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What was it?Therewas some kind of connection between them, and it was a new sensation for Liz. In every romantic relationship she’d had, she had felt love and affection for her partners, but not this kind of magnetism that made her want to be close to Ben. There was something in his mere physical presence that made her feel a little dizzy, but also felt warm and real andright,somehow. She wanted to be near him.
She made an effort not to gaze into Ben’s eyes again. That kind of ridiculous romantic moment had no place in a work relationship, and Ben was her boss.
‘Thank you,’ she said, shortly. ‘I ended up in the right career, I suppose.’
‘You surely did,’ Ben agreed. ‘Not sure I did, though. Come on, let’s head down. I was going to walk you over to the peat fields. They’re not far.’
They started to walk down the hill again, which was much easier than going up, Liz was relieved to find.
‘Why d’you say you’re in the wrong career?’ Liz raised her voice over the wind.
‘You’ve seen the accounts. I know everyone thinks I’m doing a bad job of things at the distillery.’ He shrugged. ‘My dad was a real boss. He managed the place with an iron fist. Not a grain of barley came in that he didn’t know about. I… I never wanted to be in charge, you know? I’m passionate about the whisky. But not the business,’ he admitted with a sigh.
‘Well, it’s not everyone that gets handed the keys to a family business,’ Liz replied. ‘I don’t want to sound disapproving, because I’m not. I understand what you’re saying, about the job being thrust upon you. But the distillery is such a privilege to own. You must know that.’
‘Oh, I do. I do. And I realise I must sound very privileged, like you say. I really do get that.’ Ben reached up to a tree as they passed it and touched a leaf; Liz was starting to see how he was out in this wild environment, and how much it meant to him.
‘But you never wanted to take over the business,’ Liz finished for him. ‘You never wanted to be CEO.’
‘No. If I’m honest, I didn’t,’ he replied. ‘Is that awful? I think you’re the first person I’ve ever admitted that to. I’d prefer to be the Master Distiller, like Simon and his dad. I love the craft of the thing, and I love the land. The plants. The wind. The rain. The soil. I just don’t love spreadsheets and reports and…’ He waved his hand vaguely. ‘You know. All that.’
‘Well, I’m not sure anyone really loves spreadsheets,’ Liz said. ‘But they’re useful. I love what they can tell me, and how they can make me better at my job.’
‘You should be CEO.’ Ben tapped her gently on the arm as they walked; another twinge of electricity shot through her.Oh, for heaven’s sake, she thought, shaking her arm imperceptibly as if to shake off whatever energy Ben had somehow transmitted to her.I can’t work in the office next door to this guy if this keeps happening. How am I going to concentrate?
‘Well, that job seems to be taken for now.’ Liz sounded more sardonic than intended. ‘Maybe one day.’
‘Maybe,’ Ben replied, giving her an unreadable look. Liz looked away, feeling a flush spread over her cheeks.Seriously, you’re going to need to calm down, she berated herself.Or this new job really isn’t going to work at all.
‘So, you didn’t get on with your dad?’ Liz asked, more than anything to steer the conversation back towards something that would mean she wasn’t going to blush every five seconds, like some kind of weather beacon. Honestly, it was mortifying.
‘Umm. It’s complicated.’ Ben picked a leaf from a bush and handed it to her. ‘Bay. One of my favourite smells.’
‘Mmm. It’s lovely.’ Liz sniffed the green, pungent leaf and held it out to him, but he shook his head.
‘Keep it. Put it in a casserole or something.’
‘All right.’ Liz put the leaf in her pocket. ‘You were saying? About your dad?’
‘Agh. I’d rather not talk about him. He was a difficult character,’ Ben sighed. ‘Let’s just say he made life difficult for me in some ways. You might think the money made things easier, and it did, in a way. But we were never close. That was partly because I went away to boarding school. But we never saw eye to eye. We were just too different, and… other things happened which were difficult.’
‘Other things?’ Liz caught his gaze, but he looked away.
‘I’ll tell you another time,’ he said. ‘It’s not that I don’t want to talk to you. I do. I… I enjoy talking to you, Liz. But I guess some things take time. Maybe in the future, okay?’
‘Okay.’ Liz found that she liked the idea of a future where she and Ben shared the deeper, more personal things about themselves.Just as friends,she thought, doggedly. ‘I understand. I… I have some things that I guess I don’t really want to talk about, either. Not yet, anyway.’
He gave her a long, thoughtful look.
‘Yeah. I can see that,’ he said, nodding. ‘You’ve got pain written in you. I can see it.’
‘You can see my pain?’ she asked, looking at him askance.
‘Yeah. Like, in your aura, or whatever.’ His fingers traced the air around her head and her body. ‘I’m not saying I’m one of those woo-woo hippies, or anything. I can’t actually see it. More that I just see it in you… in a more abstract sense.’
‘Oh.’ Liz didn’t quite know what to make of what Ben had said, but she didn’t dislike the idea that he saw something in her that wasn’t obvious to everyone else. ‘Well, I guess we all have some pain, here and there. If we’re grown-ups. By now, enough life has happened to scar us all in some way.’
‘That’s true.’ Ben put his hands in his pockets as they walked along. ‘Heartbreaking, but true.’
