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There’s a beaming smile on his face that hasn’t left since we got the news. I nod, giving him the go-ahead, wanting him to have this moment.
He throws his hands up. “We’re having a baby!”
The celebrations occur, and my family is already making bets on whether we’ll have a boy or girl. All I want is a healthy baby and to be the best mother I can be. I have no doubt that Gage will fulfill the perfect father role. The light on his face when the doctor confirmed the nineteen tests we’d taken were for sure positive was something I wished I could take a picture of and keep forever.
I had held back from asking Gage if he wanted to have children. It was a sensitive topic I wasn’t sure how to approach. Luckily, he came to me aftercummingin me. He helped clean me up and then asked me what I thought about going off birth control and starting a family. Even though he asked it so casually, I knew it meant so much for him to say those words. I had no hesitation in answering him with a yes, but I questioned if he was sure. He nodded, took my hand, and we went to the bathroom together to toss my pills in the trash.
This is his second chance.
Oursecond chance.
As the evening turns into dawn, Amos is at our side, telling everyone good-bye. He wraps his arms around me and Gage and grins. “Youthreeready to go home?”
Epilogue
Gage
I grin as I stare at the screen.
It’s our first ultrasound. I don’t think either one of us managed to get a minute of sleep last night. We spent our time throwing out possible baby names and talking about nursery paint colors, and we discussed whether the baby would look more like her or me.
Lauren’s face shines as she squeezes my hand, her focus on the screen as well. “Our first view of our little one.”
“I can’t wait to meet him or her.”
We hold our breath and nod when the tech asks if we want to know the sex.
We nod.
It’s a girl.
We’re having a princess.
The tech consumes our attention while she shows us our daughter. She has an adorable face with my nose even though Lauren disputes that you can’t see any facial features yet.
The photo stays in my hand the entire ride back to our new home. It pained us to leave the loft, but there wasn’t enough room for our growing family. We’re only minutes away from my dad if he needs anything. The ultrasound photo gets put into a frame, and we settle it between a picture of Lauren and me and one of Andy after his first soccer game.
I’ve begun dealing with my guilt over losing Andy. The pain of being unable to stop his death will always be there, but it’s less frequent now. He’s my son whom I lost too soon, a little man who crawled into my life and made it brighter each day. I hope I did the same for him during the small amount of time he had here.
I grab his photo and relax on the couch while wiping a single tear as I stare at my first child. He would’ve been a kick-ass big brother. Our little girl would have screamed at him for helping me warn off boyfriends, and I could’ve shown him Blue Beech. His smile would’ve lit our small town up.
Lauren plops down next to me, and I rub her growing stomach before placing the photo of him on top of it.
“This is your big bro,” I whisper, leaning down so that my mouth is at her bellybutton, hoping our girl can understand every word even though it’s doubtful. “I’ll tell you all about him when you get older. He would’ve loved you so much.”
Lauren strokes my hair as a sob leaves her throat.
She visited Andy’s grave with me last month. We bought hot dogs at his favorite stand at the Navy Pier and took them to his place of peace, making sure we had an extra one for him. I now have to live off the good memories, so the bad ones don’t pull me back into the darkness.
“Our little girl will be happy, knowing Andy is watching over her like a guardian angel,” Lauren whispers.
“He’ll be the best damn big brother ever,” I muster out.
I kiss her stomach one last time before falling to my knees. The small box has been lodged in my pocket all day after I asked John for his blessing. I exhale while looking up into her curious eyes. Since I asked my dad for my mother’s ring, I’ve been debating on whether to make it a private or public proposal. My mind wasn’t made up until this very moment.
She saysyes.
Giving someone a second chance is oftentimes frowned upon.
