AllFreeNovel
Share Us
I don’t know how to live withouther.
I sob as the radiant eyes I fell in love withdim.
No!
Take my light! Take it all fromme!
Let her keepshining!
I slump down in my chair like a fucking coward when the machine starts to fireoff.
And, with her last breath, she takes me withher.
Chapter Thirty-Eight
Willow
Gone.
I was on the verge of a panic attack when they brought me to the hospital. I cried. Man, did I cry. I’m shocked I have any tears left. I didn’t know what was happening—if I was miscarrying, if it was something serious, if I was overreacting. The pain told me something was off, and I was hoping that it wasn’t the something thathappened.
I shrank into my bed, a cry escaping my lips, when they couldn’t find the second baby’s heartbeat. They checked it once. Checked it twice. Nothing. Blame wrapped around me like a blanket when Dallas walked in. I shouldn’t have been on the road in the middle of nowhere. I shouldn’t have been stressing myself out over a man when I had babies to worryabout.
At first, I blamedmyself.
Then, that blame shifted toDallas.
He shouldn’t have asked me to go to hishouse.
It’s not my fault we lost thebaby.
It’s not his fault we lost thebaby.
But, sometimes, you want to blame someone because you can’t handle knowing they’re just gone. Even though I haven’t been pregnant that long, I’ve already started to fall in love with my babies, and now, one of them has been taken away from me. My heart is hurting, like someone stuck a knife inside and is twisting it until every part of me hasruptured.
I still have a baby relying on me. I’m not going to put myself into any other stressful situations. I won’t be worried about Dallas’s heart because I’m only going to focus on keeping mine sane for the baby, and trying a relationship with him isn’t going to dothat.
I need space. I need to step away. I stare at the door, wondering if he’s going to come back or not, and tense up when a knockcomes.
Stella peeks her head in. “Cool if I comein?”
“Yes,” I answer. I need someone rightnow.
She smiles and sits down in the empty seat next to me. “Have you called your momyet?”
I shake my head. “I honestly don’t want to tell anyone. She’ll want to fly here and take care of me, which is what I don’t want. I need time to breathe on my own, to accept this, to take it in.” I rub my stomach. “Can you give me a ride home when they releaseme?”
She squeezes her hand over mine. “Of course.” She opens her mouth and then shuts it. She wants to talk about Dallas, most likely wants us to patch things up, but that’s impossible rightnow.
Like I told Dallas, I understand now. I know how it feels to lose someone you love so much, someone you thought you’d spend yearswith.
And I understand never wanting to let themgo.
* * *
Three days have passedsince Stella brought me home from thehospital.
I’m sore. Exhausted.Hopeless.
