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The three of us climbed on the fence rail and watched. I saw signs of her skittishness every so often, but she was doing so much better. I was astounded. She’d put on weight, and her coat shined beautifully.
“When that horse arrived at the rehabilitation center, she was in terrible condition. The progress they’ve made with her is remarkable.” I’d kept my voice low when I made the comment to Zep and Mag, but evidently not low enough for Cariño not to hear.
Tex laughed when she pulled away, straining the catch rope. He quickly released her, and she came bounding over to the fence.
“She’s happy to see you!” Tex shouted.
“Likewise. She looks fantastic.” The horse pushed at me with her nose, and I scratched behind her ears. “I’ve missed you, girl,” I whispered. She responded with a soft nicker.
She stiffened when Tex approached, but once he jumped up on the fence with the others, she settled. “I was going to see how she took to a saddle in the next couple of days. Would you like to be here when I do?”
“I would love to be,” I said, but then thought better of it. “I am working, Tex. So as much as I do, it will depend on what else is going on.”
He nodded. “I spoke with Tryst earlier. He filled me in.”
“Then you understand that while I may want to stay and watch, the things we need to do in advance of his arrival take priority.”
“Copy that, Jacy. Good to see you back here.”
“What’s that?” asked Zep once we’d returned to the golf cart and were en route to thecasitas. I shielded my eyes from the sun and looked where he pointed.
“I believe it’s a temple. I’ve not visited.” It dawned on me it was the one place on the ranch Tryst had never taken me to. I couldn’t help but wonder why he hadn’t.
15
TRYST
My concern for both Jada and Jaicon weighed heavily on me. While the former’s need for comfort and healing appeared to be the more urgent of the two, I couldn’t help but think I had somehow let Jaicon down.
I thought through our last few interactions many times and couldn’t pinpoint exactly when things had shifted as drastically as they had.
Nothing I could recall saying in the conversation we’d had about children was something I believed would have hurt her. Yet, that was when things had changed between us.
I replayed what I’d said about Rosa being diagnosed with cancer after we sought advice about fertility in my head and did my best to recall her reaction, and still, nothing explained her withdrawal. She’d said she understood.
After that, I’d asked whether she and her husband had discussed having a family, and she’d responded they had not.
I also thought about holding her in my arms last night. It had felt different than the night before.
Rather than looking for what might have upset her, perhaps I should turn my gaze inward. Was it me who was feeling so unsettled? Was I projecting my own issues onto her?
There was only one thing I was certain of, and that was as soon as I could, I needed to visit the meditation center so I could figure this out.
It was almostmidnight by the time Jada was settled enough I felt as though I could leave her alone with Lynne, the nurse who had traveled with us.
The air outside was chilled, but the moon was bright as I drove from my house to the place I knew would soothe my soul more than any other.
When I got closer, I was surprised to see another cart parked in front, as well as the glow of candlelight from inside. I thought about turning around and leaving whoever it was in peace, but curiosity and my own need to meditate compelled me to stay.
I thanked the gods and goddesses when I peeked in the window and saw it was Jaicon. There wasn’t anyone I needed to feel a connection with more than her.
I entered the space as quietly as I could but came to a dead stop when I heard her sobbing. She sat in Siddhasana pose, facing themandir, and when I went to step closer, it was as though my ankles were shackled.
From the time the center was first built, I’d never felt like I didn’t belong here. Until tonight. I felt like I was intruding on something private—something Jaicon didn’t want me to see or hear. I took several steps backwards and left as quietly as I’d come.
When I wokethe next morning, I was as tired as when I’d gone to bed. I missed the comfort of sleeping beside Jaicon, but thinking about sleeping with her here now, even without intimacy, felt wrong.
“Good morning,” said Lynne, joining me in the kitchen as I stared into a cup of black coffee. “I’m not sure who had a harder night, you or Jada.”
