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I shrugged. “It’s… it’s fine,” I said. “I don’t know. A job is a job, right?”
“Right, but, if there was something else you’d rather be doing… You’re just so smart and hardworking, I thought there might be something else you thought about doing with your life.”
“Of course, I’ve thought about it,” I said. “But I can’t exactly chase down my dreams when I have a four-year-old kid to think of. It would be selfish of me to put my own wants ahead of his. What he needs right now is consistency, and a roof over his head. My job here allows me to give him those things… Sort of.”
“Okay, but just for the sake of this conversation, if you could have any job in the world besides this one, what would it be?”
My first thought was to say, “Stay in bed with you,” but since I knew he was being serious and Luca was at the end of the bed and could hear us, I gave him the most honest answer I had.
“Honestly, I don’t know.” I’d never allowed myself to dream of what could be. Any dreams or aspirations died when I got pregnant with Luca and left home. “Ever since I had Luca, all I’ve really cared about was trying to givehimthe best life possible.”
He looked at me and smiled. “Your dedication to your son is admirable, but you have to think of yourself too. For his sake as well as yours. If you’re happy and fulfilled, then it will rub off on him. But if you’re miserable, that will also have an effect. Kids can tell when their parents are overworked or unhappy, and I can tell that you mean the world to Luca. He would want you to do what made you the most happy.” Lifting my face to meet his stare, he implored, “Promise me you will at least think about it. Life is too short to spend it doing something you hate.”
“Okay,” I whispered, not knowing what else to say, “I’ll think about it.”
“Good, I am happy to hear that. Now let’s see what is going on with this movie. Luca is being awfully quiet,” he said, raising his eyebrows. We both covered our mouths to quiet our laughs when we noticed Luca was sound asleep at the foot of the bed. We weren’t laughing about him being asleep though. We were laughing that we were so engrossed in our conversation that we never noticed him slip out of the room to get his new Spiderman sleeping bag. He was curled up inside it with his trusted action figures next to him.
“I should get him back to our room,” I started to move off the bed.
Zane put his hand on my leg to stop me. “It’s ok. Leave him where he is. There’s plenty of room in this giant bed for all of us. Plus, I bet he will like it when he wakes up and thinks that he and all his superheroes protected us during the night.”
Still hesitant, I looked at Luca and then back at Zane. “Yes, he would love that, but are you sure? I don’t want to inconvenience you.”
He kissed me. “Does that answer your question? Katya, you and Luca are never an inconvenience and I love having you here. Now, I am going to go check on Kenlee, and then we can go to sleep. There is an extra toothbrush in the bathroom medicine cabinet if you need one.”
Smiling, I nodded and said, “Okay. Thank you.”
He left to check on the baby and I sat there wondering how my luck changed so drastically in such a short time. When he returned, he crawled into bed, and I settled into his shoulder. With Luca asleep at the end, and Zane and I snuggled together, it was like we were a real family.
I drifted off to sleep hoping that night would never end.
Chapter Twenty-Seven
Zane
Thenextfewweeksflew by in a blissful blur of dates, sleepovers, and ‘family’ movie nights. Katya and Luca had been staying at my place more nights than not, and having them around was great, but it also made me miss having a real home.
I looked over at Katya one night, as she was getting ready to go with me to another stuffy work event. She had no idea how beautiful she was. Initially, she declined the invitation because she didn’t have anything to wear and was adamant about not wanting me to buy her another dress. It was a never-ending discussion and argument.
“You have already done too much for me, I can’t allow you to keep spoiling me,” she declared.
So of course, I responded like the smartass I am. “Gee, thanks, but the last time I checked, I didn’t need your permission to spend my own money.”
Clearly frustrated by this, she threw her hands in the air and stomped her foot in exasperation.
“Ugggg, that is not what I meant and you know it.”
She was so cute and sexy when she was flustered. I finally got through to her when I told her that buying her a new, glamorous dress was really more of a gift to me than it was to her. “Because this way, I’ll get to admire your beauty all night. But if you don’t get a new dress, and you don’t go with me, then I’m going to be bored and sad the whole time. So, don’t think of it as me doing you a favor, but really, you doing me one.”
She tried not to smile but I could tell she was amused. “Fine. I’ll go.”
That argument ended with her going shopping earlier that day, and picking out a stunning backless gown that was now draped across the bed as she finished doing her hair. I was sitting on the bed, half-dressed, and thinking about how the month was almost over. I tried to do the math, to calculate exactly how long I’d been staying at the lodge, but I kept getting my days mixed up. Those first few weeks after I lost Sarah were just one big blur.
“What’s on your mind?” Katya asked, frowning at me in the mirror.
“I was just thinking about my house,” I said, absentmindedly. “I might have to seriously consider moving back there soon. I can’t keep raising a baby and doing my job out of a place like this.”
Katya’s face fell. “Oh.”
