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Thefuck?
“Did you bump your head? These boxes are for me to move inwithyou.”
Her answer melts the burden off my chest. “What did yousay?”
“I said, I’ve been packing my stuff because I’m accepting the offer of moving in with you,dipshit.”
Damn, does my girl have a mouth onher.
Stupidity rails through me. So much time has passed since I asked her to move in, I figured it wasn’t anoption.
She’s staying. Halle-fucking-lujah.
I crack a smile while she blankly stares atme.
“So, now that you know I’m not leaving your ass, promise me you won’t do that anymore,” she says, her tone turning emotionless. “If you want me to move in with you, you can’t go around, saying things you don’tmean.”
I cock my head and stare at her in confusion. “What don’t Imean?”
“That you love me.” She throws her hands down to her sides. “We get along great, the baby will have two parents, but don’t get my hopes up. I’ve made my mind up to move in, so you don’t have to lie tome.”
Oh,shit.
The L-word hasn’t left my mouth again since we lost the baby. In fear of her running away, I’ve stopped myself every time. Now, my dumbass has blurted it out and ruined any chance of her moving in withme.
I draw nearer before she kicks me out, and I walk her back until her back hits a wall. I press a hand to her cheek, and hers wrap around my neck, massaging the built-up tension. I look down, searching for eye contact, but she’s not givingit.
“Look at me,” I whisper. My voice turns raw. Raspy. My breathing falters when she does. “I’d be lying if I said I didn’t loveyou.”
I didn’t bring her home with me that night, expecting to fall in love. I never thought that having surprise babies, going on road trips, getting stranded, and then surviving a miscarriage would bring so many emotions out of me. That it would warm my cold heart. That’d it bring me closer toher.
She’s managed to dothat.
She makes me want to be a betterman.
A man who believes in love again because he’s in love withher.
She’s a strong woman with a heart of gold, who brought a flashlight in my darkness to show me the way to happiness when I was fighting not to find anexit.
I won’t loseher.
“Tell me you feel it, too,” Isay.
Worry is evident on her face. The hesitation tells me she’s insecure about getting hurt again if she says it. My pulse quickens. The same feeling is driving through her. She wouldn’t have agreed to move in if itwasn’t.
“I’m scared of feeling it,” she finally replies. “I’m scared that loving you is reaching for something that’ll never be mine. A lifeline I can’t reach because you’re in love with someoneelse.”
I look down at her, unblinking. “I’ll always be your lifeline. You’ll always be able to reach me because you have my heart. No matter what you’re going through, I’ll be at your side, helping you holdon.”
Tears fill her eyes. “You can’t love me like you lovedher.”
“You’re right. The way I love you is different than the way I loved her. I’ve fallen in love with you in different ways, for different reasons, than I did with Lucy. I’ve fallen in love with finding love, learning your tics, how to make you smile, hearing your fears, and getting to know the deepest parts of your soul. I loved Lucy. I’ll never stop loving the memory of her, but I can love you right along withit.”
I grew up with Lucy. I loved her for as long as I can remember, but I don’t rememberfallingin love with her because I knew everything about her. This is something new to me. A different love but still love. You don’t love the same everytime.
I squeeze Willow’s hips and hope my next question isn’t pushing the limit. “You ready to admit you love meyet?”
She shakes herhead.
