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Had he taken advantage of her? No, that wasn’t what had happened. It had been a genuinely spontaneous moment between them, and they had both wanted it. There had been an attraction between them and it had been building over the weeks they’d been working together. Carrie had wanted…neededRory yesterday, and it had been… so blessed. It was a kind of cliché, but that really was how it had felt.
And now, he was gone, and though he was coming back at some point, she had no idea when. She had to admit she felt abandoned. Even though she knew, rationally, that wasn’t what had happened, her heart wasn’t rational. She had shared herself with Rory and they’d connected in a way she had never felt with anyone else before.
And then he’d left.
Carrie got a cup of tea and a biscuit and sat down next to Dotty, who offered her a throat lozenge.
‘Helps ma vocal cords stay limber,’ she advised. ‘Little secret o’ mine.’
‘I think the tea will do it, but thanks.’ Carrie tried not to let her glumness show; the last thing she wanted was for all the gossips of Loch Cameron to know that she and Rory had slept together last night. ‘How are you, Dotty? I haven’t seen you for a while.’
‘Ah, mustn’t grumble.’ Dotty nodded. ‘And ye? How’ve ye been gettin’ on? I’ve been thinking o’ ye.’
‘I’m okay, thanks. Taking things slowly. The choir helps.’
‘Aye. I like coming. Good fer the soul tae blast out a tune.’ Dotty chuckled.
‘Hm. I’ll have a lot more time to practise, now that I don’t have a job anymore. You’re not hiring at the inn, are you?’ Carrie bit the edge off a custard cream biscuit, thinking about Rory. The way he had held her. The way he’d looked into her eyes.
‘No, dear. Why don’t ye have a job? Were ye not workin’ at The Fat Hen?’ Dotty crinkled her eyes in concern.
‘I was, but Rory has to close up temporarily. The navy called him back to do some kind of special project. He was vague on the details.’
‘Oh, my!’ Dotty’s eyes lit up, probably at the gossip potential, Carrie thought. ‘How excitin’.’
‘Hm. I guess so.’ Carrie nodded. It was sort of heroic, when she stopped to think about it. But mostly, she just felt abandoned.
Seeing June at the piano, Carrie remembered the conversation they’d had before, about nursing. Perhaps this gap in her time was there for a reason; her old flatmates, Patty and Marcus, were all about there always being a reason why rubbish things happened. Frankly, Carrie had always thought it was an attitude that refused to accept that sometimes life was just crappy, but maybe she would benefit from being a bit more positive in her outlook. Being free from the restaurant could mean that she was freer to think about taking up a caring profession. She’d thought about it a little, here and there, since her and June’s conversation, but she’d been so busy with the restaurant and thinking about Claire that she hadn’t really concentrated her thoughts enough.
‘I’m just going to say a quick hello to June. Back in a minute,’ she excused herself and went over.
‘Hi, June,’ she greeted the older woman, who was today dressed in a long grey knitted dress and a black pashmina. She wore gold-rimmed glasses which were pushed halfway down her nose for reading the sheet music for the choir. Today, they’d been running through ‘Alone’ once more, and Carrie had sung the chorus as a solo again. She’d done it several times now and everyone seemed to love it. She had been listening to other power ballads at home on a playlist on her phone, and belting them out around the cottage. There was something life-affirming about it.
‘Ah, hello. Carrie. How’s things? Enjoying the song today?’
‘Yes, thanks.’ In fact, Carrie hadn’t been at all in the mood to come to choir practice today – she hadn’t really gone back to sleep after getting in so early from Rory’s, so she was tired and grumpy – but she knew she should come, and it had in fact been a little cathartic toblast out some tunes, as Dotty put it. And at least if she was at choir, she could try not to think about Rory.
‘Actually, I was wanting to ask you about nursing, June. Were you serious about taking me to the hospital you used to work at? I’d really like that, if you thought it would be okay. It would be really good to get a sense of what it’s really like, from the people who do it.’
‘Oh, of course, dear. In fact, I’m going next week, because it’s one of the girls’ birthdays. I still keep in touch with them all, even though I’ve been retired a good while. I did a lot of teaching, you see, well into my seventies. I only stopped that fairly recently because my hip couldn’t stand being on my feet that long, and, you know, the mental strain. Not that I’m not still as sharp as a tack.’ She raised an imperious eyebrow.
‘Oh, I have no doubt of that at all,’ Carrie laughed. ‘Well, that would be great, as long as you don’t mind. I’d love to come along.’
‘You’d be more than welcome, dear. Wednesday morning next week all right for you?’
‘That’s fine. I haven’t got anything else on. Not even work, now that Rory’s had to close the restaurant while he’s away.’
‘Ah. I heard about that. Very sudden.’ June turned over a couple of pages of her sheet music and replaced it on the holder with a frown. ‘What happened?’
‘He got asked to go back to do some navy training,’ Carrie explained. ‘It was very sudden. Apparently, he has skills that are in high demand.’ She wondered exactly how June had heard about it – he’d only just left. The rumour mill turned fast in Loch Cameron, she supposed.
‘Hmm.’ June narrowed her eyes, regarding Carrie’s face for a moment. ‘Must be annoying that you just started that job and now he’s gone.’
‘Yeah. Well, he’s paying me half pay while he’s away, so it could be worse.’
‘Hmm,’ June repeated, her eyes like gimlets. ‘Missing him, are you? Good-looking boy.’
‘He’s hardly a boy,’ Carrie argued, self-consciously. Could June tell she’d slept with Rory?
