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She gives me her full-wattage smile that I haven’t seen in so long. It reassures me that she really will be okay if I can just get her out of here.
“From what you’ve told me about Landmark Mountain, I cannot wait to get there and make it my home. At least if that’s where you plan on staying,” she adds. “After these months without you, I know I want to live wherever you do.”
I get teary and put my fist to my heart, pounding it twice. “Ugh. You’re killing me. Let’s do this.” I glance at my phone. “Dammit. I meant to charge my phone once I got here. It didn’t charge on the plane, and I don’t know if it was my charger’s fault or what.”
“You can take mine, or we can stop and get a new one if you want.”
“Yours will do for now.”
She nods and then points at me. “Let me know the second you start getting tired and we’ll either stop or I’ll drive,” she says.
“I promise.”
We grin at each other and then get on our way. I can’t believe my best friend is moving to Landmark. Maybe I really am going to get everything I’ve ever wanted.
CHAPTERTHIRTY-SIX
SOMEWHERE OVER THE HALLUCINATIONS
THEO
I turn the house upside down looking for some sign of where she’s gone.
No note.
Nothing.
When I see that my truck is still full of her boxes, I don’t know whether that’s a good sign or a bad sign.
Who am I kidding? None of this is a good sign.
I knew I shouldn’t leave her. I knew it.
It’s not like I could just abandon my job, but I should’ve begged her to go with me.
What the hell was I thinking leaving her here when she’d just told me her dadmurdered her mother?
Who the fuck does that?
No wonder she didn’t fucking tell me until now. I’m ill-equipped to deal with any of this.
It’s after one in the morning and I’m about to drive over to her house and see if she’s there when I find my phone and plug it in, my hands shaking so hard that it’s a challenging task.
My shirt is drenched, and I tug it over my head, pacing as I power on my phone. As I’m waiting for it to start, I get so sick to my stomach, I rush to the bathroom and lose the gas station food I ate on the drive home.
I knew better than to hope that I really had her back for good. How could I fall back into her spell so easily? Even on our best days, I should have had the sense to know we weren’t through the storm yet.
I blow my nose and brush my teeth, rinsing my face with cold water. When I walk back into my room, I swipe my hand over my face and take a deep breath, feeling such profound exhaustion I can barely keep standing.
Get it together, Landmark. Get it fucking together.
I pick up my phone again and my body feels numb, my brain too. I sit on the bed and blink until my vision clears and I can see the screen.
Seven missed calls and three messages.
When I hear her saying she’s going to Texas, I think I’m going to be sick again, but I breathe through it. Then she says she made it, and she sounds okay. She’s still saying she loves me, so that has to mean something, right?
She told you she loved you in her goodbye letter eight years ago too.
