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‘I don’t know. General stuff…’ Liz trailed off. She was curious to know more about Ben, and that included his private life. But she realised as soon as she said it that it just made her sound like she was personally interested in Ben.
Which I am not, she told herself firmly.
‘Oh. Ye got designs on the man in charge, eh?’ Simon raised an eyebrow.
‘Oh, no. Nothing like that. I was just…’ She searched for what she was trying to say. ‘I’d have thought that he’d be a good catch for someone. Not me, obviously. But, you know. Owning a business. He seems a nice enough guy. I just wondered.’
‘Hmm. Well, aye, he’s single. He wasnae, mind, for a long while. Married his childhood sweetheart, a girl from the village, would ye believe. His faither didnae like it, but Ben wasnae gonna be persuaded oot o’ it.’
‘Why didn’t his father want him to marry his childhood sweetheart?’
‘She wasnae good enough for the Douglas inheritance, in his eyes. Bein’ a simple village girl.’ Simon shook his head. ‘Snobbery, o’ course. Ben was sent away tae boardin’ school most o’ his young life. That’s what the toffs do, aye. Send their young uns away. But Ben mustae met Alice when he was back in the village for a holiday or somethin’, when he was still a teenager. Or even before that, I dunno. Anyway, he insisted an’ they got married when they were eighteen. Too young tae know any better, I guess. My faither told me how mad auld Jim was. He wouldnae speak tae Ben or Alice for a year, even though they lived in the big hoose with him. He wouldnae see them on the streets.’
‘The big house?’
‘Aye. Not far from here. It’s been the family hoose since the distillery’s been here. Perhaps longer.’
‘So, Ben married Alice and his dad didn’t approve. How come he’s single now?’
Simon exhaled.
‘Would ye not rather talk aboot somethin’ else?’ he met her gaze with an unexpectedly charming smile. ‘I can think of other things I’d prefer to be doin’ than wastin’ my time talking about Ben Douglas.’
‘Oh. No, it’s fine, I was just curious,’ Liz replied, politely.
‘Aye, well, curiosity killed the cat, as they say,’ Simon sighed. ‘Well, all I can tell ye is that he left Alice, a year or two ago. No one knows what went on between them, exactly, but I do know one thing.’ He paused for dramatic effect. ‘She was pregnant.’
‘Pregnant?’ Liz’s heart sank into her belly. Just the word alone revived so much trauma for her: all the times that she and Paul had held hands, hoping that this time would be the time that the embryo would take. The two times that she had got as far as a week or two of morning sickness before she had miscarried: how she had prayed and hoped for the sickness to continue, but, instead, a loss.
‘Aye. Never seen her back here again, with a baby or withoot. I dunno how anyone can be so cold as tae turn away his pregnant wife, whatever came between them.’ Simon shook his head. ‘Just goes tae show, eh. All the money in the world doesnae give ye basic decency.’
‘That’s terrible!’ Liz was shocked. ‘How could anyone do such a thing?’
‘Dunno. But that’s the nature of the man, since ye asked.’ Simon walked along the stills, checking them, with Liz following. ‘Not surprising that the business’s gone tae hell since he took over. If ye want my opinion.’
‘It would certainly seem that way,’ Liz said, slowly. Ben had seemed for all the world like a friendly, gentle guy when they’d spent time together. How could someone who could be that gentle also do something so heinous? ‘I just can’t believe he would do that.’
‘Aye, well. Ye never really know people, I suppose. Never know what they’re capable of until they do it.’
‘I suppose not.’ Liz felt awful. She had trusted Ben, and now she felt betrayed in that trust. She checked herself.What your boss does in his personal life is none of your business,she reminded her inner voice.All that matters is your work relationship.
But it did matter to Liz, because the subject was so personal to her. How could she continue to work with a man that she knew had – what? Abandoned his wife. His childhood sweetheart, the woman that he had disobeyed his father to marry, just when she needed him the most.
Liz felt a bolt of rage rip through her.Do you know how hard I tried to get pregnant?She wanted to run over to Ben’s office right now and yell at him.Do you know how much it took from me? I lost everything. I lost my partner of six years. I lost two babies. How dare you. How dare you disrespect another woman who was lucky enough to be pregnant. To do you the ultimate honour of carrying your child, and to have the gall to leave her.
Her feelings were already sensitive because of Paul. Seeing him again had churned everything up within her, and this revelation threatened to drive her into even more confusion.
‘You all right, Liz? I hope I haven’t upset you?’ Simon put his hand on her arm, looking concerned.
‘What? Oh. No, I’m fine,’ Liz lied. Her heart was pounding. She knew this was a trauma response; it wasn’t really about Ben, though she was disappointed that he wasn’t the man she thought he was. No, this was about her. She knew that. ‘Excuse me. I should head back to the office.’
‘All right. See you later. And I’m sorry if that was a shock.’ Simon looked like he regretted saying anything. ‘Maybe I shouldnae have said anythin’. My mouth can run away with me, sometimes.’
‘It’s okay, Simon. But I have to go.’ She tried to sound normal.
Liz fought the impulse to run back to the safety of her office, making herself walk and smile to the people she passed as she did so. Running with a tear-streaked face to her office and slamming the door behind her would have seemed odd, and she wasn’t looking for a reputation as the newbie involved in some kind of workplace drama.
She made her way to the small corridor where her office was, and let herself in, leaning against the inside of the door once she was inside. Fortunately, she didn’t see Ben: he would be inside his office, possibly feeling aggrieved at his run-in with Simon.
