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She blinked slowly, still half-asleep, the sweep of her long, sooty lashes hypnotizing him.
“It’s my fault,” she said. “I shouldn’t have let myself fall asleep. I’ll make sure to go to bed earlier so you don’t have to worry about me.”
“I have no problem taking you to bed.” There were those words again. Was he saying them deliberately? He enjoyed the flicker of awareness in her eyes when he said them a little too much. He was definitely doing it on purpose. Zac cleared his throat. “Are you still having problems sleeping?”
“Once I’m asleep, it’s okay. But it’s hard to turn my thoughts off to get there. And waking up still isn’t great.” A sad smile pulled at the corners of her mouth.
“It’ll get better soon.” The platitude fell from his lips without thought.
She tilted her head to the side. “Do you say that from personal experience?”
“If you’re asking me if I know what I’m talking about, you got me.”
“You’ve never had your heart broken?”
“That would require getting emotionally involved. And I don’t.”
“Why not?”
Zac was all too aware that they were still standing close to each other, their proximity imbuing the moment with a sense of intimacy it shouldn’t really have. Still, he wanted to keep talking, just so she would stay where she was, looking up at him with those beautiful blue eyes.
His gaze dropped to her lips again, but he looked away just as fast. Best to nip this thing in the bud now—if this was even a thing. After all, he didn’t really know her. He could be completely misreading her.
But he didn’t think he was.
Her attraction to him might be reluctant, she might be confused she was feeling it so soon, but he was sure it was there in the flush of her cheeks, in the rapid rise and fall of her chest, in her dilated pupils.
There was no point lying to himself. He’d felt the attraction since the first day Dan introduced her to him. It didn’t make sense then. It didn’t now. She was exactly the type of woman he’d spent his life avoiding. The type who wanted more than a few nights of passion. The type who was looking for a commitment he wasn’t prepared to give them. He’d seen the damage done when love turns selfish and twisted. When the realization comes too late that you’re not prepared to make the kinds of sacrifices happily ever afters require.
Seeing the glitter of light reflecting from her ring finger that first day had almost been a relief—confirmation she was off-limits. If he’d known she would end up broken-hearted and staying on their bus, he might have asked for a replacement. She was too much of a risk to the rules he always stuck to when it came to women. The rules that would make sure he never became a person who ruined other people’s lives.
Cassie was still waiting patiently for an answer to her question, an expression of open curiosity on her face.
He told her the truth. At least enough of it to make sure she knew nothing could ever happen between them. And maybe to remind himself too. “Because I have no interest in giving up music for a relationship I don’t want or need. If I feel like having sex, I have no shortage of willing women. They know the deal. One night, a few weeks if we hit it off physically, but never a commitment. I’ll never do to anyone what Bryan did to you because I’ll never tie myself to someone when I know I’m not capable of giving them what they want. If that makes me an asshole, then…” He shrugged again.
Cassie’s brow creased, but she surprised him. Instead of walking away, she stepped closer and put her hand on his chest, directly over his heart. “I think I get it. I used to believe being alone was the worst thing in the world, but now I’m wondering if you might have the right idea. Maybe for some people, alone is just how they’re meant to be.”
It was stupid, but he didn’t like hearing those words come out of her mouth. Didn’t like thinking that Bryan’s selfishness had damaged that hopeful, innocent part of her. The ache in his chest tightened, sharpened until the only thing he could feel was his heart pounding against her palm.
He reached out, tipped her chin up, and held her gaze. “Not you.”
She blinked, her lips parting. Before he did something even more stupid, he stepped back. Her hand fell away from his chest.
Zac needed some distance from her. Even his bunk was too close right now. He needed some distance from himself too. But there was only one escape from the thoughts in his own head. “Go to bed, Cassie. I’m going to stay up a bit longer.” Not waiting to see if she listened to him, he turned his back on her, went to the table where he’d left his guitar, and pulled it out of its case.
He was relieved that she didn’t follow him. When he looked over his shoulder to see her gone, his breath came out in a rush.
It shouldn’t have mattered that she’d agreed with him. But it had. Was it just Bryan who had made her feel she was better off alone? Or had someone else hurt her?
And why the hell did the thought of Cassie believing she was meant to be alone bother him so much?
ChapterFourteen
Lexie grabbed Cassie’s arm and tugged her up the stairs to the club’s VIP section. “I’m so glad you came with us,” she said.
It had been almost two weeks since Cassie moved onto Fractured’s bus, and she’d finally gotten used to the strangeness of spending so much time with the band members outside of her work.
Mostly.
