to one of these things, I had declined. I had no desire to rub shoulders with them whilst talking drugs and guns in such a gaudy setting, but as I inhaled the wealth, I wondered if I had been wrong - if I had only been depriving myself. But then, I also hadn’t wanted to give Johnny the wrong impression. While I was up for a good time with friends and allies in back alleyways, I wasn’t about to screw one of The Warden’s business partners. While I always knew that my life would be forfeit - that I would exact my revenge and probably die whilst achieving it, I didn’t want my death to arrive earlier than necessary simply because I had decided to climb atop Johnny.
And while I was lost in the extreme luxury of it all, it was Mack’s turn to stiffen next to me - to come to a complete standstill. I halted with him, allowing us to stand still until Johnny - or someone else - attended to us. I slid my hand beneath his jacket, running my hand against his lower back, hoping with every fiber of my being that I could soothe him somehow - that I could protect him from whatever big bad thing that Benson had threatened him with. My fingertips pressed against his spine as I rubbed his back in circles, my arm brushing against the butt of the gun he’d lodged in his pants. I felt him inhale, his muscles contracting beneath my palm as if he was waiting for my expression to color with shock, but it would take more than a gun to shock me - to shake my reserve. I couldn’t applaud him either because we were in public, surrounded by both friends and foe, but the fact that Mack was armed eased the knot in my stomach, doused the flutter of hope that I had subconsciously nurtured, even when I told myself I wouldn’t.
It was Isla who came to collect us, her gaze raking over Mack as if she would devour him whole right here, for all to see. Her body moved fluidly, her shoulders bare, the black silk of her dress shifting with her curves in a serpentine motion. Her dark hair was pulled into a high, elegant pony, with not a wisp curling against her forehead, leaving her face the focal point of her entire outfit. I understood why; Johnny’s sister was beautiful. Being the youngest child of the Cartel with only brothers for siblings, she was fiercer than even they were, and I hated how she stared at Mack - hated the way her gaze seemed to take in his build, skimming over the crotch of his tux as if I wasn’tright fucking here.
But then, she would have no reason to think that Mack meant anything to me - I had never once brought someone with me to any meeting or side event I was forced to endure, so why would she think that this was any different? It still didn’t make me want to claw her eyes out any less. I held back - not because we were friends, in fact, she was the furthest thing from a friend that could possibly exist, but because ripping into Isla would only disrupt her family, and I didn’t feel like dealing with Johnny’s pettiness.
Her dark gaze finally flicked over to me, cool and calculating as she took in my outfit, her gaze lingering on my neck for a heartbeat longer than it should have, and I allowed a hint of my own goddamn smile to show. In any other setting, I would have bared my teeth at her, but dressed up like a Society doll, I was forced to play nice, and Isla smiled straight back at me, knowing full well exactly how tied my hands were.
“Did you bring us a gift?” Her hand slid up Mack’s arm in a possessive motion, and I fought the urge to dip into Mack’s waistband, pull his gun, and shoot the bitch. The world would be a far safer place without Isla Juarez running around in it.
I ignored Mack’s unwavering stare, impressed that he didn’t show a flicker of surprise at the fact that Isla and I knew one another. I should have warned him - prepared him better for my involvement with the Cartel because once Johnny got his eyes on me, he wouldn’t let up. But the truth was, I didn’t know what to say - or even how to say it because anything I said would have beentoo much. We weren’t there - would never be there, sharing secrets and being truthful wasn’t ourthing.
“Not a gift,noran offering.” My voice brooked no argument. “He’s here as mydate.”
Isla’s gaze hardened on mine, but I did not flinch - did not show an ounce of weakness. “Well haven’t you just become more interesting, you certainly arehisprotégé.” Her eyes shone with something akin to respect, but I couldn’t falter under her sudden approval, shrugging off her compliment in the process. I knew Mack would have questions - questions I couldn’t answer, and I prayed that he would just accept this night for what it was - an anomaly in the game we were playing.
