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Butthat isn’t me.Ithurts to admit thatPhillipmight have been right.ThatIdon’t have what it takes.Andif so, does that mean he’s right about all the other things he said to me?Thethought makes my ribs compress, andIpush it away.IwishIcould reclaim the blind optimismIhad beforeImet him.Hell,IwishIcould erase the five yearsIwasted thinking he actually cared about me.
Devonis watching me, an expressionIcan’t read on his face.Hisbrows draw together, and he rubs his thumb over his bottom lip. “Whydon’t you come toLAand stay with me andBeaufor a few months?”
Myheart gives a jolt at the thought of being in such close proximity again.
“Thechange of scenery might inspire you.Youdon’t have a job to worry about right now, so it’s the perfect opportunity.Andyou know we’d love to have you.”Hisexpression lightens, and he smiles a wide, gorgeous smile that sends the butterflies in my stomach fluttering again. “Youcan check out our new penthouse.”
Ilaugh. “Penthouse, huh?Howcould any girl resist?”Butbefore he thinksI’maccepting his very generous offer,Iquickly shake my head.Eventhough the longing to see him andBeausettles like a stone in my stomach,Ican’t go. “It’stempting, andIappreciate it so much, butIneed to concentrate on finding another job.Ihave to make rent unlessIwant to move back in withDad.Asmuch asIlove him, we both need our own space.”
“Youcould make it a working vacation.It’simpossible forBeauand me to keep up with all our admin.Notto mention our social media.Zac’sbeen bugging us about getting our ownPAto manage that stuff.Maybeyou could pick it up for us while you’re here, then help us find someone permanent when you’re ready to go home.You’llbe doing us a favor, and we’ll pay you.It’sperfect.”
Iscrunch up my nose. “Won’tthat be weird?”
Hefrowns. “Why?”
“Youknow.Mybest friends paying me to run around after them.”
Hismouth curves in amusement. “It’snot like we’ll make you get us coffee and pick up our dry cleaning.You’lltake control of our inboxes, keep us on track with our schedules.Thatkind of thing.”Heabsently rubs his hand over his chest, momentarily drawing my attention to the defined muscles visible beneath hisT-shirt. “Sinceyou’ll be living with us, you can crack the whip and get us moving.Makesure we get to all ourPRevents on time.”
Ilaugh.Punctualityhas never been their strong point.
Thenhe gives methe look.Theone that makes me feel as if saying yes to him will be the best decisionI’veever made.Hisblue eyes glitter enticingly, and his lips curve in a smile that screams seduction.It’sthe look that had girls in high school offering him whatever he wanted whenever he wanted it.Thesedays, it probably makes grown women drop their panties for him before he even has to ask—ifthey haven’t already thrown them at him on stage.
I’dlike to believe it’s becauseI’mimmune to his charms now, but that’s not the reasonIshake my head. “Thankyou so much,Devon, butIcan’t leaveDadalone for that long.”
Hedrops the look. “Ithought you said he was okay.”
“Heis.”
“Thenwhat’s the issue?”
“Well… just in case.”
Hisexpression softens. “Shae, you can’t put your life on hold forever.Ican’t imagine your dad would be happy knowing you’re not getting on with your lifejustin case.”
He’sright.AndDadhas said the same thing more than a few times.
“What’sreally going on here?Whyall the excuses?”Devonasks.
Ilook away from the intensity of his gaze.Sevenyears ago, whenIdreamed of going toLAwith them,Iwas young and naïve, determined thatI’dmake something amazing of my life right alongside them.Instead,Iput that all on hold whenDadhad a heart attack a few months beforeIgraduated from high school, whileDevonandBeauhad gone as planned.
EvenonceDadwas better,Icouldn’t bring myself to leave.Ithad been the two of us for so long, and the thought of losing him had hit me hard.Itold myselfI’dgive it a year to make sure he was okay, and thenI’dfollow my friends toLA.ButthenI’dstupidly letPhillipsuck me into his world and stood by as all my dreams slipped through my fingers.
Now, hereIam at twenty-five—fired from working at a bar and rejected from the local art school.Notto mention thatIhaven’t been able to even think about men or dating in the last year.LeavingPhillipwas a necessity for my well-being, but right now,Ifeel like a failure on so many levels.
AndalthoughIvisitedDevonandBeauinLAa couple of times over the last few years—much toPhillip’saggravation—it was only for a few days here and there.Eventhen,Ihadn’t been able to comprehend the lives they were living—full of parties and models and jet-setting around the country.It’ssuch a stark contrast to my current situation, andI’mnot sureI’mready to be confronted with those differences right now.
Onthe other hand,Idowant to try to recapture the personIused to be, as hard as it feels some days.SomaybeDevonis right about getting out of my comfort zone.AndDadwill be fine without me for a couple of months.Icould… reset inLAbefore coming home and starting fresh.
“IguessIcould come for a little while,”Isay. “Althoughyou should probably check withBeaufirst.”
“Beauwon’t have a problem with it.He’lllove having you here.”Heducks his head and looks at me through his dark lashes. “Weboth will.”
Ican’t help but smile, a bubble of happiness inflating my chest at the thought of spending time with the two of them again. “Okay,I’lltalk toDad, and if he’s all right with it,I’lllook into flights and let you know.”Iinhale a deep breath and let it out slowly. “AndDevon, thank you.Really.”
Hissmile twists a little. “Youdon’t need to thank me,Shae.Youshould’ve been here with us a long time ago.”
Oncewe’ve said our goodbyes,Ipick up my paintbrush but stop and examine the ugly canvas.ThenIget up off my stool and flick the switch on the wall, flooding the room with light.Ireplace the ruined canvas with a new one and sit, spine straight and shoulders back.
