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‘Dunno. In the time we were seein’ each other, she never saw anyone else as far as I know. An’ she never talked about the baby. I did have girlfriends later, after we stopped. No one special, mind ye.’ He shrugged. ‘But Maud an’ I just always kept what we had quiet. It gets lonely, bein' on yer own. We kept each other company.’
‘You were probably right to keep it quiet in a place like Loch Cameron.’ Carrie raised an eyebrow. ‘I can imagine the gossip.’ She felt disappointed that Angus didn’t have anything much to say on the subject of Maud’s baby. Maybe he knew things he wasn’t saying, but Carrie thought he seemed like a pretty open person.
‘Aye. That was the main thing. Gretchen knew, I think, because she’d see me goin’ over there sometimes. But she was never a one tae say anythin’.’
‘No. I can only imagine how many secrets Gretchen knows.’ Carrie sipped her coffee.
‘Exactly. She wasnae left out of the rumour mill, anyway, bein’ a single mother by choice an’ adoptin’ a baby.’ Angus nodded. ‘Loch Cameron’s got a lot more diverse nowadays but, back then, there was a lot o’ disapprovin’ goin on. She rose above it, o’ course.’
‘Seems like you ended up living next door to some pretty brilliant, independent women,’ Carrie observed. ‘But I never would have imagined someone with a crazy sex, drugs and rock ‘n’ roll lifestyle choosing to live here, Angus!’
‘Haha. I know. But that’s exactly why Loch Cameron appealed, an’ why I stayed. The landscape’s stunnin’, for one thing. An’ I was burnt out from years on the road. Ididdo all the sex, drugs and rock ‘n’ roll, that was the problem. I needed somewhere quiet, to heal. The air an’ the loch did that. I’m sure o’ it.’ He smiled fondly at the view from the cottage window.
‘I can relate to that.’ Carrie nodded. ‘I always notice the air. June said it should be available on prescription.’
‘Ha. June would say that, but she’s no’ wrong,’ Angus chuckled.
‘What did you do for work, after you got here?’
‘I didnae,’ he laughed, self-consciously. ‘I had money from the music days tae live off. Did some odd jobs fer people, but nothin’ much. Mostly I just work in ma workshop, go to the choir, potter about here. That’s enough fer me, aye.’
‘And you had Maud,’ Carrie added.
‘Aye. I was sad when she passed. She missed you and your sister, and your mum,’ he said. ‘I remember ye, actually, visitin’. No’ least because I was told in no uncertain terms that dinner wasnae on for however long ye were there.’ He laughed, good-naturedly. ‘She looked forward tae seein’ ye so much. She really didnae like yer faither, though. Forgive me for sayin’.’
‘Oh, no. I already know that.’ Carrie rolled her eyes. ‘He was – is – a difficult man.’
‘Hmm. Liked the drink, as I recall.’
‘Yeah. Still does, I suppose. I hardly see him.’
‘That’s a shame.’
There was a moment of silence, as Carrie thought about her dad for a moment. He’d hardly been in touch after Claire’s death. She wondered whether she should check in with him, but instinctively, she didn’t want to.
Let him check up on me if he’s bothered, she thought.He’s the grown-up here.
‘You never had kids?’ she asked Angus instead.
‘Me? Naw. Never met the right girl. Also, I guess I never felt like I was that much of a responsible guy. Or, by the time I felt like I was, it was too late.’ He shrugged. ‘That’s okay. I’ve got a nice little life.’
‘Seems a shame that you can’t be my dad,’ Carrie laughed wryly. ‘I feel like you’d make a better job of it than my actual father.’
‘Haha. Ach, well, lassie. Ye always know where I am, if ye want an aged Viking’s worldly wisdom. Or a coffee an’ some biscuits. Or both.’ Angus put his huge arm around her shoulder and gave her an affectionate hug. ‘Ye cannae say anythin’ that’ll shock me, that’s fer sure. An’ I’d never judge ye for anythin’. I’m more than happy tae be yer good neighbour an’ friend, if that helps.’
‘It does help. A lot, actually.’ Carrie put her head on Angus’s shoulder. ‘Thanks.’
And when you need me in the dead of night,I’m just a minute away… ooh, ooh.
The song played again in her mind. The vision of Claire jerking violently forward in her seat, her neck as soft and pliant as a rag doll. Carrie’s final vision of the car that had hit them, through the windscreen, so much closer than it should have been. Before she blacked out, she had heard screaming. Only later had she realised it was her own voice.
‘Aye, yer welcome anytime, lassie,’ Angus rumbled. ‘Very welcome indeed.’
TWENTY-THREE
‘Oh, good. You’re here.’ Rory stepped back into his hallway and ushered her in. ‘Sorry for the mess. Everything’s a bit all over the place,’ he said, frowning. He was holding a pile of clean laundry and absent-mindedly stacked it on a chair by the door.
‘I was free, though I have to say that you cut into my very important sitting around time,’ Carrie joked. ‘What’s up?’ She was keen to project an air of cheery indifference after the events of two nights ago. The night before, Rory had said nothing about the fact that after their trip to the farm she had clung to him like a limpet and cried her heart out – he was all business – and she’d scurried off after service the night before rather than hang around and for things to be uncomfortable.
