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Tonight, I don’t have a care in the world. Devin and I argued earlier, and all my fucks left with the last drink Maliki poured me.
For years, I’ve wondered but never had the guts to ask. There’s no missing the women who look him up and down like he’s a snack they can’t wait to devour. They flirt with him, write their numbers on bar napkins, and touch him in ways I wish I could. My fantasies are appalling, provided I’m in a relationship, but that doesn’t stop me from resenting them.
Maliki pauses, sets the beer in his hand on the bar, and roams his eyes over me. “What?”
Oh, he heard me.
“How many women have you had sex with?”
He shrugs and returns to the cooler. “I don’t know.”
“You don’t know how many women you’ve slept with?” I slowly say, unhappy with his answer.
Maliki blowing off my question isn’t surprising. He never ventures into personal territory. We make small talk, like what we did during the day or movies, and he shares crazy customer stories with me.
“Nope,” he bites out, crouching down to get the last crate.
I scrunch up my face. “That’s weird.”
Exhaustion fills his eyes as he casts them on me. “How’s that weird? I don’t keep a fucking tally, Sierra.” Irritation burns along with his words.
“It’s a lot then, huh?”
He shuts the cooler with extra force. “I’m not clear what your definition ofa lotis.”
“A lot …” I waver, struggling to strike the perfect words. “I don’t think I’ve slept withthatmany guys. It’s most likely a smaller number than yours. It’s—”
He shoots his hand up and interrupts me, his voice cold, “I don’t care how many men you’ve slept with.” He shakes his head, turns away, and opens the register. He jams cash into it and slams it shut. “Why are we having this talk?”
“I was hoping we could get to know each other better.”I’m also jealous, insecure, and confused with my life.
He leans against the wall and scowls at me. “Sierra, I know your favorite color, favorite food, favorite fucking movie. I don’t need your sex list or care to know your goddamn favorite sex position.”
I cross my arms. “What if I want to know yours?”
“Is there a reason you’re asking me this tonight?”
I tug at the top of my shirt, the room heating up. “I just … I don’t know … I don’t know if I’m good in bed.”
“Good in bed?”
I nod and drum my fingers against the bar.Stop talking. Stop talking. Do not pass go and spill your guts to him.
I stupidly pass go and tell him, “Devin.” I clear my throat. “We used to have sex all the time. I mean,all the time.”
I’m stopped by Maliki talking over me, “Okay, got that fucking point across.”
I gulp. “It seems like he’s always too busy to …you know.” My voice weakens. “I don’t want to be that needy, annoying girlfriend, but it’s weird.”
I’ve already had this chat with Ellie, who insisted Devin is busy with work. I need a man’s perspective, and God knows, I can’t ask my brothers.
He grinds his teeth. “I’ve said countless times, he’s a dumb shit. I don’t get what you see in him.”
“I bet you’re awesome at sex.” I slap my hand over my mouth.Oh my God.I did not say that.
Maliki grimacing confirms I definitely said that. “I’m not talking about sex with you.”
“Why?” I blurt out. “Maybe I need some tips.” I cover my mouth again.That wasn’t supposed to pass go either.
