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I blinked, shaking myself back into the present as I took another sip of beer, allowing myself to sink back into the never-ending destructive cycle. The sun glistened against the pool’s surface - the water reminding me that this wasn’tthatmission - this was the base camp, where people drank, partied, attended class, and went on fucked up assignments that only served to perpetuate the cycle.
There was only one way this was going to end - with my death, and I couldn’t even take that matter into my own hands. Fuck.
My gaze scanned across the pool area filled with rich dicks who stood there laughing, joking, and flexing. Raquel’s gaze met mine for a heartbeat before she turned away, talking to the biggest dicks in The Society hierarchy. When comparing rotten fruit, she may not have been the worst of them, but that didn’t make hergood.
And I wondered - not for the first time - if I was a goddamn moron for agreeing to her plan. If being part of her fucked up little rebellion would not only cost me, but cost Gemma, too. But her plan - hers and Nats’ rebellion - had made me feel morealive- moreawakethan I had in a long fucking time. But the problem with being awake was that it meant you were more aware of your reality - your surroundings - your situation.
All of that made me feel antsy, which was why I was standing here drinking a beer far too early in the morning. Lashing out this early in the game would do none of us any good.
A girl in a green bikini walked past me, offering me a luscious smile. I grinned back, winking at her lasciviously. Society girls were always so damn easy.
The girl looked back over her shoulder, shrugging suggestively, and I knew that if I wanted to slam her against the cubicle wall of the bathroom and fuck her sideways, she would let me. Only, she wasn’t my type.
Which was a ridiculous thing, really, because I couldn’t afford to havea type. But after years of being at the mercy of The Society, I couldn’t stand the plastic smiles, the layers of foundation that allowed these girls to sculpt and build a face that was only a wisp of an illusion.
I broke eye-contact, scanning the area before me once again. My leg jittered of its own accord - a habit I couldn’t seem to break. When I needed to hold my body still, I could - but in this setting, I didn’t need to, so I wasn’t about to throw all my concentration on holding my body stiff when fuckfaces were cannon balling in the swimming pool.
A large patio stretched out next to the swimming pool with a circular bar resting beneath it. Tables and chairs sat beneath the covering, giving the wealthy a shaded area to congregate, to eat and drink and be merry.
It wasn’t as packed as one might expect - but then, it was still early. I took in my surroundings out of habit, categorizing any threats. The problem with The Society was that it wasalla threat - even when it didn’t look like it, which only served to add to my jittery leg.
The tables were mostly filled with couples or groups of people, which was normal for these assholes. God forbid they had to sit with their thoughts for too long - acknowledge what they had done and what they continued to do.
And then my gaze rested onher.
One lone woman seated at a table. She sat there in a white shift dress, her brown hair clipped back, but that did nothing to halt the strands that swung forward in her face as sat there engrossed in a book.
What the fuck was she reading? Why wasn’t she in the swimming pool or showing off in a bikini?
I watched her, taking her in from this distance. I couldn’t tell from so far away, but she seemedpretty. But, then, all Society women were - where the breeding program failed, cosmetic surgery was there to fill in the gaps.
This girl didn’t look like that - in fact, she didn’t look up at all. I watched, moving my body closer along the tree-line to get a better look. She simply sat there, engrossed in her book, turning page after page as her eyes devoured the words. What was she reading? Probably one of those porn books that Holly always goes on about.
She seemed almost oblivious to her surroundings, content to simply sit there and drink her coffee and read her book. It was absurd - so out of character for Society folk that it made me want to watch her more simply because I didn’t trust it - didn’ttrust her.
I wasn’t sure how long I stayed there - my beer growing warm in my palm, but the urge to drink had long since passed. People shifted around her, tables emptied and refilled once more, people laughed around the pool’s edge, dive-bombing ensued, sun-bathing continued, and, still, she didn’t look up. It was unnerving.
I watched Paul Mae walk out into the pool area from the corner of my eye. No surprise that he was here - it was typically his scene, but if he was looking for Holly, then he was shit out of luck, she wouldn’t emerge from her room until after lunch.
But the asshole in question didn’t stop to look for Holly or chat with his friends, instead, he made a beeline straight towards the girl’s table, dropping a kiss on her head as if he had some sort of claim to her. That action seemed to jolt her away from the page before her, and I saw the way she visibly took in her surroundings as if suddenly remembering where she actually was. Paul smiled down at her, seating himself opposite her, and that one small action brought a blush to her cheeks.
It was a moment of understanding: she may not look like she belonged to The Society, but seeing her opposite Paul made it clear - she wasone of them.
CHAPTER EIGHT: MONOTONY
MADILYN
The first Monday at The Society’s base camp brought about a wave of excitement because, while this wasn’t college - or even University, there wereclasses. And even if those classes were controlled and run by The Society, the very idea of sitting in a lecture hall and takingnotesmade me giddy. Not for the first time, I wondered what my life might have been like if I hadn’t been born a Montgomery - if I had been allowed to attend college and pursue my dreams. In those lucid thoughts, I toyed with the notion of becoming a vet because despite loving every animal under the sun, I had never been allowed to own a pet. My mother had an aversion to animal hair - specifically, the hair that would ultimately be left behind on our clothing. Of course, that same aversion didn’t seem to extend to her vintage fox coat, but I had long since learned to hold my tongue on such matters.
I shoved the thoughts of my mother and her controlling ways deep into the crevices of my mind, caging her so she could no longer taunt me. Because today there would beclass. Sure, there wasn’t a cute coffee stand I could pick up a to-go cup from, and I wasn’t studying something I actually wanted to, but there was knowledge to be learned here, and I was all too willing to soak it all up. The weekend had been a jumble of weird and unexpected moments, but I’d almost finished the text book I had brought with me, which was something deliciously rare for me. Every time my mother saw me reading something out of the norm, she would simply cluck her tongue at me and pile on more events - more responsibilities - more charity functions - more salon visits, essentially ensuring that I hadno time. For a girl whose sole function was to become a wife and bear heirs for Paul Mae and the Montgomery clan, I was surprisingly busy. But nothere. Here, they had given us weekends of freedom, and the thought of reading - of drawing in knowledge as I self-studied, creating my own course as I saw fit, left me light-headed with delight.
Since Paul had stumbled in, hungover and half dressed the other morning, he had been nothing but the polite gentleman I had grown up believing him to be. If he saw me out, he always stopped by me, offering me company, a kind word, and a slice of physical affection. I wasn’t certain how I felt about the latter - not when his hand always seemed to graze mine - his lips pressed against my forehead - his knee pressed against my thigh. All small touches to show me that he wasinterested.
It should have delighted me - the fact that my future husband wanted a physical relationship with me. And, yet… all I felt wasscared. Because he had done this before - multiple times, and while we hadn't spoken about the fact that hemighthave a girlfriend on the side, I was also keenly aware that he hadn’t slept at home once this entire weekend.
His touches left me feelingconfused-dirty, and while I was neither worldly nor experienced, I knew that wasn’t what I should be feeling.
Paul was one of the lecturers in The Society base camp, and before I had arrived here, I had harbored secret fantasies about what it meant to essentially be dating a lecturer, all I felt about his classes wasunease. But then, this whole experience was new to me, so there were bound to be unexpected hiccups - things I hadn’t accounted for or considered, and it wasn’t fair of me to be so hard on Paul, not when he was visiblytrying.
