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Hescrubs his hand over his mouth, his fingers rasping over his stubble.
“Butyou weren’t interested in me.Afteryou kissed me on the beach, you told me you’d only done it so someone else wouldn’t.Thenyou toldBeauyou really wanted to kissMelissa.Itgutted me.SoIpushed all of that down.Asfar down asIcould, becauseIknew nothing would ever happen between us.”
Devon’svoice, when it comes, is hoarse. “Itwas an excuse,Shae.Iwanted to kiss you.ButBeauandIhad already made the pact.Iknew he was in love with you, andIdidn’t want him to see how muchIwanted it.HowmuchIwantedyou.”
Therevelation should make me happy, butI’mtoo sick at heart from all of it.
Devonlooks pained, his eyes more gray than blue right now. “WhatcanIdo to make this better?”
Iwrap my arms around myself and turn away from him. “Idon’t know.Idon’t know if there is any making this better.”Somethingoccurs to me then, andIswing around to face him again. “Haveyou spoken toBeau?”
Hepinches the bridge of his nose. “Spokenprobably isn’t the right word for it.”
Istay silent, waiting for him to elaborate.
“Wegot in a fight.”
“What?”Igasp. “Likea physical fight?”
“Yeah.”
Ican’t imagine the two of them brawling.Inall the yearsI’veknown them, their arguments have never come to blows. “Why?”
Hestares at me, his lips pressed together.
Achill chases down my spine. “Youowe me the truth,Devon.”
“Shae…”Hepasses his hand over his mouth again. “Itsounds worse than it was.”
“Tellme.”Myvoice comes out brittle.
“Hesaw me taking a couple of groupies back to my hotel room.”
Istumble back, as if his words have a physical force to them.Theimage is even worse than whenIsaw him withIsabelle.Hehad a threesome with random women not even a week after being with me.Andto think,I’dbeen so close to telling himIloved him that night in the pool.Mygut churns.Isabelle, groupies.It’stoo much.Howcan he keep hurting me like this?
“Shae—” he starts.
Painburns through my chest, making my voice shake. “Youneed to leave.”
Helunges forward and grips both of my arms. “Listento me,Shae.Itdidn’t happen.Iwas trashed.ButIpromise you,Ipromiseyou, there was no wayIwould have gone through with it.”
Ipull away. “Idon’t know whatIbelieve anymore.Aboutyou.Aboutany of this.”
Hiseyes are raw with pain and guilt. “Ionly did it becauseBeauwas there andIthought you two were together.Iwas so fucking miserable.That’sno excuse.ButIknew from the startIwasn’t going to be able to touch them.Iwas just fooling myself.”
“Andwhat aboutIsabelle?”Idemand. “Youdidn’t seem to have a problem touching her.”
Surpriseflashes across his face, andIgive a bitter little laugh. “Howmany women have there been since you walked away from me without even the decency of an explanation?”
“Ionly went out withIsabelleone night because she came to the door looking forBeau.Sheneeded a date for an event because her ex-boyfriend was going to be there.YouandBeauweren’t there.Ithought you were out together.Butnothinghappened withIsabelle.”
“Isawyou.Isaw her hug you.Isaw you standing there with your arm around her.”
“Shewas just grateful,Shae.Andshe was cold, soIwas trying to warm her up.”
Istare at him, my heart a painful aching throb behind my ribs. “Youdon’t get it,Devon.WhileIwas running around, desperate to find you, hurt and confused, you were takingIsabelleon a date.WhileIwas here, heartbroken, you were taking groupies back to your hotel room.”
“Itold youIwasn’t going to go through with it.”
