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Zac shook his head, but he couldn’t stop the corners of his lips turning up. Trust Tex to remind him of the words he’d said when he was trying to knock some sense into his friend about Eden. “You think you’re funny?”
Tex just laughed.
Zac’s mood soon sobered. “Actually,” he began slowly, and the amusement around him faded. “There’s something I want to talk to you all about.” His heart battered his rib cage as he prepared to say the words out loud for the first time. “I’ve been thinking a lot lately. About how things are going with Fractured and Crossfire. With the three of you settling down, getting pregnant.” His eyes went to Connor, whose brows had lowered. “Things are going to be changing for us. For Fractured. At some point, we’re going to have to start making tough choices. And—”
“No.” All humor was gone from Noah’s face.
Zac eyed him. “I just think—”
“Not happening,” said Connor.
Zac looked around at them all. Their jaws were tight, their expressions resolute.
He tried again. “Things are different now—”
“You don’t think we saw this coming?” Noah broke in. “That at some stage you would think you needed to choose?”
“Youmade a choice,” Zac reminded him.
Noah nodded. “I did. I made a choice based on what would make me happiest. Spending more time with Summer. That’s what made me the happiest. She is the only thing I would choose over you guys. Butshewould never make me choose. Neither would Lexie. Or Eden. If you tell us that being in Fractured doesn’t make you happy anymore, then you have the right to walk away. You can devote all your time to Crossfire, and there’s no doubt you’ll have a huge amount of success. But make that choice because it’s what will make you happy. Not because you think you have to. Not because you think you can’t have both.”
Zac shook his head. Unsure what to say, sudden doubt cast on what he thought he had to do.
“We know things have been crazy for you,” Tex said. “I don’t think any of us expected Crossfire to take off the way it did. So, the fact things might be changing doesn’t mean you have to walk away. It just means you have the space to do what you need to do with those guys.”
“And if you think we’re going to let you disappear on us, you don’t know us at all,” said Noah. “I haven’t forgotten what you told me. That sometimes it hurts less if you choose to let something go than if you try to hold onto it and lose it anyway. So, don’t think I don’t know what you’re doing.”
Zac scrubbed his hand over his mouth, his eyes moving from one of his friends to the other. Was that what he’d been doing? Trying to give them up before the changes that were coming took them from him? He thought back to his conversations with Devon and Beau, wondering if he’d deliberately misinterpreted their concerns over how hard he was pushing everyone. Was he using them as an excuse to let go of Fractured before the choice was taken out of his hands?
“Look.” Connor leaned forward, and Zac didn’t know if he’d ever seen their lead singer look more serious. “I’m not sure if I’ve ever said this to your faces. But you and Tex and Noah are my family. The three of you, Lexie, and my aunt are the best family I could ask for. I don’t think I ever really talked about how alone I felt when I arrived here from Ireland. That went away when I met all of you. I feel insanely privileged that I’ve been able to go on this journey with you all. And I know things are changing now. I know we’re wading into unknown territory, and that’s a little terrifying. Forallof us. But that doesn’t mean our journey is over. That doesn’t meanFractured’sjourney is over.”
Had he ever really let himself think of his bandmates as his family? He didn’t think so. He’d always been too busy trying to keep some distance—to keepeveryoneat a distance. When he was younger, he’d deliberately held part of himself back, because he didn’t want his friends to know how much his dad hated him. Because deep down he’d been scared that maybe it was true. Maybe hehadbeen responsible for ruining his dad’s life. He’d been frightened, as only a child can be, that if his friends found out the truth, they might believe it too. That it might change the way they looked at him. And he’d needed their friendship and acceptance so badly he’d done everything he could to keep that part of his life hidden. But by doing that, he’d never fully let them in. As close as they’d all grown over the years, he’d never wanted to let himself be completely vulnerable in case he lost them.
Zac’s throat tightened, and he had to swallow hard before he could talk. Something hit him with sudden clarity.Right place, right time. That’s what his father had told him. Those were the words he’d been letting drag him down all these years. He’d spent all this time thinking of it as a bad thing. But it wasn’t. It fucking wasn’t. Because being in the right place at the right time, being in that music room at the same time as Connor and Tex had been a fucking miracle. It had changed his life in a way that had nothing to do with fame and fortune. It had brought him this family. Not just the three of them, but Lexie, Eden, and Summer. He’d spent his whole life caring too much about the opinion of a bitter old man, just because he shared his blood, instead of letting himself care as much as he should about the family he’d chosen to be with.
He took a deep breath as a weight lifted off his chest. He didn’t have to choose. Whatever happened, whatever changed going forward, he would always have these men in his life. “Well, I suppose as brothers go, it could be worse.” He squinted out at the ocean and took another sip of his beer. The others relaxed back in their chairs.
And that was that.
“So, Lexie’s been keeping in touch with Cassie.” Connor changed the subject.
Zac’s heart stumbled again, and it took him a second to school his expression into one of pleasant interest. He wasn’t sure what the others saw on his face in that second, but Noah snorted, then covered his mouth with his fist and pretended to cough when Zac cut his eyes in his direction.
“That’s good. How’s she doing?” he asked, hoping the hoarseness in his voice didn’t give away the tension that filled him.
Connor gave a casual shrug. “You’ll have to ask Lexie. She doesn’t really tell me what they talk about.” A flash of what looked suspiciously like amusement gleamed in his green eyes.
Zac nodded but didn’t give Connor the satisfaction of reacting. Luckily, they followed his lead and moved on to other topics, and he spent the next couple of hours relaxing and enjoying his friends’ company.
But even though he was having a good time, he kept finding his cell phone in his hands, his thumb rubbing over the screen. Once, he even opened his message app and clicked on Lexie’s name. Started typing. But he came to his senses and deleted it. It had been three months. Three months with no contact. Cassie would have moved on by now. Inserting himself back in her life would be a dick thing to do.
That was why he deliberately put his cell phone in a drawer when he got home that evening.
That lasted about ten minutes before he convinced himself it was just friendly interest when he messaged Lexie.
Zac:Hey, Connor mentioned you’ve been in touch with Cassie. I just wanted to make sure she’s doing okay with her new job.
The wait for Lexie to get back to him seemed to stretch on forever. Finally, his phone chimed.
