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The last few nights I’ve fallen asleep while talking to him and wake up in the morning to see him looking like hot sin with his rumpled hair as he sleeps, or to his sweet eyes on me, heating me up from the inside out every time.
And the man is still an orgasm whisperer from two thousand miles away. Holy hell. The things he says, the things he tells me to do to my body, the power that comes from watching him fall apart overme—I don’t think I’ll ever get used to it.
His insatiable hunger to know me in every way, body and soul…the way he’s the perfect combination of sexy and playful. I was close to certain that I was in love with him, but after the past few weeks of getting to know him in a way that we might not have if we’d been together in person, there’s no doubt in my mind now that I am completely and madly in love with him.
What I’ve also learned that has been almost as surprising as falling in love, is that I don’t want to run the lodge by myself anymore. I was figuring that out even before he left, but doing it without him—it’s just not the same.
Last night he wanted to watch me sew one of my lacy things—his words—and I had him pick the color. He thought that was too hard and ended up going with a sheer black leopard print with black lace. I tried something a little different and I’m really happy with the end result. There’s a ribbon waistband like a lot of them, but the rest is unique to me. Sexy lace cutouts attach to the ribbon, a cheeky thong in the back that’s mostly bare, the little strip of leopard material coming to a swooping V right before the tiny lace scallops.
I tried it on afterward and he was speechless. It’s the fastest he’s ever come and then he stroked himself leisurely while he told me to get on my stomach on the bed and rub against the mattress until I came so he could watch.
I’ve always felt a little weird about touching myself—which we’ve also discussed—and especially at the thought of doing it in front of anyone—it was more of anin the dark when I’m too pent-up to ignore itoccasional occurrence or sometimes in the tub. But he’s woken up my body—it’s stirred up and constantly craving him.
He texts while I’m helping Lorena get the floral arrangements inside and I try not to smile at my phone, sticking it in my pocket before I read it to put the last arrangement on her cart.
“You’ve been so happy,” Lorena says, smiling wide. “When I first met you, you were not so happy. Want to share your secret?”
My cheeks flush and she smiles bigger.
“It’s hard to put into words,” I tell her as we start rolling the cart toward the lodge. “I’ve always been such a planner, needing to have my life all plotted out, and panicking when it didn’t go to plan. And now that I’m living the life that I thought I wanted, it’s not what’s making me happy. Not that it’s making me sad either, it’s just…it’s a guy,” I finally say.
Her eyes light up, but then she frowns, sticking her lip out in a sad pout. “But it’s not Mr. Jamison? Is he never coming back?”
The bet at Sunny Side has paused since he’s been gone and I’ve had more than one local asking when he’s coming back for that reason alone. We’ve never fully confirmed or denied all the rumors and I’d rather not when he’s across the country. The bet is just a small part of why I’ve kept my mouth shut about how things have progressed with Jamison and me, but the truth is, I like having this all to ourselves for a little bit longer.
And I still have no clue what the future holds for me, for us…but I love what is happening right now.
It’s a whole new concept for me to think this way. A complete mind shift. I don’t even put the little things on the to-do lists just to check them off anymore, only what I have to get done for the day.
“It seemed like there might be something there with the two of you,” Lorena says, her eyes narrowing.
Bill and Andy open the doors for us and we roll inside the lobby.
I lift an eyebrow at Lorena. “How much money have you placed on it?” I ask.
Her cheeks turn rosy and she glances around us before leaning in to whisper, “More than I should’ve.”
“I think he’ll be back,” I say over my shoulder.
Her eyes widen and she starts to say something, but Vera and Albert step in to help unload and I’m glad she doesn’t push for more in front of them.
It’s an hour or so before I pull my phone back out to check his text.
Dammit.
Jamison
Do you have a minute to talk?
I wish I hadn’t waited to check it, the worry niggling in the back of my mind still about his mom. I call him, walking back to my office. It’s not like I could have talked to him an hour ago anyway, but I could’ve texted to let him know what was going on.
It goes straight to his voice mail, so I text him back.
Sorry I missed you. Lorena was here with the arrangements and we were low on help when she first got here! I’m around for the next hour if you’re free, and then I’ll see you in the meeting with Magnus and Steve and the team they’ve put together. XO
He doesn’t text back then and when I’m done with the meeting a couple of hours later that he never Zoomed in on, he still hasn’t.
I send another text.
