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Chapter One
Neils
Happilyeveraftersdon’texist.
Everyone wanted a happy ending. But life missed the memo. At least mine did.
I scoffed as I deleted the last two paragraphs of the manuscript. This wasn’t a fairytale; it was a memoir – of sorts.
I was writing a story with the main character based on me and the experiences I’d had when I was deployed. There was a lot of fiction thrown into the mix, but I wanted to put some of the bigger traumas on paper. I could change enough that no one would even realize this was loosely based on true events, but I knew the truth.
My phone buzzed on the desk next to my computer. I jerked to attention when the device started vibrating, slowly working its way across the hard surface toward the edge. Normally, my phone was set to Do Not Disturb when I was working, but if someone called me repeatedly in a short period of time, it would let me know.
“Fuck!” I yelled when I saw Libby’s name on the screen.
I had been so absorbed in my writing and thinking about the past that I completely lost track of time. She was out of school now, and I should have left the apartment half an hour ago. I wanted to walk to the school. I did my best to be the one to walk her to school and walk home with her after every single day, but with how late I already was, I didn’t want to keep her waiting.
She was only twelve years old, and in my book, that was really young. I felt like the world’s worst father as I slid into the driver’s seat of my Jeep, then I pulled into traffic heading toward the school. Even though I had my reservations about driving, I pushed the speed limit on my way, guilt building in the back of my mind the entire time.
I pulled into a parking lot and had barely shut off the Jeep before getting out and heading to the school. In this day and age, students that were expected to be picked up by their parents stayed inside until the teacher could confirm their guardian had arrived.
“Dad!” Libby yelled as she pushed through the door. “I’m over here!”
I turned at the sound of her voice, then I waited as she ran out of the school and headed over to me. She had her backpack on, with her thumbs looped behind the straps as she held them away from her body.
“Hey kiddo,” I said. “I’m so sorry I’m late. I thought I had the alarm set to come pick you up, but I guess I must not have turned it on, or I must have turned it off accidentally when I was doing something else. I thought your calls would still come through even when my phone was set on my work mode, but I guess you were pushed into the same Do Not Disturb category.”
“It’s alright,” she said with a shrug. “I had games to play on my phone while I waited. The teachers were getting mad they couldn’t get ahold of you, but I told them if I had my phone, I could call you and you’d answer. They didn’t believe me at first, but I showed them if I called you enough then you pick up.”
“I know,” I said. “But I feel really bad about it. I should have been here waiting for you when you got out of class, not needing to be yanked out of my own mind to come get you after the rest of the class has gone.”
“They haven’t been gone that long,” she told me. “Some of the other kids left right before you got here. So, you’re not the only one who was late.”
“I know you’re trying to make me feel better, but you don’t have to do that,” I said. “I messed up, and I need to step it up if I’m going to be the super dad you deserve.”
“You’re a super dad to me,” she said. “And I know how you get when you’re working. It’s okay.”
“How I get?” I asked with a laugh.
“Yeah,” she said. “You’re in the zone. Like, I’m pretty sure the house could burn down around you and you wouldn’t even realize what was happening because you’re so focused on what you’re doing with your book.”
I laughed again, though I laughed to cover a jabbing pain that ran through my heart. This little girl just called me her hero, and she pointed out in the next breath that I was so tuned out of what she was doing while I was working that the house could burn to the ground around me and I wouldn’t even know. That told me I wasn’t present. I wasn’t just distracted; I might as well not even be home.
“I’ll work on that, okay pumpkin?” I asked.
We were on our way to the car, and she stopped.
“You drove?” Libby asked in surprise. “I thought you were going to walk to come get me.”
“I meant to, but when I realized just how late I was, I figured the best thing to do was drive to get here as fast as I could. I didn’t want them to keep you until tomorrow,” I said.
“They do that?” she asked with wide eyes.
“Of course not,” I told her. “Silly, I’m just teasing.”
“I don’t know. Mrs. Parker gets pretty mad sometimes. I can’t say she doesn’t want to lock us in overnight sometimes.”
“Mrs. Parker has been a teacher at that school for a very long time,” I said. “I’m sure she’s a little grumpy about a few things, how could you not be after how many kids she’s watched?”
