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I cocked my head. “You are?”
“I’m older than I look.”
“I suppose it would be rude of me to ask how much older.”
She laughed again. “I’m thirty-two. Thirty-three in December.” She cocked her head like I had. “How old are you?”
“I fear it’s the opposite for me. I look older than my age.”
Her eyes stayed riveted to mine.
“I’ll be fifty in January.”
I waited for a reaction, but Jaicon just shrugged and got out of the golf cart.
“Let me get that.” When I went to grab the handle of her bag, my hand covered hers, sending a jolt of lust surging through my body. I felt as though I should apologize again, but doing so would draw attention to something she may not have noticed.
“It isn’t heavy, Tryst. I can manage.”
I left my hand where it was. “You’re not just saying that because you think I’m an old man, are you?”
“You arenotan old man.” Her words were as emphatic as the look in her eyes.
She pulled her hand out from under mine and stuffed it in the front pocket of her jeans. “I should, um, ring Fatale—I mean, Merrigan—and see when the plane is scheduled to arrive.” She lowered her gaze.
My left hand remained on the handle of her bag. I itched to bring my right to her chin and raise her face so I could see her eyes once more. “I’ve made you uncomfortable.”
“No,” she said, looking up at me. “Well, maybe.”
I felt like such a fool. Worse, a lecherousoldman. I picked the bag up, carried it to thecasita, and opened the door. I set it inside, then returned to her. “You’ll find the key hanging just inside the entryway. I’ll have one of the caretakers stock the refrigerator and pantry whenever it would be the least intrusive. There is a riding center, a meditation room, and a chapel on the property. You are welcome to make use of any of them.” I walked beyond the golf cart but motioned to it. “I will leave this here in case you need to use it.”
Her mouth opened just slightly, then closed.
“Good afternoon, Jaicon. It was a pleasure to meet you.”
“Wait,” she said when I was almost at my front door.
I looked over my shoulder. “Yes?”
“I’ve offended you. It wasn’t my intention.”
“You have not. I have several nieces and nephews your age. You remind me of them. I forget that not every family is as…affectionate as ours. Again, forgive me.” I opened the door, went inside, and rested against its solid wood after I closed it behind me. Shutting my eyes, I raked my hand through my hair.
What had I been thinking? First, I could barely keep my hands off the woman, then I said she reminded me of my nieces. Or niece. I only had one. Not that Jaicon knew that, or ever would. I’d gone from a lecherous old man to a more lecherous olduncle.
I opened my eyes and stared up at the ceiling. The words were on the tip of my tongue to ask for Rosa’s forgiveness. Somehow, that made my behavior seem worse.
I stalked to the rear door of the house and walked to the meditation center. It was a far enough distance for me to usually take one of the golf carts. Now, though, I needed to walk off the negative energy swirling inside me before I entered the sacred place.
I bowedas I walked through the door, then lit the candles on the Vastu altar before placing a mat on the floor. Rather than begin, as I often did, withSukhasana, I lay flat on my back and focused on merging my thoughts and my present state of agitation.
I took several deep breaths, reminding myself to appreciate my body, my life, and my circumstances—exactly as they were.
I lay one hand on my chest, heart center, then crossed it with the other, letting go of my expectations with every breath I exhaled. Each time I inhaled, I brought in gratitude.
I let go of the passage of time, waiting instead for the calm of stillness to wash over me. Then, I’d be ready to begin. It didn’t matter if it took minutes or hours.
When my disquiet evolved into peace, I slowly stood and stretched my neck and shoulders. I turned my head just as the door to the center opened. Jaicon peeked inside, then closed it without coming in.
