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‘Ach, nae bother.’ Bobbi wheeled Mr Jones into the room. ‘Now, Mr Jones, do ye mind if these lovely ladies sit in while I look at yer elbow?’
‘That’s all right with me.’ Mr Jones looked positively delighted at the extra attention. ‘I’ve never said no to a nurse and I don’t intend to start now.’
‘That’s the spirit,’ Bobbi chuckled. ‘Now then, let’s look at this elbow, shall we? Have ye taken anythin’ for the pain?’ Gently she took away the bag of peas and put it on a nearby side table.
Mr Jones flinched. ‘Naw. Never taken pills and I’m not about to start now,’ he replied, bravely.
Carrie suppressed a smile.Bless him, she thought. He was probably eighty, but the experience of being in the presence of three women was still bringing out the alpha male in Mr Jones.
‘And how did you injure the elbow?’ Bobbi gently rolled Mr Jones’s flannel shirt back so that the elbow was exposed. Carrie couldn’t see any bone sticking out and there didn’t seem to be any blood, but she did think it looked rather swollen.
‘Fell in the kitchen. I need to replace the lightbulb. It was my own fault for rummaging around in the kitchen in the dark, but I woke up in the night hungry and I was looking for a biscuit. Lost my balance when I opened the high cupboard.’ He sighed. ‘I hate being old. I used to run marathons. Worked on an oil rig. I was as tough as they come, you know.’ He raised an eyebrow at Carrie, who couldn’t help but giggle. ‘Now, look at me. Falling over while getting a biscuit in the night.’
‘It comes to all of us, dear,’ June chuckled. ‘Of course, nowadays, if I fall over, it’s “a fall”. I’m at that stage now too.’
‘Hmm. You’re right.’ Mr Jones winced as Bobbi gently manipulated his arm. ‘Ouch.’
‘It’s the way of the world,’ June replied, watching Bobbi.
‘Aye. You’re a nurse, are you? Bet you could teach these two a thing or two.’ Mr Jones twinkled at June. ‘Always loved a lady in uniform, me. But you’re not wearing one. Supervisor, or something?’ Carrie realised that Mr Jones was flirting with June.
‘No, dear, I’ve retired,’ June replied, crisply, but not without a certain warmth. ‘I’m just showing my friend what it’s like being a nurse. And that includes men of all ages making passes at you.’ She turned to Carrie. ‘Now, Mr Jones is really quite sweet. But I have to admit, I’ve been on the receiving end of many experiences with patients that were less than charming.’
‘Oh, I didn’t mean to offend.’ Mr Jones looked discomfited.
‘I know you didn’t, dear, and I’m not offended at all.’ June patted him gently on the knee, and he glowed with pleasure. ‘Just explaining to my friend here what can happen. Still, Carrie, it shouldn’t put you off. You’ve got to remember that our role is to help people at difficult times. Sometimes, that means people aren’t their normal selves. We have to allow for that, and be kind.’
Carrie thought back again to the nurses that had looked after her in hospital, after Claire died. One, Pamela, had stayed with her on more than one night when she couldn’t get to sleep because of the pain from her collarbone, but also from the sheer, heart-numbing exhaustion of grief that had overcome her. She had sobbed her heart out, uncontrollably, and Pamela had handed her tissues, listened, and – though she couldn’t hug Carrie because of her injury – patted her knee consolingly. Pamela had been incredibly kind at a time when Carrie hadn’t been her usual self, and she would always appreciate that. And, she found that when she thought about that kindness, and the kindness Bobbi was showing to Mr Jones, then she didn’t feel panicky about being at the hospital anymore.
‘Can you move your fingers for me?’ Bobbi watched as Mr Jones wiggled his fingers. ‘All right. I think ye’ve got away with anythin’ big, but we’re goin’ tae have to x-ray ye and just check you havenae got a small fracture. Okay? I’ll wheel you up there now.’
‘Right you are, nurse,’ Mr Jones sighed. ‘I was going to the betting shop and then the pub later, but I suppose that’s out of the question for now.’
‘Probably for today, my pet,’ Bobbi chuckled. ‘Come on, then. We’ll leave these ladies to it, aye. Nice tae meet ye, Carrie.’
‘And you,’ Carrie called after Bobbi, who expertly wheeled Mr Jones up the corridor.
Mr Jones’s arrival had distracted her from her feelings, which she was grateful for, but it had done something more: it had given Carrie an insight into something else within her. Yes, nursing had been an ambition when she was a child, but she had lost herself along the way and ended up temping through a variety of jobs she didn’t really enjoy. Nursing might be difficult, and not well paid, but it might offer her the thing that she needed in her life. She realised now she hadn’t ever been looking for a set of particular skills that she could practice and enjoy in her work, but rather something more emotional. A feeling that she could inhabit. And now she realised what that feeling was: compassion. She felt a vast wellspring of compassion within her that needed an outlet.
Part of that, she realised, was a need to feel compassion for herself – to forgive herself for failing her sister. She couldn’t quite do that yet, but perhaps in the meantime she could start taking steps that would allow her to offer it to others.
TWENTY-NINE
‘So, because this is a small local hospital, we don’t tend to have many separate wards like you would in a larger one,’ June explained, as they walked up the corridor through the middle of the main ward area.
On each side of the bright white corridor, three sets of double doors led off into long rooms, each with about ten beds. There were also a couple of single occupancy rooms with large windows that looked out onto green woodland outside.
‘Most of the wards are mixed in terms of what’s up with people, though of course we keep men on one side and ladies on the other. The single rooms are for people that might be highly contagious, or if we’re providing end-of-life care, or perhaps if we have someone like a nursing mother in. Depends on the situation.’
‘Right. I see.’ Carrie looked through the glass top of the door leading into one ward; she could see a few of the beds were occupied, though not all. In one, an elderly woman was asleep, and in another, a middle-aged woman was sitting up, reading a novel. ‘It all seems very calm up here.’
‘Well, it’s up and down. It’s quiet at the moment, but the wards can get full. In the pandemic, obviously, we were at capacity. I was drafted in to help then.’ June shook her head. ‘Not an easy time. I was shattered, too. Too old for it really, but Dan needed all the help he could get, bless him.’
‘Wow. You would have been at high risk, being around such contagious patients.’ Carrie wrapped her arms around herself self-consciously.
‘I know. I’m old. But I’m as strong as an ox. I wasn’t going to stand by and not help,’ June said with a sniff. ‘I wore all the protection and doused myself in antiseptic at the end of a shift, and then again when I got home. I smelt like rubbing alcohol, but that was the least of anyone’s problems, wasn’t it?’
‘Indeed.’ Carrie followed June as they walked along.
