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I shook my head, and he turned to Hudson.
“All right, let’s hear it. Give me the dirty.”
Hudson rubbed his hands on his pants, and I was curious what he was about to spill.
“I, uh, have done some things I’m not proud of.”
Viper gestured for him to keep going. “Like…?”
“I shouldn’t have done it, but I’ve…gone home with guys I knew I wouldn’t call again,” he said, avoiding my stare. “I’d do it to make myself feel better, and it’s no excuse, but I shouldn’t have been such a selfish asshole using people. It’s not who I am, and I hate that I led anyone on.”
Hudson’s confession was met with silence.
While I didn’t like the thought of his sleeping with other guys, I’d been doing the same thing. The fact that he didn’t have any emotional attachment to them felt like a relief, in all honesty. If he’d been in relationships, that would’ve hurt so much worse.
“You’ve gotta be kidding me.” Viper rubbed at his face, shaking his head. “If that’s the worst shit you’ve done, maybe you guys won’t be able to relate at all.”
“What?” Hudson looked alarmed, like maybe regretting sleeping with a few guys in comparison to the shenanigans Viper got up to was a bad decision. “No, I can assure you that no matter what I may or may not have done in my past, I’m the man for the job. I mean…my lifestyle isn’t the same as a rock star, so how I feel about my own life doesn’t reflect on your choices. You won’t find judgment here, just a desire to get your story out into the world, and Montgomery Publishing is the right company for that.”
Viper narrowed his eyes on Hudson, seemingly thinking it over. After a long minute, his attention moved in my direction.
“And you? Push any kids off their bikes for fun?”
“No. I wish that’d been all.”
“If you tell me that you stole bubblegum from a grocery store when you were twelve, you can get the fuck out.”
I shook my head, trying to think of something, anything else, that I could say that wouldn’t completely destroy the last few days with Hudson, but deep down I knew. It was time. I’d have to spill my guts, come clean about the why of what I’d done, and prove to the man I loved that I was indeed the coward he’d hated for a decade. That he’d done the right thing by cutting ties with me.
That he should do that again now.
I could feel Hudson’s eyes on me, but I couldn’t look at him. Instead, I kept my focus on Viper and told him the story, the one I’d been beating myself up over for years.
It was a shame I hadn’t gotten enough time with Hudson, but anything less than forever was always going to be too short.
I took a deep breath…
The party was in full swing, the amount of people fitting into the frat house well over capacity. Hudson had disappeared what felt like forever ago to get us refills while I’d commandeered the dance floor. But there’d been at least five songs played and he hadn’t come back.
“Yo, Davis,” I called out to one of our brothers. “You see Montgomery anywhere?”
He nodded toward the back door, and I pushed through the crowd to head outside. Several glasses of that moonshine punch, whatever it was, had given me a serious buzz, and though I probably didn’t need any more, I wasn’t going to turn down anything Hudson gave me.
If I could find the guy.
The cool breeze when I stepped outside felt so good, and I understood why he would’ve come out here instead of staying jam-packed in with sweltering bodies. The only hot body he better want was mine, though it was getting harder and harder to keep us a secret from everyone. In my mind, it wasn’t a big deal, but the unspoken rule was still one I followed.
I was too drunk at the moment to remember why.
My phone buzzed in my pocket, and I answered it without checking the screen.
“H, where the hell are you and where’s my drink?”
It wasn’t Hudson that answered me.
“Please tell me my son isn’t getting drunk at a party.”
Fuuuck.Hearing from my dad was enough to slap me sober. “Okay. I won’t tell you that.”
