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Althoughright now,I’mnot sure how to do that.Orif it’s even possible to go back to seeing her as just a friend.HaveIever actually thought of her that way?
Regardless,I’lltry.Iowe it to her andBeau.
Itake a step back beforeIdo something stupid.
Stupider.
“Yeah.”Idon’t like whatI’mabout to say.Itgoes against everythingIwant.Butit might be whatIneed right now.Whatwe both need. “Maybewe should keep some distance for the next couple of days.”Idon’t miss her slight flinch, andIhate thatImight have hurt her. “Idon’t wantBeauto notice us acting weird around each other.He’lllose his shit if he—”
Icut myself off beforeIsay too much, but she catches it.
“YouthinkBeauwould be upset?”Shesearches my face, but beforeIcan think of an answer, she answers her own question. “Becausehe’ll think we’ve ruined our friendship.”
Inod.Bettershe believes that than know the real reason.
“You’renot going to tell him what happened, then?”
Ihuff out a laugh. “Definitelynot.”
Herexpression shifts, becoming unreadable. “Don’tyou think he’s going to notice we’re not hanging around each other as much?”
“Wecan’t not hang around each other.We’lljust do it in a group or withBeauthere.”Ilook at her, so pretty in the sunlit water. “Nomore of this.”Igesture between our bodies. “Justthe two of us.”
Shelets out a laugh, one with an undercurrent of sadness. “I’msure we don’t have to worry about you losing control and ravishing me.Butyeah, okay.Ifit makes you feel better.”
God,Ifeel like such an asshole. “Justfor a few days.”
Oneside of her mouth tips up, but the smile doesn’t reach her eyes. “Yougot it.I’mgoing to swim a few more laps, so you should probably go.”
Ihesitate, fighting the urge to pull her to me and wrap her in my arms.Butshe doesn’t give me the option.Sheturns away, immediately striking out toward the far end of the pool.
Iwatch for a moment, then pull myself out of the water.
Wejust need time, that’s all.
Justenough for what happened last night to fade from our memories.
Ifthat’s even possible.
ChapterTwelve
Shae
It’sbeenfour days since our talk in the pool, andDevonandIhave managed to avoid being alone together.Theguys are busy finalizing the latestCrossfirealbum withZacandCaleb, so they haven’t been home much anyway.
Andwith me concentrating on their schedules, emails, and social media, as well as trying to paint a little on the side,Idoubt it’s obvious to anyone else.
Devon’sidea is working.
Exceptit isn’t.
BecauseIstill can’t stop thinking about that night.AboutDevon’smouth on me, and how, for those far-too-brief moments, he made me feel… beautiful, desirable, incredible.
Moreso thanI’veever felt before.EspeciallyafterPhillip.Andit wasn’t just how goodDevonwas with his tongue and his fingers.Itwas the warmth, the trust,Ifelt.Becauseit was him.I’dlet myself go in a wayI’dnever been able to before.
Anda part of me, a frighteningly large part, wants more.Somuch more.Fortunately, the part of me that sees the stupidity in that desire is stronger.
Regardless,Devondoesn’t want more anyway.Afterall, why would he want to risk our friendship when he has so many other options?Optionsthat don’t come with complications and potential fallout.
