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I shut my eyes. “Good night, Willow,” I whisper even though she can’t hearme.
I wait to pull away until I see the light come through herwindows.
I get Maven changed when we get home, tuck her into bed, and start to pick up around the house. If I slack on the housecleaning, my mom comes over and not only plays maid, but detective as well. She checks the fridge to make sure we’re consuming all the food groups and goes through my mail and underweardrawer.
I grew out of letting my mom make my bed over a decade ago—the reasons different now than before. I’m not stashing porn and condoms underneath my mattress. It’s more her searching for evidence that I’m getting laid or seeing someone. She’s resorted to leaving information about online dating and schedules of all the social functions happening intown.
No fucking thankyou.
I finish cleaning up the aftermath of Maven’s sleepover with her stuffed animals last night. It happens when I go into my bedroom. I tried to hide all the pictures once. Picked them up and shut them away in the attic. Ten minutes later, I returnedthem.
I like to see Lucy when I’m having a bad day, when I need someone to understand me, when I need to tell her about all the crazy stuff our daughter does. I grab the picture from my nightstand and trace my fingers over her wedding dress, her tan face, her blonde hair, and then her pinklips.
“You always were the best at giving advice,” I whisper, setting the frame down to twist my wedding ring. “Tell me what I shoulddo.”
I shut my eyes and remember her last words. Lucy knew what I needed before I knew itmyself.
“Find someone to love,” shedemanded.
“That’s not … that’s not possible,” Iwhispered.
“It is. I promise you, the day will come.” I opened my mouth to argue, but she placed her finger against the crack of my lips. “You might not see it now, but it will. Your heart will make the right choice to move on with someone who loves you and Maven. Don’t be scared, my love. Give it a chance. Heal and let her help you doit.”
I kiss my fingers, press them to her picture, and turn off mylamp.
Sleep doesn’t come tome.
Chapter Fifteen
Dallas
Maven grinsat me with her gap-toothed smile, a clear sign she’s up to no good. Two bags are set at her feet, waiting for me to load them into my truck. “Daddy, I need your phone this week. Pretty, prettyplease.”
“For what?” Iask.
“In case I need anything,” she answers in annoyance, as if it were a reasonable request for a six-year-old.
“Nice try. You’re not taking my phone tocamp.”
She huffs and stomps her feet. I’ve already vetoed her iPad making the trip.Damn kids and electronics.They act like it’ll kill them to spend a weekend in the wilderness without Wi-Fi.
“What if I get lost in the woods and can’t find my wayback?”
“I’ve pointed out the North Star to you severaltimes.”
She frowns. “What if I see a big ole meanbear?”
I laugh. “Having a phone will be the last of your worries. If you see a bear, slowly back away, and don’t make eye contact.”I thought I wasn’t supposed to deal with this shit until her teenageyears.
She crosses her arms and gives me her best pouty face. She knows how to pull at my heartstrings. Her perfected pouty face has landed her a gerbil, a goldfish, and theiPad.
“Don’t act like you won’t miss me,” Itease.
Her pouty face turns into an annoyedone.
“Now, grab your sleeping bag, and let’s get going,” Iinstruct.
This will be the longest we’ve been away from each other since Lucy passed. It was different when she was here. I lived states away, traveled frequently, and only came home a few times a month. I regret having that long-distance relationship. I thought I’d have more time, but it just goes to show you that time is never guaranteed. Live each moment and hug the ones you love because you don’t know what can happentomorrow.
