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“Admit this so-calledold manmade you feel better than anyboyyou’ve been with your age.” He rests the spatula on the stove, and his eyes fix on me. “You lose a taco for every lie you tell, so I’d suggest you stick with the truth if you have anappetite.”
Fuckingtacos.
Are they worthhonesty?
My stomachgrowls.
Hellyes.
“I don’t have much to compare since I’ve slept with only two men. Brett cared about pleasing me in the beginning.” I sigh. “That changed in the end. He’d get off, slap my ass, thank me, and then go back to his videogames.”
“Shit, you dated a fucking loser,” he grumbles. “LA is saturated with men, and you stuck around with him? I never understoodthat.”
“That’s what everyonesays.”
“Why’d you stay with himthen?”
“I don’t know.Convenience?”
“That’s a piss-poor excuse to stay in arelationship.”
“You’re telling me, you’ve never stayed with someone because starting over sounded too rough?” My voice is filled with defensiveness. I’m not alone onthis.
“Fuck no. I’d never be with someone I didn’t love. I stayed with Lucy for so long because my life would’ve been a nightmare without her. I loved her more than my own air. I would’ve given my life for her, taken her cancer, given her myhealth.”
“It might not be with Lucy, but you’re doing it now.” I shift around him and go to the fridge for a bottle ofwater.
My responsereallycatches hisattention.
“What wasthat?”
I take a drink and slowly swallow it while he stares at me inconfusion.
“Nothing,” I mutter. I place my water on the counter and go back to my choppingduty.
He plucks the knife from my hand. “Not so fast. Tell me what youmean.”
Here goes nothing.“You’re doing the samething!”
He raises a questioning brow and reaches back to turn the stoveoff.
“You’ve accepted being alone because the thought of starting over without Lucy seems too rough.Convenience.”
My eyes pierce his, and I wait for him to turn around and leave me with a half-cooked dinner. I should feel guilty about what I said, but Idon’t.
His shoulders draw back while he takes a pained breath. “She was my wife. You’re not supposed to get over the love of yourlife.”
My mention of Lucy has put a damper on taco night, but it needed to be said. His answer will tell me if last night was just sex or if he’s ready to open his heart and try something withme.
“I’m not saying you have to getoverher but more of coming to terms that she’s gone. I stayed with Brett because the thought of something new scared the living shit out of me, and you’re doing the same. Don’t throw stones at glasshouses.”
He wipes his hands down his jeans. “How’d you do itthen?”
The fact that he’s still standing here shocks me. “Dowhat?”
“Let your heart moveon.”
“It wasn’t easy. It was one of the hardest decisions I’d evermade.”
