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He stepped closer. “May I ask what made you so sad?”
“It wasn’t sadness as much as resignation.”
He remained silent but fixated.
“I know how this sounds…”
“Tell me anyway.”
“I have what’s referred to as a photographic memory. Believe me, I’ve heard all the comments—how lucky I must’ve been at university, not to have to study for my exams. Things like that. It isn’t something I consider lucky.”
“I would imagine not.”
I cocked my head. “It’s rare someone understands without further explanation.”
“There are many things I choose not to remember. I cannot imagine how difficult it must be not to have the choice.”
“That’sexactlyit.” I glanced over my shoulder at the spot where the sun had disappeared. “On the other hand, I’ll never forget this.”
“The first time I visited, it was this sight that convinced me I had to make this my home.”
“I can see why it would.” I felt his eyes on me and turned my head. “You’re supposed to be looking at this spectacular view,” I said, waving my hand.
“I am.”
I smiled and shook my head. “I told Merrigan I thought you were a terrible flirt.”
“How did she respond?”
“She said you weren’t.”
“I doubt you’ll believe this, but she is right.” He took a deep breath and let it out slowly. “With you, I can’t help myself.”
3
TRYST
Isat on theterrazabehind my house, winding down from the day. As tired as I should feel, I didn’t. My body, my brain, and my soul were filled with too many other emotions. I felt unsettled, anxious, perplexed, and above all else, desirous.
Meeting Jaicon “Esencia” Heart had stirred things inside me I never thought I’d feel again. Now that I had, I couldn’t say it made me happy.
Before she and I walked down the hill, her to the guestcasitaand me to my house, she’d said I was a terrible flirt. Earlier, she’d said incorrigible.
Merrigan spoke the truth when she disputed the opinion Jaicon had shared. Iwasn’tthe kind of man to come on to women. I’d believed that part of me died with Rosa—the only woman I’d ever loved, ever desired in an all-consuming way.
What a fool I’d made of myself earlier by doing the very thing I’d said I didn’t do. I behaved like a smitten teenager with a woman seventeen years my junior. Thankfully, there weren’t many witnesses to my idiocy.
This behavior was not indicative of how I saw myself. Who I believed myself to be. Yet, I longed to touch Jaicon, to kiss her, to remove her clothes piece by piece until she stood naked before me. Then I wished to memorize every inch of her body, know it with my eyes, my hands, my lips, and my tongue. I wanted to spend countless hours getting to know everything about her—how she thought, what she liked, her dreams.
Yet, if I chose to act on my attraction, what would happen?Nothing.There was more than our age difference to prevent us from having a relationship. While I owned other properties, primarily in California, I was a rancher who lived in Mexico and ran an equine rehabilitation program started by my late wife. Jaicon was a covert operative for a private intelligence firm whose work took her all over the world. Could our day-to-day lives be more disparate?
What did that leave? A physical attraction? I wasn’t the kind of man who believed in meaningless sex. I didn’t as a young man, and I certainly didn’t now. Since there was no possibility of any other kind of relationship between us, the best thing I could do was keep my distance.
I shook my head and chuckled to myself. Here I was, deciding to stay away from a woman who would have no interest in interacting with me anyway.
“Foolish old man,” I muttered, staring into the waning fire. Rather than throw another log on, I’d let it die out, go inside, and perhaps read until my brain settled itself. Thus was my life, and it was comfortable.
On instinct, I looked up when I heard a door open and saw Jaicon approach the half wall that surrounded theterrazaof the guestcasita. There was enough light from the moon for me to see her rest her hands on the stone and look up at the night sky.
